I suppose I should make a disclaimer here. I don't know much about "metal" music. Shoot, I don't even really know if the term is used much any more to describe music - it seems to have fallen out of favor, to be replaced by either "hard rock" or some variant of "____core". But recently, I asked my friend Wildcat, who is a lot more knowledgeable about "hard music" than I am, what she thought some of the best "metal" bands on the Christian music scene were, and one of the bands she mentioned was He Is Legend. Having given the band's music a shot due to sheer curiosity alone, I thought that was kind of an odd response, and I guess I should explain why. See, I've come to define "metal" as any variant of rock music that is extreme enough to scare the hell out of your parents. And He Is Legend, while they have some screaming and weird lyrics that would definitely qualify, also shows a knack for surprisingly solid hooks, groovy instrumental passages, and smooth vocal crooning that wouldn't scare the hell out of anyone.

So what's the deal? Can I call them a "metal" band without getting stuff thrown at me? Well, I don't want to attempt to navigate the massive labyrinth of metal sub-genres that I'd only be guessing at a description of, so let's just say that He Is Legend is an enigmatic band that combines the screaming, growling, and thrashing of certain types of metal with strange song titles and lyrics that could be almost emo or goth in nature, and odd little jaunts into much more hook-laden and catchy melodic rock territory. By all accounts, this approach, as heard on their first full album I Am Hollywood, shouldn't work at all - and I was tempted to think that it didn't when I first listened to the tangled mess that the album appeared to be. After subsequent listens, this strange mix of sing-song and shredding, straightforward and progressive, amusement and fear, began to worm its way into my brain. Not only are these guys tight for a much more underground-type band in the Christian music scene, they're also a lot more literate and musically accomplished. That's good news for those of you who aren't necessarily of a religious band making albums that only end up being commercials for their religion.

Like some of the best religious bands out there, He Is Legend prefers to take the oblique and poetic approach, letting their worldview inform their songwriting in a way that someone who wasn't religious could still get a lot out of it. In He Is Legend's case, unlike most Christian bands (though it's probably more common among the harder-edged acts that I just don't know a lot about), they kind of draw their inspiration from the inverse of faith and happiness, in a manner similar to Project 86. I Am Hollywood is an album that uses dark and sometimes utterly insane poetry to explore a world where God seems far away and individuals are relying on their own dark instincts. Souls are bought and sold as cheap commodities instead of saved. I gather that it's a nightmarish world that we're supposed to want to avoid, but you can take the allegory as you like it (only about 1/5 of this album's lyrics really make sense to me anyway). Amidst the musical twists and turns, there's quite a bit to explore and ponder here, and while none of it's outright disturbing, it definitely isn't for those who are squeamish in terms of wanting their music to be predictable or their lyrics to tell them the answers they already know.

Since I'm really bad at describing the genres that this band touches upon, I'll go for kind of an out-there sonic comparison. Take a more well-known "hard" band from the Christian scene, like Blindside. Now mix them with one of the more dissonant, genre-mish-mashing hard acts out there, like Beanbag for example, but minus the Rage Against the Machine-style rapping. (Oh, how I miss Beanbag.) Now throw in a dash of a poppier, but still highly edgy, band like Skillet, making sure to take away any electronic influences. Now have them all drop acid tablets. Kidding! Well-behaved Christian bands don't do that! Maybe dope them up on caffeine or something and deprive them of sleep for a few days just to see what sorts of weird things they hallucinate about. Then you might get He Is Legend's album I Am Hollywood, a brief but intense musical play in five acts devoted to the underbelly of life as a celebrity. Or something like that.

Act 1, Scene 1: The Seduction
I've been jumping over buildings, I've been sleeping in the street
"Mr. Jones" will be right with you if you would just have a seat
Well I'll meet you at the river where we both can clear our heads
I think we would look great dead...
A really fast guitar riff rips the silence wide open, and in no time we're introduced to Schuylar Croom, the lead voice of this crazy theatrical play, who wastes no time showing us what he's got as he manically jumps back and forth between screaming and death metal growling (you know, the kind that sounds like either a demon vomiting or Cookie Monster) against a tough and dizzying, but melodic, rock back drop. Actually, if you were to ignore the screams, this would be a fairly radio-friendly rock track on stations that didn't think all modern rock had to have sludgy tempos and sound like Creed. It definitely takes some getting used to, but the way the band turns on a dime, with drummer Steven Bache pounding and rattling his way through the song while guitarists McKenzie Bell and Adam Tanbouz trade off some slick riffs (the breakdown in the middle of the song is light-fast and pleasing to the ear in the most instantaneous of ways). While it's hard to make out all of the lyrics amidst the vocal hyperactivity, closer listening reveals a strange allegory based in part on Romeo and Juliet, in part on some sort of a strange apocalyptic scenario involving an evil general taking over the city, and in part on the game Super Mario Bros. No, I'm not kidding about that last part. (As if that wasn't enough in the utter insanity department, the band has filmed a video for this song that uses hand puppets to tell the story and sing/scream the lyrics. It's absolutely hysterical!)

