MattA75's Full Review: Get a Grip [Remaster] by Aerosmith
For my money, Aerosmith was one of the three or four best bands on earth in the 1970s. From their chunky, blues influenced guitar riffs, to the yowling vocals of Steven Tyler, to their perfectly put together ballads like Seasons of Wither, the band had it all. As drugs took hold, and original members took some time off, it became obvious that Aerosmith was no longer at the top of their game. Things began looking up though with 1987's Permanent Vacation, which spawned 3 massive hits, and with 1989's Pump, the band had created their best album since the mid 70s heyday.
Many people would like you to believe that 1993's Get a Grip was a continuation of Pump's excellence. I have long maintained that in reality, the album sucked. I even had an old review (like 4 years old) up on this site until today. I decided the Get a Grip (or as I like to call it, GAG) debate needed to end once and for all. So I did what any moronic, immature reviewer would do: I got back in touch with Beavis and Butthead. What follows is the results of our latest meeting...
Matt: What's up guys? Long time no see...
Beavis: Heheh, hey how's it goin?
Butthead: Beavis you bunghole, that's that fartknocker who made us listen to that Dashboard group that like, really sucked and stuff.
BE: Oh yeah, I remember now. That group reminded me of Stewart and stuff...all whiny and wussy. Heheheheheheh.
BU: Yeah, Stewart's a wuss, we could kick his a*s, huh huh uhuh huhuh.
M: Alright guys, I brought something more for you guys today. It's an Aerosmith record.
BE: YES, YES, Aerosmith kicks a*s!
BU: Yeah, Steven Tyler is cool cause he's got big lips, and uh, you know what they say about a guy with big lips, uh huhuh uhuhuh huhuh.
M: Mmmm, indeed. Anyway, the album is called Get a Grip. I want you guys to listen to it and tell me if it lives up to the Aerosmith brand name or not.
BE: Uhhhhh, what?
BU: Beavis you turd burglar, he wants us to tell him if it's cool or not.
BE: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeahhh, sorry bout that
M: Let's just start up the CD, ok guys?
I press play, and within a few seconds, Steven Tyler is rapping the Intro track
BU: What the hell is this crap?
BE: Yeah, like, I get all excited for Aerosmith, and this fartknocker plays Steven Tyler rapping...and it's like, what the hell happened, you guys used to be cool...
M: Sheesh guys, it IS only a 30 second intro track. See, the next song has already started, Eat the Rich.
BE: Yeah, yeah, eat the rich, and then I can get some money, and some cars, and then I can score with some hot chicks!
BU: No way Beavis, they'll be too busy being all over me, huhhuhuhuh, COME TO BUTTHEAD!
M: Don't you guys think it's slightly dumb that Aerosmith is talking about eating the rich when they themselves are millionaires many times over?
BE: Well, like, it's like this you see...like, Aerosmith has a lot of money and stuff, but they're cool, because they rock and they score with chicks!
BU: Yeah, Steven Tyler probably puts his lips to good use, huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhh...
BE: Uh, what?
M: So you guys actually LIKE this song?
BU: Uhhhh, well, it's not all THAT cool, but it doesn't suck.
M: I guess we'll agree to disagree on that then. It was released as a single and nearly tanked the album in terms of airplay and sales. Only Alicia Silverstone could save it.
BE: Oh yeah, I remember now...'I was cryin when I met you, now I'm tryin to forget you' Heheheheheh, yeahhhhhh! She was hot, you remember that chick Butthead?
BU: Uh, nooooooo.
BE: Come on Butthead, she was in all those Aerosmith videos, and then, like, she was like, in that Batman movie as Batgirl.
BU: Dammit Beavis, I was trying to forget about that movie...that movie sucked, huuhuhuhuhuhuhh.
M: Well, while you guys were arguing, you missed the title track. Not that you missed all that much. Just Steven Tyler trying to sound cool and just sounding like a big douchebag. Not to mention it just sounds like a bad rehash of Rag Doll. What's playing now is called Fever.
BE: Whoa, this song is cool.
BU: Yeah, Joe Perry rules.
