It just can’t be. That’s the first thing I said when I looked for my review of D12's debut Devils Night. Summer of 2001? Where does the time go? Well way back when, based solely on the strength of rapper Eminem, the rap group D12 (Eminem, Bizarre, Proof, Kuniva, Swift, Kon Artis) sold like crazy, good enough in fact to debut at #1 on Billboard’s 200. History seems to be repeating itself once again as D12's sophomore bullet D12 World- lands once again at... drum roll please... #1.

On a totally unrelated side note, as predicted (and I can hardly believe it myself) Fallen by Evanescence does in fact have long legs. The same week D12 shot and bragged their way to #1 there was Fallen at #9 after 61 weeks on Billboard. Absolutely amazing but I digress. I guess this would be a good time to admit I can’t confirm or deny that Eminem banged either Christina or Britney. I just have no interest in coming up with some RollingStone/Spin/Newspaper-y title. Like rap I have personally fallen to the lowest common denominator.

As for the numbers, don’t mistake my penchant for spitting statistics at the moment as some kind of quality endorsement for D12. Their debut had a few interesting moments, some lame skits, with Eminem acting as the lynch pin throughout. The same can be said for D12 World with some adjustments (crunk/southern-ish swings) for shifts in rap styles and trends. D12 World wisely skews even more toward the playful, weird (rapper Bizarre) and jocular. Had these guys taken themselves too seriously I suspect more fans would dismiss D12. Without a doubt, delivering an album that’s very “Weird Al Yankovic” gets them off all kinds of hooks.

Eminem hits the ground running on the first track Git Up sporting an odd, machine gun verbiage that’s almost blurred together like one giant thought. Nothing heavy here, just general boasting and bragging. Thankfully this grainy, harsh sounding track style doesn’t rear its head again. Loyalty, 6 in the morning, Leave that boy alone, (among others) are the classic D12 material, testosterone, threats, and gun waving galore.

Eminem doesn’t drop any truly deep Stan material, but at times, Eminem and the gang do rap in that direction. Just like you is a little nod to Eminem’s I think my dad's gone crazy (Eminem Show) and the slapstick My band is, if anything, this album's“Purple Pills."How come is the only track to shed the personas and the funny for some serious vibes. “...You were by my side with a shoulder to cry on and tissue to wipe my eyes and a bucket to catch every tear I cried inside it." Yes it’s the story of friendships turned sour with the chorus “how come we don’t even talk no more, and you don’t even call no more.” It’s D12 describing how friendships become strained and broken because of fame and the resentment that comes with it from those still back home. I rather enjoy these little glimpses of depth and I wish D12 would show more of it. The Good Die Young does the same thing, but it’s so overdone on rap records, I tend to dismiss it.

Attempting to keep up with the current rap fads, D12 drops 40oz, a crunk rap track. Yes folks it’s Eminem et al. full of chants, sporting rows of gold teeth, surrounded by strippers. 40 oz is about as crunk and dumb as it gets. Anybody remember RUN D.M.C trying to stay current on Down with the king, their shot at Gangsta rap? Well this isn’t that bad, but Eminem emulating the exact verbal cadence found on every crunk record is almost as bad if not spooky. 40 oz is so low on the IQ meter based on the title alone. I’m not sure why they didn’t just call it my 40 oz, watermelon, chicken wings and fubu shirt while they were at it. With an audio sample of a car engine trying to turn over near the end (listen carefully it’s there) 40 oz is about as trailer park as it gets. A few million kids that have Lil Flip’s Game over burned into their brains will think this track is "hella tight" (or something along those lines). With the exception of Obie Trice showing up, the only other notable audio cameo is made by B-Real (of Cypress Hill) with the chorus on American Psycho II. I’m not even sure why they bothered to call the guy, his contribution is lame and uninspired. B-Real is no Hispanic Nate Dogg. The production overall is above average with Kayne West helping out (D12 World) and Dre as well (American Psycho II) keeping things above board, but unspectacular.

Time for me to just to bottom-line this thing already. D12 world isn’t deep, and the bravado isn’t even all that stout. It’s the fun that these guys seem to have hanging out with each other that’s the dog’s tuxedo. Individually, these rappers (not counting Eminem) are painfully average, but together they do have a kind of mens locker room chemistry with My Band being a great example. With Bizarre’s lunatic thoughts “Talking nasty shit, Bizarre won’t stop, I fucked two twins with a midget on top” you’ve got a funky core. Throw on some gruff from the rest of the gang and Eminem’s speedy thoughts, and D12 World is a good time and nothing else. D12 World is also a great way to calm the shakes whilst we all wait for the next Eminem album, Eminem World. Okay, that’s my imagination at work, but I can dream right? Fuck you to anybody that said I can’t. Oh man I have to cut down on the rap music.


© Tony Flores 2004





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