When you think of Sweden, what kinds of images leap to mind? Do you envision a socialist paradise of free love, maybe a bit cold, but overflowing with beautiful blondes and pristine scenery? I once bought into the illusion that the Swedes are a highly intelligent, well-mannered people who stay out of others' affairs and provide for their own. And then I found out about Bathory.

Sverige has produced lots of brilliant minds, including dpjohansen, Yngwie Malmsteen, Gustavus Adolphus, and at least three other people that are too obscure to mention. The Swedes seem to have recovered nicely from their violent adolescent period (known as "the Viking era" to most of the world) and left behind the ways of fire and steel. Why, then, would the place suddenly and inexplicably give rise to a darker-than-pitch musical genre that spilled over into neighboring Norway and produced a bunch of arsonists and murderers that make the Crips seem downright charitable?

Well, the answer seems to lie with a one man band called "Bathory" that came out in the early 80's. Inspired by Satanic metal masters Venom and fellow Nordic devil-enthusiasts Mercyful Fate, Bathory showed up to the party with a series of albums that, more than any other, set the stage for the weird and vicious trend known as Scandinavian black metal.

The man behind Bathory went by the moniker of Quorthon, and his real identity has been the subject of ceaseless speculation. Some insist that he was Thomas Forsberg, son of the owner of Black Mark, the label that released Bathory's albums. Others say not. We may never know, since Quorthon dropped dead from a heart attack last summer, in a Stockholm apartment that probably had much Satanic paraphernalia casually laying around. One thing that Quorthon's flat did not contain were pictures taken at Bathory shows, as Quorthon never gigged. If anybody tells you that he or she saw Bathory in concert, hit that person in the mouth and spit out "Filthy liar!"

The self-titled Bathory album came out in 1984, when metal was fast becoming a perfectly acceptable way of making a buck. Sweden undoubtedly had its own music scene, but I hope for the sake of normal Stockholmians that Quorthon was an anomaly. The music of Bathory is mostly fast, evil in atmosphere, and not likely to turn any woman on, unless she's a member of the Manson family or a neo-Nazi groupie clique. Quorthon's voice sounds like it could be coming from the throat of the sixteenth century Hungarian countess he named his project after. Happy stuff.

The very first song that one will hear on the very first Bathory album is "Hades", an avalanche of foreboding noise, with an intro designed to facilitate the shi*ting of pants. The wind ceases howling in time for a heavy Mercyful Fate-like guitar line to come buzzing in, accompanied as it is by a fast thrash beat and a seriously unpleasant voice that describes a place where the cold and darkness meet and sunlight never touched the ground. Could be describing Sweden itself, methinks. Somewhat similar to Megadeth or early Metallica, with a little more EVIL thrown into the mix.

For those of you not in the know, Elizabeth Bathory liked to bathe in the blood of murdered virgin girls, a crime for which she was bricked up alive within the walls of her spooky castle. Virgins receive a similarly pleasant treatment in Bathory's lyrics, where we're told that they need a good old-fashioned rapin'. We also learn that the smell of a dead woman's flesh drives Quorthon wild, which comes as a relief to me; I thought only I felt that way. He also likes "the sight of you down and open wide", and he sincerely hopes you have a genuine love for bleak thrash and demonic vocals.

"Necromansy" boasts a flimsier production than the first two tracks, and is more of a Maiden sleigh ride than a Motorhead panzer attack. This time around, virgins are forced to bend before "our horny lord". As for Quorthon, he'll just kick back, watch the proceedings, and enjoy the stench of rotten flesh and burning winds. There's even a solo of sorts that's a little out-of-key, but not too awful.

Motorhead and Mercyful Fate have a train wreck on "Sacrifice", where, yes, virgins die, the mother of Christ gets sexually violated, and the blood of victims mixes with rain. The fact that Venom's Kronos never sued Quorthon for ripping off his vocal style suggests that Satan makes his boys get along.

Yep, it's more thrash on "In Company With Satan". Quorthon boinks the pagan queen, someone rides a blood-stained goat, and virgins get the shaft again.

Quorthon's mastery of the English language is not apparent on "Armageddon", unless "despice" is really a word. This one makes me think of Slayer, who were also into tearing the flesh of those with hymens not yet broken. Mention is made of a hateful "brewage", but I'm not familiar with that beverage. The usual Satanic buffoonery is taking place: souls are getting tortured behind the seven gates, a virgin's womb is breeding a son of Hell, etc.

Again, I'm forced to think of Slayer, specifically "Season In The Abyss", which could have been a cleaned-up version of "Raise The Dead". This one's more straight-forward metal than thrash, but the subject matter remains infernal. Bells ring, hearts beat, and Quorthon delivers a sermon about a "black witch of beauty" and "all Hell's necromancers".

The premise behind "War" is "Heaven- you're finished". Quorthon's gonna get ya, God, so you better get prepared. Fast riff, thrashy beat, and a super-catchy chorus that goes "WARRR! WARRR!". It does NOT follow up those words with "what is it good for? Absolutely nothin!"

The mystery track is nothing more than a very brief, scary moaning sound.

Here is where it all started for the northern European black metal scene. Quorthon made something of a name for himself, and kicked off a sound that would spawn the likes of Emperor, Cradle Of Filth, Burzum, and other bands one ought not to mention in the company of God-fearin' folk. Whereas Celtic Frost had all the warmth of an Alpine castle owned by a sorcery-practicing knight, Bathory will make you feel like you're chained up in the dungeon of the witch herself. You can hear the knives being sharpened in an adjacent chamber, and the wicked laughs are not inspired by an episode of "Benny Hill".

It goes without saying that Bathory has a rather limited appeal. Out of the few people who like this genre, the majority would probably point to "Under The Sign Of The Black Mark" as Bathory's finest moment, though the truth is that none of this stuff sounds all that different from each other. It was imperative for Quorthon to scare the bejesus out of people, and that's what he set out to do. He arrived on the scene a little earlier than most, and for that he's considered an innovator amongst the fans of this admittedly narrow and freaky genre.

I can't really give five stars to any band that sounds like this, but its historical significance earns it no less than four. It does have an evil atmosphere, but one must be receptive to its black magic charm; otherwise, it will come across as awfully ridiculous. Quorthon later laid aside the Satanic trappings for a neo-Nordic fantasy world, but that will have to wait until we've killed off all the virgins.

Recommended: Yes