Act 1, Scene 2: Eating a Book
I've got tickets to a show I know no one will be attending
And I think that you should go
I don't mind your complexion or the fact you are bleeding
It's just the way that it goes...
Man, that title always reminds me of an old Star Trek: The Next Generation Episode where Q taunts Worf by saying, "Eaten any good books lately?" Anyway, enough of my geekiness... This track has a slightly slower pace to it, which is still wonderfully syncopated due to Steven's brilliant drum fills. It gets a bit jerky in places, but that's easy to overlook when Schuylar starts to croon in a rather irritated voice about a monster in his room who he discusses movies with, and that also tries to eat him. Um, yeah. Don't ask me. Maybe the song's a commentary on the uber-elite that occupy the Hollywood movie scene - you know, the indier-than-thou types who think nothing popular is worthwhile and they're cooler than you for liking movies nobody's heard of. (The music scene has its analogous members, of course.) Schuylar gets in a few yelps, just little tidbits like "Yeah!", and sticks mostly to his slightly frustrated singing voice, until the fantastic bridge where his voice seems to loop over and over, angrily screaming, "I want to see you explode!" And just to show us that he's not taking all the angst seriously, he tacks on a fun-loving shout of "Baby!" right at the end. 'Cause you know, telling someone you'd like to see them blown to smithereens will go over so much better if you call them by a pet name.

Act 1, Scene 3: The Creature Walks (End Scene)
Could you call a doctor who could stop by at nine?
I had planned this day for dying, but now I'm feeling fine...
Bass player Matt Williams takes a more prominent role in this slightly groovy track, which finds Schuylar msuing about his lost angel in more of a heavy-hearted, breathy tone. Not surprisingly, the guitars start to chug a little harder and the band overall get s a bit louder by the time we get to the chorus, which once again feature some nice vocal echoing (either that or one of the guys is singing backup) repeatedly asserting "It's over" as he tries to send his "Message to the queen". There's an allusion to a baby that stops breathing in the chorus as well, which is mildly disturbing, but given the allegorical nature of the album, I take that as a sort of commentary on the loss of innocence. The song unexpectedly morphs into a total freak-out session in the middle, where the band jams in double time and Schuylar shrieks about killing his Saturdays and stuff. They even pull off a brief time change into 3/4 during this insane midsection, which come stripping back into the song's regular rhythm in a rather amusing fashion. It's funny how He Is Legend's songs can totally change character by the end and still come off sounding remarkably unified once you get used to them.

Act 2, Scene 1: The Greatest Actor Alive... (Enters Stage Right)
I left my mouth wide open
It reminds me of you choking
I never saw the horses when they lined beside your bed
I never saw the officers, but I heard what they said...
Another mid-tempo track (at least at first) comes bleeding in with the buzzing of guitars, as one of the guitarists plays a lamenting lead riff that is suddenly broken by a bass-heavy section of 3/4 followed by a faster verse in 4/4 time. Yeah, keeping up with the time signatures is going to be interesting as we get deeper into this album. Again we have a sense of someone being missing - a loved one or perhaps a daughter, someone who was stolen away by the charms of this unnamed monster we've been dealing with. The song is likely to be an exercise in whiplash - one minute, Schuylar has the audacity to insert a catchy little "doo doo, doo doo, doo" into the chorus, and the next minute, the band launches into hyperdrive as they run back through the 3/4 section from earlier, while he brings back more of the Cookie Monster stuff. He's desperate; he can't seem to breathe without this person around, but rather alarmingly, he imagines her choking as well.

