Andrew's review of K-Os' Joyful Rebellion, Take 1:

The title of K-Os' second album, the Joyful Rebellion, is pretty apt as far as titles go: i mean, the unfortunate title of the final Jay-Z record, the Black Album, didn't offer up the full-scale Blackalicious-style black album that I was hoping for, but the Joyful Rebellion actually sounds like a joyful rebellion, so there you have it. It's the most perfect album title of all time. Or at least in the top ten.

It's true, though. All at once, Joyful Rebellion is an assault on hip-hop and its practitioners and a big sloppy kiss to the form, a full-scale revolt, a call-to-arms, a warm bear hug. If that sounds complicated, that's because you're retarded. I'm sorry. It is _way_ too late for me to complete this review. I mean, this is an excellent album and i love it-- i wouldn't listen to it so obsessively otherwise-- but damn. It's just that I've got this writer's block, and I felt like sitting down and writing something, preferably a music review so everybody doesn't get all restless and forget about me, and what happens? I come up with a perfectly good intro, only to fall back onto bumbling ramblings like those found on strangers' blogs.

So, that digression aside: i haven't heard the first K-Os album, Exit, but Joyful Rebellion makes me want to. I know that, historically, the acoustic guitar has been almost diametrically opposed to hip-hop-- witness, for example, Lauryn Hill's disastrous Unplugged album, which was kind of like watching a big rock roll down a slippery slope, or like watching a novice skiier accidentally get on a black diamond hill-- but luckily K-Os, soulful and talented and totally Canadian, doesn't care. His brand of hip-hop is no more-- and no less-- hip-hop than, say, Linkin Park. Just better. And if you think otherwise, tell your dad that i'm sorry the gene for retardation passed on with such ease.

I have no idea what I've been writing for the past three paragraphs.

I'm totally not publishing this.

[A note from the editor: By finishing this review with "I'm totally not publishing this," and then going ahead and publishing it anyway, the author wants you to laugh at what essentially amounts to an amusing contradiction; kind of like those scenes in second-rate sitcoms where the character says "Linda, there's no _way_ i'm dressing up as Winnie the Pooh to get back your sister's favorite shirt!", but in the next scene, the character's wearing the damn Pooh costume anyway. The author hopes you'll acknowledge his totally rockin' sense of irony through this. Also, he hopes you'll forgive his late-nite use of the word "retarded". No retards were harmed during the making of this review. Except for, arguably, the author.]

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Andrew's review of K-Os' Joyful Rebellion, Take 2:

The title of K-Os' second album, the Joyful Rebellion, is pretty apt as far as titles go: i mean, the unfortunate title of the final Jay-Z record, the Black Album, didn't offer up the full-scale Blackalicious-style black album that I was hoping for, but the Joyful Rebellion actually sounds like a joyful rebellion, so there you have it. It's the most perfect album title of all time. Or at least in the top ten.

Wielding an acoustic guitar and an awful smooth flow-- and, it must be said, an equally smooth singing voice-- Canadian emcee K-Os has crafted an album of what, essentially, would amount to a series of biitchin' rap/sung collabos, if K-Os weren't doing all the vocals himself. Which, really, makes Joyful Rebellion that much more impressive (plus, dude works well with himself, so props for that). Though "Man I Used To Be" _might_ be the best song on the album-- it's funk-by-way-of-hip-hop-by-way-of-"Billie Jean" beat a marvelous party-starter-- it's "the Love Song," almost equally impressive and certainly prettier, that will probably prove the most enduring Joyful Rebellion denizen. It is, essentially, a beautiful melody paired with a hip-hop beat and peppered with sporadic raps: but the nonrevolutionary formula manages a fruitful merging of melody and rhythm more exciting and edgier than, say, Linkin Park, or Nelly.

If there's a downfall to K-Os, it's not what some naysayers would claim to be a rather lazy flow (i prefer 'laid-back'), but his almost-slavish insistence on slandering materialistic, bling-happy mainstream hip-hop culture-- which i'm sure i've done at some point or another, sure, but I never preserve my opinions to wax (because that would make it that much more difficult to change them, later on, because someone could call me on them). This, however, is immaterial. What is totally pertinent, though, is the swiftness with which one of my reviews can degrade into absolute nothingness. All of a sudden, what was once a perfectly acceptable review of an album i love-- and not a particularly difficult album to defend, either, like, i dunno, Metal Machine Music, or Shatner's the Transformed Man, but an album that's actually rather easy to like, starring a very musical, likeable talent, and a host of super-catchy melodies and beats. And yet, here I am, completely trailing off, turning what could have been a promising (if potentially super-short) review into, well, shiit.

I think it's 'cause I'm out of practice, really. I haven't touched a piano in seven years; but I could _rock_ that biitch back in the day.

I'm not publishing this one either.

