blackstar40's Full Review: Greatest Hitz [PA] by Limp Bizkit
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
This is my fiftieth review on Epinions, something I had never expected to reach in just over two months. This hasty note is to humbly show my gratitude for all those who have ever read, rated and / or commented on any one of my reviews. Every time it helps my ability. Although there are many more I would like to thank, there are three members in particular I'd like to make a mention of here, as I believe they have been there and improved me from the start:
pduval69 noddy1 punkrockboi
From here, I will probably take a short hiatus from Epinions while I dispel any bouts of writer's block I may have contracted during my time so far, then return fresh for the next 50. Hope you enjoy my fiftieth review!
***
Fred Durst.
Make a list of all the things that come to mind when that name is mentioned by your unsuspecting next-door, teenage neighbor. Whether his infamous cellular sex vids, quick temper or many proteges pop up first, him and his actual band, Limp Bizkit, are always last on the priority list when it comes to this vindictive clown - and now they've released their Greatest Hits. No, thats a z. Cute.
All a 90s generation of angst-ridden adolescents really wanted was some attitude. And for a while back 'then,' it seemed short-sighted high-school reject Fred Durst would be just the guy to deal it out in spades. But times change, a fact the clan of Bizkit seem to have ignored until it was too late; as such, Greatest Hits is nothing more than the product of a band who knows they blew it, and thus have got to cash in on past successes while the opportunity still presents. Yet despite all the hot air propaganda and hype, a Greatest 'Hitz' from Limp Bizkit is like a would-be hard rock album by Coldplay - disjointed, irrelevant and, frankly, dated.
Agreed, it was cool and hip to dig spiteful nu-metal like this for a while there back in the 'heyday,' but we're already lightyears away from permitting 'rap metal' to rule our gentle planet ever again. The result is that the seventeen assembled here from four of their six albums churn out more choppy, immature rhymes and migraine-inducing riffs than any poor soul should possibly have to endure.
Actually, guitarist Wes Borland airs with a scattered backlash of punishing riffing patched here and there, but then again, the vocals always have to enter at some point - and enter they do, primarily with a high-pitched, cathartic yelp that upend the band's promise and cause. With all his scars, the insufferable Durst is scarcely more than an attention-seeking teen with a fluke celebrity status - 'My Generation,' from the band's mega-smash Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water, behaves like a narrow-minded rallying of his following splayed over two notes, and 'Eat You Alive' off the commercial flop Results May Vary portrays him as an innocent guy wanting only to go about 'sniffing those panties' - daily routine he'd like you to think. Elsewhere, he just flaunts his incredible lack of IQ with an almost funny trailing of inane hooks and repeated profanes to make up the sum - take 'What's that I didn't hear you / Shut the f*ck up' as an example from 'N 2Gether Now,' the line spanning the chorus like it's on automatic loop. At that stage, the outfit were collaborating with Method Man's persona, to lend their hits some of that coveted 'gangsta-rap' cred.
On and on it goes, including a set of the band's woeful cover attempts, the first a bang-crash NOOOOOOOOISE rendition of George Michael's 'Faith,' then onwards to the nefarious minor hit / Who cover 'Behind Blue Eyes,' in which the band plaster 'B-I-Z-K-I-T' across the bridge to try and claim it as their own and dumb down it's edges into tortured, self-deprecating ballad, and then, finally, a parody medley of Motley Crue's 'Home Sweet Home' and a disgraceful mockery of The Verve's 'Bittersweet Symphony' (what'd they ever do to you), all performed in some sort of ridiculous swoon like someone behind the wheel had way too much to drink.
Even worse is the ensuing catastrophes of their originals - laugh 'Nookie's' abominable phrases ('I did it all for the noookie (Come on) / So you could take that cookie / And stick it up your (yeah)') and chuggy synth toots off your shoulder, but tracks like 'Re-Arranged' and 'My Way' demand some more serious thought. In all honesty, the latter is a highlight of the disc, some DJ Lethal-engineered fuzzy electronic buzz suggesting industrial metal, while Durst sounds almost bearable with his usual trembling-lip demeanor, minus most of the falsetto shtick. 'Take A Look Around' is the band's sizzling last-minute contribution to the Mission: Impossible Soundtrack, unoriginal and unnecessarily nasal, whoring itself out for the ear-splitting rage sequencing of the chorus.
Finally, the new material... well, it'd be lying to say either of these two tracks really add anything 'definitive' to the Limp Bizkit collection, even though they both feature carefully-constructed melodic passages. Durst's singing voice displays the same teen-intended venom that's plagued them from the start, and even when he stretches his pipes to full maximum potential, he sounds far too much like others from the same old beaten track, another Three Days Grace or Breaking Benjamin. Who knows what could have happened if Limp Bizkit had decided to explore this certain vein over the course of another album, but it's not to be so, and it's ultimately too little too late for the future of such washed-up nu-metal.
Greatest Hitz is Fred Durst choking up his gallery of predictable, semi-forgotten tracks and screaming to us all 'F*ck you, world, we're getting this album out!' And, inevitably, the reply is one from world to crumbling misfit, 'Fred, we really don't care.' If you are or ever were a big fan of Bizkit ways and somehow end up with a copy of this in your hands, it may be fun to fly through the group's vacuous triumphs. Make sure you inhale it in small doses, though, if at all - besides the fact it's a more pleasant experience, it will save you from killer headaches the next day.
Track List [x indicates standout track]
1. Counterfeit
2. Faith
3. Nookie
4. Break Stuff
5. Re-Arranged
6. N 2Gether Now
7. Take A Look Around
8. My Generation
9. Rollin'
10. My Way [x]
11. Boiler
12. Eat You Alive
13. Behind Blue Eyes
14. Build A Bridge
15. Why
16. Lean On Me
17. Home Sweet Home / Bittersweet Symphony
Similar Artists: KoRn, Stone Sour, and Durst sounds uncannily like Eminem sometimes
Heavy: An excuse for it
Swearing: Yes
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