Act 2, Scene 2: China White (End Scene)
You better buy a gun
Because I've seen them watching you
The old man and his son
They have been studying your moves...
At first, I got this song's comparatively relaxed intro confused with "The Creature Walks", but this one has a bit of tension that takes a bit longer to build, since Schuylar's words come at a more leisurely pace as he sings about flowers and guns and stuff. Again, there's this dichotomy - picking a flower for someone but also giving them an ominous warning about their death. The song gets more intense as it builds during the second verse and chorus, but then it dissolves into a gentle, ambient guitar interlude where the vocals are distant and the chords wash over the listener as the bass rumbles underneath, like a calm ocean that has a menacing undertow. It's not too much longer before Schuylar erupts into an angry cry of "I can't wait 'til I can sleep in late, maybe I'll miss you then, with no carnage and sin!" The song ends with him returning to his guttural growl and repeatedly grunting "I AM YOUR GARDENER!!!!!" If that's not a total "WTF?" moment, then I don't know what is - it's humorous and I can see how it connects to the flowers mentioned earlier, but at the same time it seems kind of random. He manages to belch out "OH NOOOO!!!!!" a few times before the song suddenly cuts off, effortlessly segueing into the next song (the way this album flows from track to track is nothing short of marvelous).

Act 3, Scene 1: ...Best in Mexico
I've been collecting stones that I think I'll throw at you
I can't forget your face, I'm sorry dear but that's my cue
I'll be the first to leave, and return with a ring
Just keep your ears open, and one day you might hear me sing...
Oh yeah. There's nothing like an edgy hardcore band thrashing away in an unorthodox time signature - He Is Legend's signature of choice appears to be 7/4 for part of this song., but then it settles into a more relaxed 6/8, or 3/4, depending on where the rhythmic emphasis is placed, I guess. (It kind of shifts around between the verse and chorus.) For some reason, this song reminds me of Skillet's "Fingernails", which is quite a frantic bit of thrashing in its own right, but this one might do it one better due to how the band handles the dizzying rhythmic shifts. The pre-chorus, where Schuylar hurriedly spits out, "Let out a sigh - pretend to die - you're gonna need an alibi!", seems to find the band playing in separate time signatures, since there's still that pattern of three but the drums appear to be playing a normal 2/4 or 4/4. I could analyze rhythms all day, I guess, but then there are the lyrics, which consist of such strange gems as "I'll feel much better after I take my maternal leave". Probably the best part of the song - and another mental reference back to Skillet - is the repeated shouting of "Lock me up, lock me up, lock me up, LOCK ME UP!" The first time that's done, the vocals are following a regular rhythm of one beat per word, but the rest of the band is going back through that cycle of seven, so they get out of synch and then come back together again. Later, the entire band follows the pattern of six, which leads to a thoroughly sweet and righteous guitar solo, which leads to more manic shrieking, which brings us abruptly to the end of one thrilling mid-album thrasher.

Act 3, Scene 2: The Walls Have Teeth (End Scene)
There has been one more victim
But I don't know his name
And the wolf has got a taste for bacon
But it's just a part of the game...
Phew! I don't know about you, but I need a breather. Well, I'll have to settle for a short section of ominous bass rumbling, shimmering guitars, and distant vocals that draw eerie parallels to the fable of Little Red Riding Hood, because the band's about to bring it on hot and heavy once the song gets going. Schuylar once again shows off his talent for turning on a dime from vocal crooning mode to his surprisingly convincing shriek, even If only one word actually gets shrieked before he goes back to singing. (Somehow, it's a lot less annoying here than when Chester Bennington does it.) While this isn't one of my favorite tracks due to the abrasive chorus in which Schuylar repeatedly growls, "WAAAAIIIITTT!!!!! THIS IS A COVER-UUUUUUUPPPP!!!!!", I have to admit that's kind of a fun, slow head-banging moment. He asks the desperate question, "Where is the warden, where is the wolf?" before breaking into another freak-out section of screaming and growling that is probably the most intense, adrenaline-pumping moment on the album, while the guitars bend and squeal like they do in some of Dream Theater's more experimental moments (or like little piggies, I guess). I don't really like the rhythmically disjointed way that the song ends, it sounds like the way a lot of classic rock bands drag out the end of songs in concert by flailing around on the guitar and drums for that bring-the-house down big finish. It just doesn't fit with the more mechanical and cold nature of the music.

