TheAnimalChin's Full Review: Boys Don't Cry by The Cure
So lissen, lil' chillren, and lemme tell you how ole' Grandpa first got into this whole music thang that pollutes his soul to this very day...yep, it was a long time ago, a long, long time ago...not a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away but you get my point, dontcha?
Yep, I was a wee lad then, a little runt in junior high...a hellion really, wearing my Cross Bones sweatshirt, skating on the week-ends and trying to look menacing in between. Yeah, it was a good time for me, and the nation as well, Parker Lewis couldn't lose, and A.C. Slater was saved by the bell...Still, I couldn't help feeling like something was missing, you know? I just didn't dig the music of the day, see? I mean, Fine Young Cannibals were good, but was the "Raw and the Cooked" the best they could do? Really? Probably not. You see, I was jonesing for something good, something I could really sink my teeth into musically...Stevie B? Nope. Michael Jackson? A couple years too late. New Kids? Please. (fer you young'ns, think N'Sync, but from Boston)
So I was confused, I tried to go respectable by joining the track team, you know, putting my mind to work at other things, but that was hopeless...I was still looking for the elusive buzz which would spur me to new and greater things...
Then it happened. I was hanging out on the bus one day, getting ready for an away meet when I met a man who would forever change my miserable life. A few years older, he was wearing a Misfits shirt and carrying a skateboard. Naturally, your dear old grandad struck up a conversation with the bloke, hoping to elicit his favorite skaters, skatewheels, stuff like that. He was nice, he told me he was a Cabellero man, and that was that. The bus started moving, and he motioned to put on his ear phones...Before he did, I asked him what he was listening to, in hopes of garnering a clue for my quest. He said the Cure, "Boys Don't Cry," and then started humming along to the first song...you know..."I thought I could laugh about it..."
So darned if your grandpa didn't persuade his mommy to tote his little behind to that great suburban mecca, the mall, the next day in order to procure said cassette. Yep, we wuz still in those days...So I put the tape in my walkman, pressed the "on" button, and was almost immediately transformed by what I heard, those opening chords to "Boys Don't Cry." I started to sweat, I felt anxious, I didn't know what to do. What's happening, I thought, what did I do? Then I realized kiddies, I dig that beat, I dig the sound! It was like a revelation! I loved that song! Suddenly I felt even more nervous, a thought hit me, what if the other songs sucked, what if this band could only put together one decent tune? Where would I be then, even more frustrated and confused because I had tasted the sweet fruit of rock and roll, I knew it existed, yet I still knew no where to find it? My stomach sank as I waited for the song to be over and the next to begin...
But wait, kiddies, I dug the next song too! And the song after that! Kiddies, this was a good tape, full of solid rock and roll! Yehah! I'd found my oasis, I had discovered my holy grail. I could get on with my life...
So I became a Cure fan, and I immersed myself in all things relating to the Cure, although I never dressed up like them, despite what that old codger Ben Folds once sang (yeah, that's another long story, kiddies, involving a very special place your Grandpa would discover a little later in life, called Chapel Hill). And I began to hear that people who liked the early Cure may like other bands, like U2, the Smiths or the Psychedelic Furs, so I listened to them kiddies, and I was sucked into a vortex so sick and twisted that I've been unable to escape. Yep, that's right to this very day, I've dug music of all sorts, from the Minor Threat to Slint, from Neil Young to Bedhead, I love it all. And I owe it all to that dude in the Misfits shirt and the Cure...So if you ever see him, thank him for me, alrighty?
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