Dearest, most talented Epica,

Let me start things off by saying something you guys probably hear 4,328 times a day... I am a big fan of yours. Many bands make symphonic metal music, but very few are equipped with a sound as unique as yours. And I know you don't want to hear about my problems, but I feel the need to tell you about them anyway: See, I've been making many trips to the doctor lately. Given that I don't exercise enough, constantly eat fast food, and guzzle Cokes like they're going out of style, it's easy to understand why I'm not as healthy as I should be. But this is an entirely different thing. I mean, I've really been feeling awful the last few weeks. Headaches, nausea, dizziness - you name it, and I've probably experienced it recently.

To top it all off, I'm struggling with other issues. I hope you don't get too creeped out by the fact that your songs have been coming to me in the middle of the night. Haunting me. I can't escape them. I hear five or six Epica songs mixed together in my head -- a medley, if you will -- and it awakes me from my already-suffering slumber. That's alright, though. It's actually the least of my problems. In fact, I kind of like it. I guess that's to be expected, considering that I love your music and all. Oops, I already said that. Allow me to extend my deepest apologies - I tend to get a little redundant when I'm sick.

Can I let you in on a little secret? I've spoken with several other Epica fans recently, and my opinion seems to be in the minority when I insist that your 2005 release Consign To Oblivion is your finest work so far. I doubt I'm going completely crazy, but I can almost swear that 6-7 Phantom Agony devotees have taken me off their MySpace Top 8 -- some even deleting me from their friends list entirely -- because I've expressed this opinion so passionately. That made me sad temporarily, but then I realized that such matters are totally trivial and I'll get over it soon enough.

In the meantime, I'd like to let you know exactly why I'm so crazy about Consign To Oblivion. First things first: Simone Simons, your vocal performance on this record is unmatchable. I know that listening to Nightwish's Oceanborn inspired you to start a singing career, but in my eyes, your voice outshines even Tarja. Oh, and to good ol' Mark Jansen, I was already quite aware of your incredible guitar skills, but your one-of-a-kind, downright brutal growls of rage have never impressed me quite as much as they do on this album.

One of the many things I like about Consign To Oblivion is the way it has mastered the art of deception and surprise to a tee. You guys go all melodic and Lord Of The Rings-ish on me in that lovely opening introduction, "Hunab K'u: A New Age Dawns Prologue". Then "Dance Of Fate" blasts off from out of nowhere to give even the most cynical listener a swift kick in the ass. The combination of freakishly speedy drumming and absolutely insane chanting choirs has never sounded this perfect, and anyone who can listen to this and honestly say that a heavier symphonic metal band exists has got to be even sicker than yours truly.

I have to single out the one and only Mr. Jeroen Simons for the phenomenal drumming in "The Last Crusade: A New Age Dawns #1". Jeroen, I can't help but wonder just how many cans of Red Bull you downed before recording this song, because to say the very least, you are all over the place in this song. Speed, precision, pure heaviness, and beauty...not a combination most drummers can pull off. Give yourself a pat on the back. And Mark, I see Simone handed over lyric-writing duties to you here - nice job, pal. The frantic chants in the song's introduction make me regret not taking Latin in high school, and I'll credit you for being the only person who's ever made me want to do that.

Simone, I thought Amy Lee of Evanescence was my one and only mindreader but apparently you've been taking a lengthy peek at my journals too. Normally, I'd be angry at someone who does that, but instead, I want to thank you as profusely as possible. I mean, how else could you have created a soaring ballad as beautiful and emotionally hard-hitting as "Solitary Ground"? You had to do a little research on your #1 fan, and I applaud the way you re-worded my deepest, darkest thoughts oh-so-eloquently. Very few songs have so accurately described the feeling of experiencing such helplessness and despair, all while still holding on to the faintest, slightest grain of hope.

I have no difficulties making the transition from the atmospheric, mellow sounds of "Solitary Ground" to the straightforward aggressiveness of "Blank Infinity" and "Force Of The Shore". And guys, it simply delighted me to hear the introduction of Mark's haunting roars in "Force Of The Shore," but I must admit I was a little surprised that it took six whole tracks to finally work him in somewhere. Don't worry, Mark, you REALLY make up for your absence shortly after the song's 2-minute mark -- you put so many black-metal and death-metal vocalists to shame with the unrelenting rage you showcase here. I must say that I get goosebumps every time I hear that crazy little tangent you go off on there. How weird is that?

Let's not even get started on my obsession with "Quietus" (what a cool song title, by the way). Simone, I knew voices could soar, but I think that yours actually leaps in this song. The chaotic violins are the perfect contrast to your warm vocal tone. But "Mother Of Light: A New Age Dawns #2" is definitely Consign To Oblivion's finest composition. It's just so wild and unpredictable -- as the song feverishly steers me around each sharp corner, I find myself shocked by what follows. This song blends together everything that makes Epica so grand in my eyes: Simone's beautiful wail, outrageously heavy guitars, the eerie chants of both male and female choirs, and Mark's zany growls and screeches.

Simone, I LOVED your guest appearance in Kamelot's "The Haunting (Somewhere In Time)", and since your voice worked so well with Kamelot mainman Roy Khan, it didn't surprise me the least bit to see that he lent his trademark vocals to your outstanding ballad "Trois Vierges". It is simply heavenly to hear you show off your more operatic side, Simone - and Roy sounds so gentle, yet so powerful and theatrical at the same time. Please work together yet again, because the combination is great. Consider the Sheila stamp of approval etched all over it.

Guys, the way you closed out Consign To Oblivion with the one-two-punch of "Another Me 'In Lack'ech'" and the epic masterpiece "Consign To Oblivion" stuns me every time. These songs are so energetic and ALIVE-sounding, so full of meaning, with just the right amount of heaviness and the right amount of melodic elements. "Another Me 'In Lack'ech'" is quite possibly the best song written about greed and its consequences that I've ever heard (except for Disturbed's "Avarice"...sorry). Mark, your purely GENIUS lyrical skills pop up once more: "If you search for enrichment / and injure others / Earning more than you can spend / you'll pass the borders!" And what can I possibly say about the sheer brutality of the title track? The suspenseful, faint drumming at the beginning led me to believe you guys were softening things up again - only to give way to some of the heaviest, most punishing Epica music to date.

Emptying out all this praise for you, Epica, has almost made my long-lasting headache go away. Perhaps I should submit a theory that Consign To Oblivion is a natural healer and that its raw beauty is not only astounding, but medicinal too. Perhaps I should listen to Consign To Oblivion EVERY time I have a headache, and recommend that others do so as well. But honestly, guys, I'll probably just take the route of half-normalcy and recommend this to anyone and everyone I know. It saddens me that you don't get the attention and credit you deserve, but my selfish side almost doesn't want you to, just so I can secretly treasure the fact that I'm one of few people who are fully aware of Epica's unbelievable abilities to create heavy, gorgeous, ambitious symphonic metal. Talk about bragging rights.

Respectfully,

Sheila

P.S. We Will Take You With Us still rocks me every time. Don't think I forgot about it or anything.

P.S.S. I know that neither you nor Kamelot control where you tour, but it'd be really, really incredible if you scheduled a Dallas date for that tour (which may or may not have already happened - my indifference results from the lack of a Dallas date). Must a girl beg?


:)



Recommended: Yes