Act 4, Scene 1: Do You Think I Am Pretty?
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
Then that's just my luck...
This song's kind of all over the map, starting off with some dirty-sounding but catchy riffage and launching into a faster-paced, pop-punkish sort of rhythm (though the drums are played much more quickly, with crazy fills all over the place, which isn't something you'd hear from most pop-punk bands). The chorus is ironically one of the catchiest on the album, with Schuylar crooning some of his sweetest notes as he tells us, "It seems too sad to call this home". But then he spews forth another insane growling section, right before the band shifts tempos and Schuylar laments being tricked into getting committed to a mental institution. "They never told me they were going to put me away", he pouts, right before the band launches into a soaring guitar solo that really reminds me of Dream Theater. I don't think James LaBrie could shriek like this dude, though - when he cries out, "I AM NOT!!! IN!!! SANE!!! I AM NOT!!! CRA!!! ZY!!!", I secretly have my doubts about that but realize I probably shouldn't verbalize them to his face. Just when this section starts to wind down, the band kicks back into the song's original tempo and brings it home with one last verse and chorus and a hearty scream for good measure. I like the more progressive tendencies, but at times this one can feel like two different songs sandwiched together.

Act 4, Scene 2: Dinner with a Gypsy (End Scene)
There has to be a closer country where love can live near me
I've got to find it because I'm not seeing clearly
There is someone knocking on my door, no one lives here anymore...
Man, oh man. I love this track. It's probably the oddball of the album, since it's the least harsh and most groove-inflected - I knew their bass player and guitarist for good, but man, hearing the neat little jam session with those funky bass lines just popping out at you and the guitar laying down a relaxed, vaguely Latin groove reminiscent of what P.O.D. might come up with if they actually developed one of their instrumental jams is just plain awesome. It's one of the least "hardcore" moments on the album, but you know what, I don't care, 'cause it shows the band's versatility. Hardcore fans, be not dismayed, this song manages a fluid transition into a much harder section midway through as Schuylar laments living in a place where there is apparently no love. Again, there's a theme of children not growing up (something that might have been referenced earlier by the baby not breathing) and an overall sense of being somewhere that we know we don't belong. The song ends up being the longest on the album, taking its time to wind down after the intensity that flares up from within its core. The sweet bass line and some neat improvisation on the guitar take us to an ultimately calm ending. I could sit and listen to the band jam like this for hours, even though I adore their harder-edged stuff too.

Finale: I Am Hollywood (Fin)
It's the "diamonds and the pills"
Leave my daughter alone!
It's the glamour that kills
"Dad, I'm not coming home..."
The album's title track, and closing number, is actually a little disappointing to me. I probably just haven't acquired a taste for it yet because it's a lot messier than most of the other tracks and it's almost all screaming. I've adjusted to the album by now, but this is probably the one point where the screaming still bugs me. It's kind of like how I felt about the title track on Blindside's About a Burning Fire at first, which I now love. Anyway, this might be the creepiest song on the disc since it's about the kidnapping of someone's daughter, a girl named Heather who leaves a mysterious note behind that says "He Is Legend". Definitely an unsettling way to end, but perhaps it serves as a reminder of the toll a place like Hollywood will take on a person's soul? Just a guess; I haven't quite unraveled the whole story yet. I like how there's a false ending about two minutes again, and then the band breaks back in with an excited "Yeah!" and several screams of the album's title before coming to another abrupt halt. And this time the beast is laid to rest for good - the album is over.

I don't know about you, but man, that was an intensely exciting 38 minutes for me. I keep going back to it over again, whether I need to rev myself up during a slow day at work (with headphones on - I don't want my co-workers to kill me, of course) or whether I just need something dark and ironic to kick-start me out of a funky mood. I Am Hollywood is more addictive than most hard rock albums tend to be for me, and if I had it my way, He Is Legend would be way more famous than P.O.D. or Chevelle or whatever hard bands that got their start in the Christian music scene are popular today.

But then again, you never now. The fame might just kill them anyway.

ALBUM WORTH:
The Seduction $1.50
Eating a Book $1.50
The Creature Walks $1.50
The Greatest Actor Alive $1
China White $1.50
...Best in Mexico $1.50
The Walls Have Teeth $1
Do You Think I Am Pretty? $1
Dinner with a Gypsy $2
I Am Hollywood $.50
TOTAL: $13

Band Members:
Schuylar Croom: Lead vocals
McKenzie Bell: Guitar
Adam Tanbouz: Guitar
Matt Williams: Bass
Steven Bache: Drums

Website: http://www.heislegend.com

Recommended: Yes

Great Music to Play While: Driving