Cons: Horrible script, bad effects, bad acting, no laughs or scares.
The Bottom Line: Sexploitation rip off of "The Exorcist" that I only remembered because of its stupid box cover that is clearly taken from "Rocky Horror." Worthless on all accounts.
caligula79's Full Review: Eerie Midnight Horror Show
I never actually expected this movie to be any good at all, but for some reason I've waited years to see this thing. It all started when I was still in school, and I would often ride my bike down to the local video store to pick out whatever had a pretty interesting picture on the box cover. But the box cover for this movie really captured my attention simply because of how ignorant and stupid, and, well, corrupt it was. The box cover was huge, obviously dating back to when all VHS tapes were sold in what is now simply referred to as the "porno box." The photo on the box was a cartoon hand getting pierced with a spike, but right above that, in a red bloody font, graced the title "The Eerie Midnight Horror Show." That font looked obviously familiar, as did a few of the words, or generally the mere aroma of the title. But then, as if I really needed to point this out, right above the title were those red lips and that pouty frown, with some blood dripping from it, completely taken from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."
There's no way in hell this movie would ever be any good, and it wasn't like I stood there with my buddy, looking at the box cover and saying "wow, that looks good, we need to see that," but for some reason I always did want to see it, basically because the box cover made me laugh. If the box makes me laugh, then surely other people will laugh at the fact that I would rent the thing. It was simply hysterical that they would go to some half assed lengths to rip off a box cover when the movie is absolutely nothing like the source movie the advertisers are getting their hints from.
Only one thing though. I never did actually rent it. It was one of those lonely movies that always sat in the video store, only the tape was always missing. It wasn't like people just kept on renting the thing, because I always went to this video store, and it eventually came clear to me that someone just plain kept this tape. I highly doubt they kept it because their sheer love for it caused them to sacrifice their video store membership. Plus it's not like they had that box cover to go along with it. Either they lost the movie, or they watched about half of it then burned it before resorting to carving their eyeballs out with a wooden splinter.
Very recently I was walking through a local pawn shop when I noticed what I had not seen since the last time I killed an afternoon in that video store. I saw "The Eerie Midnight Horror Show" sitting on the cheap $4 DVD rack. I was slightly disappointed because that completely ridiculous box cover was now replaced by some stupid shot of flames mixed in with the lead actress looking only slightly frightened. After doing a little bit of researching, it turns out that if you want that old box cover, you can only get it on the VHS copy. They have retired it for the DVD release, and as far as I'm concerned, they might as well not have released the thing at all if they're not going to give it that stupid cover. But this is a movie that I always wanted to see for the poorest of reasons, so nothing stopped me from shelving out the $4 to buy it.
Was the movie any good? What are you kidding me, of course it wasn't any good. But I don't feel that I was ripped off for buying it. I never expected it to be any good, so why should I be angry. I always knew that this thing would be a movie so bad that they would not only have to rip of the title from another movie, but also that other movie's box cover. It isn't even the first time that was done with this movie. One of the alternate titles to the film is "The Sexorcist," which is actually a little bit more appropriate for the movie than "The Eerie Midnight Horror Show." "Eerie Midnight" suggests some high camp. The movie isn't even the least bit campy, it's just a soft core rip off of "The Exorcist," and quite possibly the worst of all the "Exorcist" rip offs that circulated around this time, or any other time for that matter. It makes "Exorcist II" look like "Beyond the Door," and I kind of liked "Beyond the Door."
I had absolutely no idea what this movie was going to be about until I read the back of the box after I bought the DVD, and truth be told, it was the only moment where I thought that maybe it won't be quite so god awful. After describing the moronic plot, the description had the audasity to mention that the movie is Based on a True Story. Now that just made me laugh. I thought that there is no possible way that they could expect me to believe that, so I figured the movie would be some self aware funny crapola. Even the opening title sequence claims that it is a true story. Then while watching the movie, it became clearly aware to me that this movie actually does think that the viewer should believe that this is a true story. It doesn't try to be clever, it doesn't try to be smart, or even funny, it just gives us this completely inane demonic possession story that we're supposed to think is real. It's a truly awful film in the worst way: the makers of it don't even know that it's an awful film.
