“I’ve got a basic good and evil sensibility born. Good neighbor know a halo wouldn’t fit over the horns.” - Aesop Rock

Life is a strange mistress, a dichotomy of pain and love. One minute you’re sitting in a comfy chair watching Golden Girls, laughing at one of Blanche’s hilariously raunchy innuendo lines and the next BAM! Herpes! Or look at the movie “Pet Cemetery,” where during a content family picnic, Gage gets crushed by a truck. In 1990, the movie “Jacob’s Ladder” introduced the concept of heaven and hell coexisting on the same plane. In 1994, Richard D. James (Aphex Twin and countless other aliases) took the concept and made it into an aural masterpiece with “Selected Ambient Works Vol. II.”

This isn’t just a collection of singles pressed onto one album; it’s an experience. Don’t expect to just skip around. Every song has it’s own identity; James does a phenomenal job of mixing idyll melodies with abrasive industrial. That said, “Selected Ambient Works Vol. II” is extremely hard to review. There’s few, if any real instruments used, it’s composed of minimal moments of longevity, there are no intelligible vocals (spoken or sampled), none of the tracks have titles, and even if I knew the proper jargon of the techniques James used, it still probably wouldn’t do the music justice. Hell, I’ve yet to even see anything resembling an in-depth review of the bloody album. Since Ambient music is usually the means to recreate some kind of natural setting, I figured I would have a better chance of describing the music by jotting down what settings I believe the music creates. Trust me, as weird as some of these scenarios sound, they all accurately describe the sound of the songs on this sonic collage sounds.

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Disc One

1.) Children playing by a flowing stream. The most meditative moment on the album. 7:27

2.) The exorcism of a jack-in-the-box that refuses to come out (and never does). 6:34

3.) This is one of the purest songs I’ve ever heard. This is what I imagine would resonate from the pearly gates, minutes before St. Peter says “rejected” and pulls the lever. While there are other equally gentle moments, only one other manages to capture this form of sheer beauty. 7:44

4.) One of the meat-packing plants from Sinclair’s “The Jungle.” For those who haven’t read “The Jungle,” a long, narrow industrial corridor, with ghostly moans echoing off of the walls. 8:55

5.) A three year old hums in falsetto, from the inside of a four cylinder car with a leather interior, during a gentle downpour. 3:31

6.) Wind blows against an antique rocking chair locked in an attic, as an elderly woman with decrepit fingers plays the harp, while simultaneously a stillborn child strokes a baroque piano. 8:51

7.) A group of Rastifarians do some drugs and listen to the aforementioned child play the piano. 5:08

8.) Those same Rastifarians break dance and hammer away at the bongos, while playing Atari games. 6:54

9.) A searchlight scans an abandoned prison / a murderer hides in the foggy mist as they stalk a victim. 9:58

10.) Another group of people playing ring around the rosie around a burning building / Specters no more than five skip around a cemetery in the twilight / a freeze frame of those kids from the movie “Suicide Club” swinging their hands before leaping in front of the train. 7:18

11.) A band of cannibal munchkins from the land of Oz conspire to overthrow the kingdom, as some chimes echo in convoluted harmony through the night. 2:38

Disc Two

1.) A melodic soundscape version of the poem “Naming of Parts.” For those who haven’t read the poem, a soldier sulks as he stares dreamily out a window, watching a butterfly land on [insert your favorite flower here], as a drill instructor barks out the proper terminology of an M-4 Assault Rifle. The combination of lush rhythms and abrasive noises make this the tertiary finest moment on the album. 7:20

2.) A paralyzed mans stares uncontrollably at the ceiling of his hospital room. A church choir can be heard singing in the distance. 8:00

3.) A band of mafiosos walk down the streets of a city, a wailing oscillates at certain intervals with a growling dog / A cybernetic hooker walks down the streets of New York. The closest thing this album gets to catchy. 5:33

4.) Wind polluted by radio waves hisses by a mountaintop. The elderly woman from track 6 laughs demonically as the rocking chair grinds into the floor. The most evolving moment on the record. 4:45

5.) A three year-old girl laughs and plays with blocks. 2:05

6.) A tribal clan celebrates the arrival of an alien race. The clan play a flute and pound away at the drums, while the aliens play the music of their homeland. The two styles blend together seamlessly. 7:16

7.) A mother rocks her baby back and forth as she sings a lullaby. 5:57

8.) Nirvana, a moment of peaceful bliss encompassing the next few minutes of your life. Whatever your perfect scene is in life, it’s captured in this song. The most beauteous moment of “Selected Ambient Works Vol. II.” It’s also the last beauteous moment of “Selected Ambient Works Vol. II.” 4:15

9.) You’re locked in a trunk, inside the industrial corridor from Track 4 Disc 1, and can hear twisted voice whispering into the keyhole. You can feel the ghouls hovering over the chest, and the machines begin to grind aggressively in the background, but surprisingly neither overtake you. 7:09

10.) Shock therapy is performed on a mental patient. 7:30

11.) A tranquilized monkey snorts violently, and scrapes his paws against the concrete floor, as his organ-grinder continues to play music. A fly buzzes around his head, and spectators can be heard laughing in the distance. 11:27

12.) The sun lowers slowly into the horizon, as a stranger knocks at a stranger’s door. Life begins to take the shape of a surrealist painting as another choir sings a requiem in soprano. 5:39

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If you liked “Selected Ambient Works Vol. II” by Aphex Twin, try “Music Has The Right To Children” by Boards of Canada, or “Ambient” by Moby for more of the same. It also wouldn’t hurt to check out something by Autechre. “Muted” by alias is also a worthy addition, fusing Ambient Electronica with Hip-Hop beats. Also consider “Still” by Nine Inch Nails (if you can find a copy), a combination of baroque piano, acoustic industrial and ambient textures. If you liked the industrial leanings, check out “Last Rights” by Skinny Puppy. Imagine the darker moments of Selected amplified by a couple of decibels.

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The mind of Richard D. James is a turbulent Neverland, loaded with shapes, symbols, stars and murderous trolls. It’s a magical land, where good and evil break bread, sing songs by Ayumi Hamasaki and Alec Empire, and dance Dance DANCE the night away. Come for the funeral, stay for the pie.

Recommended: Yes