This was actually going to be my submission for next month’s write-off, but I have since found a better movie to write about. Of course I had already come up with a structure to write about so why not write it up and submit it anyway.

My Shame

This movie came out in 1982 and was released shortly thereafter on video in 1983 I was 10 at the time and remember the commercials and also remember seeing it come out in the video store. Unfortunately my parents also saw the commercials and even though it was a movie with puppets they decided that the mystical nature of the film was not good for a young church going child to watch. Even when it came out on video my parents refused to rent it.

It was winter of 1984 when I was shopping with my mother at Ames that I saw the video on a shelf. Of course she would still not buy it so I took it upon myself to relieve the store of one copy. My one act of thievery would haunt me for quite a while after that. “Did the store see me and are they sending people after me?” was a frequent thought in my head.

Of course nothing ever happened because of it and I did watch the movie. It actually took me a month to get through the entire film since I had to watch it only when my parents were not around. My mother would go out into the yard and I would pop it into the VCR and watch it until she came back, all the while looking out the window to insure I wouldn’t be caught. When she did come back in I would eject the tape and hide it under the TV thus watching about 10 minutes at a time for about 3 weeks.

Along came Dec. 25th and Christmas was alive and well in my household. I unwrapped all my presents with the zest only a 10-year-old boy could. I came across one present that was shaped peculiarly like a videotape. I opened it up only to find a copy of, you guessed it, The Dark Crystal. You see the reason my parents wouldn’t rent it for me or buy me a copy was because they already had and they were waiting for Christmas to give it to me. Parents are the cruelest individuals on the face of the earth I swear.

If that little story doesn’t teach you anything I don’t know what will.

The Movie

When the movie was released in 1982 it did horrible in the theatres. Even the tape release shortly thereafter did little to boost the revenue.

Jim Henson’s Muppets were simply not enough to get movie goers to flock to the theatre. It is a shame because the movie has so much going for it. Even now the Muppet movies are not blockbusters in any sense of the word. The last movie Muppets in Space [which was actually quite entertaining] was a flop in theatres, but experienced decent rentals numbers.

Unfortunately the Muppet movies have moved from serious movie with a plot to silly slap stick movies, or remakes of classic books [Muppet Treasure Island]. While these movies are entertaining they are nothing like Jim Henson was producing before he died.

The Plot

1000 years ago the Dark Crystal cracked and with it 2 races of creatures were born. The Wise Mystics and the Evil vulture like Skesis. Each go there separate ways and live in somewhat piece.

Fast-forward 1000 years and the time of the Great Conjunction is nearing. This is the time where the 3 suns will align and the Skesis will become rulers for all eternity. When the Skesis and the Mystics emperor die at the same time [what happens to one must happen to the other] it is time to find the crystal shard and reunite it with the Dark Crystal. Thus stopping the Skesis and restoring piece to the world.

The one person who can perform this task is Jen a Gelfling [small hobbit type creature]. He is told that he must travel to Augra [a wise cracking witch who can remove her eyes to look around] and get the crystal shard and then travel to the heart of the Skesis empire where the Dark Crystal waits for him. While he is visiting Augra they are attacked by the Garfin, large beetle like creatures controlled by the Skesis’s. Jen barely escapes with the crystal and runs smack into the swamplands. Lost for who knows how long he finally meets up with Kira another Gelfling, and her pet furrball Fizzgig. Jen is beyond happy since he thought he was the only Gelfling left.

She invites him back to her home to rest up and to tell his story. Kira lives with the innocent Podlings who unfortunately are slaves of the Skesis. You see Podlings can be hooked up to machines that suck out their life essence, which the Skesis can then drink to restore their youth. Another attack by the Garfin force Kia and Jen to run away and continue the quest to return the shard to the Dark Crystal before the suns align.

My Thoughts

The movie is probably unlike any other Muppet movie you will ever watch. It is dark, violent [in a Muppet sort of way] and it has a great storyline. Is it for children, sure it is. Although there are scenes of violence it is done in a cartoonish, Muppetish [not a word but you get the point] manner. Some smaller children might be a bit scared by the Skesis since they are vulture like lizards, but other than that it is simply a fanciful tale.

One thing you expect to see in a Muppet movie is the jerky movement that Muppets tend to exhibit. Not in this movie, the way the strings were hidden and the way the characters moved was nothing short of amazing for the time. Just watching Jen play the flute was amazing. The animals they rode on [Land Striders, look like giant rabbits] moved very smoothly and without the jerky movement usually associated with puppets.

Another great aspect was the sets. Because it is Muppets and not live actors the sets can be much more elaborate, and that’s exactly what you get. The villages and even the swamp are extremely detailed right down to the strange furniture the Mystics sat in.

Even the acting [if there is such a thing in a Muppet movie] was great. The chemistry between Jen and Kira is perfect. Other characters like Augra bring lots of life and humor to the story. Even the evil Skesis are perfect with their lisps and their mannerisms.

The guys running Henson Studios should take a hard look at the things that made the Muppets famous and go back to their roots.

If you haven’t seen this movie I highly recommend you do. It doesn’t matter how old you are you will almost surely enjoy it. Even when I rented it the other night the guy who runs the video place looked at it and said he would have to rent it after I brought it back.


Recommended:
Yes

Viewing Format: VHS
Video Occasion: Good for a Rainy Day
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children up Ages 8
Special Effects: Well at least you can't see the strings