The opening credit sequence is obviously put together not by the filmmakers, but the company that released it on video, ie something like "Pod People," with the exception that the opening credits to this movie actually show clips of the film we're about to watch. One thing though, I hardly ever trust a film that shows clips of later scenes during the opening credits. It's like they're still convincing me to watch the thing. The film is about a beautiful art student named Danila (Playboy Playmate Stella Carnacina) who is put in the presence of a weird religious icon, which is a life size muddy human figure nailed to a cross. You know something is not quite right with this icon because it is clearly an actor covered in mud. While working late, Danila passes out and has a brutal dream sequence in which this religious icon not only has powers, but is none other than Satan himself (played by Ivan Rassimov of "Eaten Alive").
In this dream, Danila is made love to by the prince of darkness and later nailed onto a cross. So of course, when you have a dream like that one, it means that in the real world, after waking up, you are possessed by the almighty Lucifer. Danila shows signs of the stigmata, and it isn't until she begins to beg her father to make sweet love to her, that her parents decide that she needs a little bit of help. Her stigmata wounds come and go, up until she receives more dreams and visions where she is sexually teased by the devil. That's really all the devil does in this film. He isn't using Danila to carry his child, and Danila never really does anything to suggest that she will take over the world, so it's almost like Danila is being used as some sort of demonic puppet show, making the devil more of a school yard bully. This is a film where the devil clearly has a lot of spare time on his hands. Atleast he didn't waste it by watching a movie like "The Eerie Midnight Horror Show."
But all of that would be fine if the movie atleast had the courage to make fun of itself, or atleast be a little bit entertaining and graphic. It isn't any of those things, it's just a completely worthless "Exorcist" rip off. The movie barely has any material to stretch it out to a full length film, which is completely obvious when we have the scenes of marital drama between Danila's parents. Danila's father is suspicious of the mother, believing that she is cheating on him with a casanova played by a Laura Gemser-less Gabriele Tinti. There's this completely idiotic sex scene where the mother is thrown naked onto a bed, with Tinti whipping her with thorn ridden roses. The father becomes even more suspicious when he sees the scars on the woman's chest. I don't even want to begin talking about the scene where a priest removes his shirt and bullwhips himself for no reason whatsoever.
Even the scenes of the possessed Danila are so incredibly laughable that if the makers intended these scenes to be funny, the rest of the movie would have filled with something other than trite. The possessed Danila is made to look evil simply by putting some dark make-up under the eyes and also placing some specks of mud all around her lips. She also yells a lot and runs around the room, but every other character in this movie is way too stupid to keep this woman even the least bit restrained. She is taken to a nut house where she is simply placed in a room, causing her to jump out the window and freely escape into the town. When she is recaptured, she still isn't restrained, they just put her in a room that doesn't have a window in it. How did she get to this nut house the first time around? Her parents drove her, while Danila sits in the back seat, not even wearing a seatbelt. She looked pretty mad, but that was probably because she forgot to yell out "shotgun."
Naturally, the parents figure that only a priest can cure Danila of her possession, and that priest is none other than Luigi Pistilli. You may not recognize the name, but he played Eli Wallach's pastoral brother in "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly," meaning that he has played a priest in both a great film and a worthless film. The exorcism comes underway when Danila just happens to randomly wander into the church, and the scene is basically made up of Danila yelling and flailing her arms around, while the priest holds a crucifix in front of him and repeats his chants over and over again. You'd think that with the power of Satan, Danila may be smart enough to simply leave the church, since it isn't like she was tied to a bed or anything. Which brings me to another point. In a movie that is a sexploitation rip off of "The Exorcist," I am rather surprised no one was ever tied to a bed.
Whether or not you get this movie at a pawn shop, the thing still only runs about 4-6 dollars (there are no extras on the DVD), but my suggestion is to buy this movie with that ancient and preposterous box cover. Or you could just not watch this movie at all, but I do say beware, because once you see this box cover in all its rip off glory, there will be some minor part of you that kind of wants to check out "The Eerie Midnight Horror Show," no matter how much you deny it. Atleast that's what happened to me. The people who made the advertising for the video release may be completely unoriginal hacks, but they managed to convince me to watch schlock. And not even the good kind of schlock either.
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