[A note from the editor: Again, the author has concluded a piece with "I'm not publishing this one either," ostensibly to underline, first of all, his sense of irony, but this time serving to also note his gift for comic repetition (refer to first essay). Also, note that the author included a paragraph or two of actual, by-God music commentary, just to show that he can still do it if he tries real hard. He's doing it more to prove it to himself than to you, but take into account that the first half of this sentence is a lie. The author also referenced Metal Machine Music and Shatner's the Transformed Man, his reasons for doing so being twofold: the author would like you to realize that he knows a lot about notorious, time-forgotten albums, and he also wants to prove his mettle as a music reviewer by being kinda condescending to those who don't know a thing about either album. Not overtly condescending, mind you-- it's more like masked condescension, implying that you should, right off the bat, know the artist behind Metal Machine Music, and know exactly why Shatner's Transformed Man could be uniformly vilified. The author also hopes that you will recognize by this point that this review is not a real review, but a concept review, borne of said author's vicious writer's block, and that this is all just a gimmick by which you'll hopefully acknowledge his mild cleverness, uncommon acumen, and mildly impressive usage of polysyllabic words. Finally, the author wants to acknowledge that, despite his sniping of them earlier in the piece, he really doesn't dislike Linkin Park and Nelly all _that_ much, but it makes him look better as a critic by implying that a relatively obscure rapping Canadian is better. Thanks.]

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Andrew's review of K-Os' Joyful Rebellion, Take 3:

The title of K-Os' second album, the Joyful Rebellion, is pretty apt as far as titles go: i mean, the unfortunate title of the final Jay-Z record, the Black Album, didn't offer up the full-scale Blackalicious-style black album that I was hoping for, but the Joyful Rebellion actually sounds like a joyful rebellion, so there you have it. It's the most perfect album title of all time. Or at least in the top ten.

(because i'm creatively stumped i'll offer my)
NOTES substituting for actual paragraphs ON JOYFUL REBELLION!!!!!!!!!!!

- This album is really impressive in the way it manages to extol goodwill and virtue through music that, simultaneously, kinda snipes a bit at adversaries.

- After hearing the Joyful Rebellion, i've made it an issue of absolute priority to get a copy of the first K-Os album, Exit.

- I've just realized that, as much as I love this album, it's flawed. For example, I love his voice, but more rapping, please. More integration of the two would have totally rocked my world, but Joyful Rebellion kinda already does that as is, so no points taken off.

- "Man I Used to Be" is one of the most exceptional tracks I've heard in a looooong time. To follow that up with the incredible front-porch stomp of "Crabbuckit" is cruel to white people, because it makes us dance in public.

- Though other reviewers have dismissed it as superfluous, I really like "Clap Ur Handz." It's short, and kind of inconsequential, but such pleasant interludes are so rarely found on hip-hop records that you tend to cherish the ones that really rock your world.

- K-Os loves music, and that's contagious.

- I still think "The Love Song" is one of the most gorgeous tracks I've heard in a long time. Except for "Hallelujah," which follows it. Much like the one-two asss-shimmy of "Man I Used To Be" and "Crabbuckit," "The Love Song" and "Hallelujah" finds a whole lot o' pretty in one place, and it makes me so happy I can't begin to tell you.

- I maintain my bias against tacking hidden tracks onto the end of tracks, separated by a few moments of silence .. I mean, it puts a severe hamper on mixing any of the tracks, for one thing.

- "B-Boy Stance" is such a great title.

- "Dirty Water" is a great song to drive to.

- I wonder, come to think of it, if this will service as a review? Sure, it's not in traditional paragraph form, but it's all grammatically correct, with all the letters and commas in the right places, and it kind of succinctly summarizes everything I couldn't accurately say in my first two attempts. Hmm.

- Okay, mind's made up. I'm publishing this one.

[A note from the editor: It must be pointed out that the author kind of tacked this on as a way of filling in the gaps left by the first two "aborted" drafts, but has attempted to pass it off as his own personal note sheet because, it's more candid that way. He also intended this gimmicky concept review as a keenly-veiled demonstration of his own psyche as of late, about how he writes and re-writes reviews constantly because his writer's block sucks so bad. He wants the reader to offer a sort of sympathetic approval, a kind of, "well, yeah, it's choppy, and kind of pretentiously conceptual, but look at the poor guy, he's cracking up, I'll give the nice little lunatic a good rating and move on." He also would genuinely like to pimp out K-Os's Joyful Rebellion, because he's not sure how well he's done on that front in this review, and would like to cover all his bases. Also, by assuming the position of the "editor" and discussing his work in the third person, the author would like you to realize that he's as hyper-critical of shiit like this as you are. Finally, the author hopes he's covered all his critical bases and left you with nothing to criticize me, limiting comment replies to commending me on my candidness, humor, and inventiveness. This has been a brilliant work of conceptual creativity. Thanks.]

Recommended: Yes

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