M: Well, the sound of the song is pretty cool, although I think the lyrics are pretty lame.
A knock is heard at the door. Butthead gets up to get it, in walks Daria
BE: Di-a-rhea cha cha cha Di-a-rhea cha cha cha...
BU: What do you want Diarhea?
D: I came over to give you back this...(she holds up a dead raccoon)...I saw you guys put it on my front step...do me a favor and keep it, maybe you guys will get some weird disease from it or something and no longer bother those of us who have a life...
BE: Heheheheh, Di-a-rhea cha cha cha
D: Mmmm, well, I'll see you dopes in school on Monday. Try not to die before then, THAT would be a real shame.
BU: Hey Beavis, remember that time you put a dead raccoon on your head and called it your fur hat? Huhuhuhuh, you dumbass.
BE: Shut up Butthead, Lucky was cool. I wonder where he went...
BU: You dumbass, huhuhuhuhh
M: Alright guys, back to the album? You've missed the best song on here, the first single, Livin on the Edge...kind of a Janie's Got a Gun social concern anthem, but more vague. I suppose that since time is running short, we should move straight on to the 3 big ballads...(I move the CD ahead to Cryin)
BE: Whoa, this song like, kind of sucks when you don't have that hot chick to look at...
BU: Yeah, like, Steven Tyler sounds like a big wuss singing this song.
M: I think he sounds more like a neutered alleycat in heat, but that's just me.
BU: Huhuhuhuhuh, you said 'neutered.'
I move the CD ahead to Crazy
BU: Uhhhhhh, no.
BE: Come on fartknocker, you said you were gonna play the next song.
M: This IS the next song you pair of monkey spanks.
BU: Watch who you're calling a monkey spank, uh, monkey spank.
M: Well, I could call you two a pair of a*s ramming Uncle F*ckers...
BU: I'm gonna do something I should've done a long time ago, huhuhuhhuhuh, kick your a*s.
M: Calm down Butthead, you're gonna do nothing of the sort. What do you think of the song Crazy?
BU: I think it's a wuss song, something sort of like that wuss from Winger would write. Hey Beavis, that reminds me, I saw Stewart's mom's butt the other day...huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuuh
BE: NO WAY! NO FAIR! FARTKNOCKER!
M: So basically you think that Cryin and Crazy could be passed off as the same song. And besides that, they aren't very good in the first place?
BE: Yeah, something like that...come on Butthead, I know you didn't see her butt, I was with you the whole day and stuff...
BU: No you weren't Beavis, you were too busy taking a dump so I went out for a walk and all of a sudden, as I walked by like, Stewart's house, I saw his mom and she was naked and I saw her butt...huhuhuhuhuhuhuh...butt
M: Alright guys, this one's called Amazing...I actually think this one's really cool...good lyrics, unbelievable solo by Perry, just a really well put together song
BE: Yeah yeah yeah, whatever...come on Butthead, did you really see her butt?
BU: Yes Beavis you butt pirate, I told you I did...uhuhuhuhuhuhh, butt pirate
M: Alright guys, I'll take off now, you seem to be more interested in Stewart's mom's butt than this CD anyways...not that I can blame you...
Well, Get a Grip couldn't hold B&B's attention...I guess I shouldn't be surprised. When an album requires 16 year old jailbait to sell as many records as it did, that says something about the quality of the songs. As was pointed out in my convo with B&B, Crazy and Cryin sound really similar, and basically follow the same pattern that almost all Aero ballads have followed since 1987's Angel.
In addition to this, the rockers sound forced, almost like a parody of 1970s Aerosmith. And don't even get me started on Eat the Rich.
Beavis and Butthead seemed to like the album a bit more than me, so I'll relent and give it 2 stars. Anything more would be uncivilized.
Epinions.com periodically updates pricing and product information from third-party sources, so some information may be slightly out-of-date. You should confirm all information before relying on it.
![Get a Grip [Remaster] by Aerosmith](http://di1.shopping.com/images1/pi/2a/7b/83/2001987130-177x150-0-0.jpg)
- Add to My Yahoo!: 
- Add to Google Homepage: 
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.