Please note that this review was written before the SNL incident...I have no intention of changing this review based on what happened...why? Because I'm too lazy to. End of story...M

The long and the short of it? See my title.

I watched a couple of episodes of Ashlee Simpson's "reality" show and came away wondering how in the world a 19 year old girl doesn't know how to use a mop...it fed into the "daddy's little girl" suspiscions that I had about Jessica Simpson's little sister. And given how outright lacking in common sense Jessica was, I wasn't surprised to see that Ashlee was a spoiled little brat too.

And then her music started showing up on the radio. "Great," I thought, "now I have two Simpsons getting shoved down my throat everywhere I look." At first, I found Ashlee's first single Pieces of Me to be an innocuous piece of pop/rock that had no originality to it; to me it sounded like a Hilary Duff b-side, and well, I'd love to do to Hilary Duff what was done to captured pirates in Pirates of the Carribbean (ahoy! let this be a warning to annoyingly perky teenage pop stars and the music they create!).

And then something weird happened. Pieces of Me started growing on me. It isn't a great song, not by any means, but I love that bridge ("How do you know everything I'm about to say, Am I that obvious and if it's written on my face I hope it never goes away"), and there are lyrics to make even the most diehard Ashlee fan wince (the chorus especially).

And then, certain people started praising the hell out of this album on this website. And I'm not talking about the vomit-inducing street team that has hit this website even harder than Avril's did two months ago. I'm talking about a couple of people who I trust. And so, I picked up Autobiography, the debut album from Ms. Simpson, from my library.

My first impression was that on a lot of tracks, at least musically, she went for a Michelle Branch type of vibe. Not that this is a bad thing, given the fact that I really dig Michelle Branch. The bit of guitar on the album opening title track is a variation on the riff that formed the basis for Michelle's minor hit Breathe. The title track isn't one of the better tracks here, though it does have its moments (I love the "Got bruises on my heart" line). Unfortunately, Ashlee's voice proves to be one of her bigger weaknesses right away. When she wails like a screaming cat towards the end ("I'm a bad a*s girl in this messed up world, I'm a sexy girl in this crazy world, I'm a simple girl in a complex world, A nasty girl, you wanna get with me") its reminiscent of Courtney Love; and well, reminding me of Courtney Love is never a good thing.

The swagger of Love For Me is refreshing, even though it may sport the worst line of the record ("your stuff at my place, next thing you know you'll be using my tooth paste"...WHAT?). The song has a bit of an edge to it, and not the sheened off edge that a couple of other songs have it. The production on this song is a bit more raw and it works really well.

Unreachable has a bit of a Fiona Apple feel to it, with those piano notes that echo throughout the song. Granted, the song becomes much more sunny than I think Fiona ever could be (not that I have much experience with the woman's music, the piano notes just remind me of Criminal). The music on Undiscovered reminds me a bit of U2, with the layers of sounds and the up front melodic guitar, and the lyrics are some of the better ones on the record.

There are times though, where Ashlee falls into the overproduced pop version of "punk" mixed with pure pop/rock that has taken over radio airwaves in recent years. Lala is one of these, and I can't stand what they did to her voice on this track, it sounds like sh*t. Nothing New is an appropriate title, given it's generic musical formula and it's awful lyrics (I'm sorry, I can't take anyone seriously who sings "what's your damage today?").

At other times, the music intrigues me (as on Better Off, with that great melody), but the lyrics do nothing for me.

Autobiography is not the best, nor is it the worst, album I've heard this year. There is just barely enough here to warrant three stars and a cautious recommendation. If Ashlee truly wants to "rock," she needs to take off the chains and stop sounding like a girl who wants to rock but wants Michelle Branch melodies on her songs. It's one or the other, Ash, this album proves that trying to have both on songs doesn't work very well.

3 stars.



Recommended: Yes