richco's Full Review: Dork Rock Cork Rod by The Ergs!
Look, I’m not gonna BS you. I know the ERGS. We have played some of our best shows with the ERGS. Drummer Mikey Erg has heckled me for a cumulative 4 hours at this point. I have seen the band at CBGB and in a weensy little basement in East Brunswick. I have seen 2/3 of the band shirtless. Perhaps I have seen too much.
None of this changes the fact that not only are the ERGS a great bunch of guys, they FREAKING POP PUNK GENIUSES! Here’s what you have:
Mikey Erg- Drums and lead vocals Jeff Erg- Guitar and lead vocals on 2 songs Joey Erg- Bass
The ERGS are like a trio of musical MacGuyvers. The build the catchiest little songs from what appears to be pieces that would never work. Think ALL, think the Descendents, and you’ll be sorta there. All three of these mooks play their instruments so well that, had they been mere mortals, they might be inspired to be in some band who plays too well for their own good, like Rush or Primus. Look, I know I’m going to have tons of folks telling me how good Rush and Primus are and let me say this: I KNOW THEY ARE REALLY GOOD. Form a technical standpoint. Primus cannot seem to write a catchy song to save their collective hindquarters. Rush, less so, but you get the idea!
Let me get back to the ERGS. Joe, Mike, Jeff. Separately they may be masters of their instruments, but together, they form an unstoppable juggernaut of slashing guitars, drumming on the very edge of chaos, bass you won’t be able to believe was played by a being with mere hands, and buckets and buckets of bright pop hooks! The ERGS manage to make thrash-pop. Like Herman’s Hermits if they were on SST, drank a lot of sugared beverages, and liked to swear. Or if Rollins, fronting black Flag was a little more of sap, as opposed to being so depressed and alienated all the time.
The album has 16 tracks, all gems. It’s one of those records you can listen to, start to finish. I can’t even do that with MY record! Let me highlight my favorites tracks for you though, because, well, that’s what I do!
“First Song, Side One” and “A Very Special Song for a Very Special Young Lady Part II” start off the album. “I’m in love, I’m in trouble! Hearing things, seeing double!” blurts Mikey. Ah yes, another song about a girl. Mikey writes em by the bushel. All of them as sincere as the heart on his sleeve. Are they all different girls or the same one that keeps showing up wherever he goes? It doesn’t matter because she broke his widdle heart he’s gonna sing about it, by gum!
“I’ll bet my life that you’re never gonna call me/I’ll bet my life that I’ll end up being lonely” is the great couplet that starts “Most Violent Rap Group” which slides into “Pray for Rain.” The second song being to a girl (DUH!) who Mikey is waiting to get dumped by. If he’s in love, why does he want to get ditched, you ask. Well, because he can’t seem to write a good girl song unless his heart is being stomped on like winery grapes.
While I like the next three tracks, it’s #10 “August 19th” that makes me move the most. It’s a birthday reminder for the girl who thought you forgot. Mikey knows the girl doesn’t care anymore, but he does! This makes up the first part of the trifecta of goodness that has the thrashing (and 20 some second long) “Maybe I’m the new Messiah” (which sounds an awful lot like Black Flag’s guitarist Greg Ginn’s project “Gone” if you’re looking for a reference)in the middle, which stops abruptly and launches into “Rod Argent” which would be at home on any record by the Zombies, or in one of those B-beach movies (Where they would be billed as Cap’n Ahab and his Salty Dogs or something…).
There’s more great tunes on this, oh so many more! I have only scratched the surface. Send 10 dollars to Whoa-oh records and you’ll get this puppy delivered to your door in a matter of days.
Thank me later. I know you will, if you order it.
www.whoaohrecords.com or visit the band's site www.dorkrockcorkrod.com
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