Hola mi seasick amigos, and welcome to the Chinaman's review of Jaws that’s part of the Jaws 25th Anniversary Write-off. Asked here by Captain Mike_Bracken, to join him and his fellow cannibal homeboys aboard The Orca, I am here to give you an un-unique review of the best film to ever have a great white as its villain.

Once you’re done reading my review and leaving a comment on how much I suck at writing, check out far superior reviews of Jaws by Mike_Bracken, Wokelstein, ZentropaJK, Psychovant, Amyrok, Lighthouse, Energy81, That-Guy, Knix, FDKnight, Lambira, , Fiatgirl, SqueebinatorX, Mangiotto, Memento-Mori, RFR, Megasoul, Janesbit1, Sleestakk, Grouch, JAPrufrock, and Shadow8.

There is a creature alive today who survived millions of years of evolution…without change, without passion and without logic. It lives to kill…a mindless eating machine. It will attack and devour…Anything. It is as if God created the Devil…and gave him…Jaws.

None of man’s fantasies of evil…can compare with the reality of Jaws.

- The “Jaws” trailer

No other film has ever used a fish’s body part to incite fear in the human psyche to greater effect than Jaws did with the dorsal fin. No other film has inspired as many evil aquatic creature features, from it's three sequels to it's countless knock offs such as Joe Dante’s Pirahna, Steve Miner’s Lake Placid, and Renny Harlin’s Deep Blue Sea, as Jaws has. Jaws is a film that’s terror is worthy of the cliché, "often imitated, never duplicated."

The 25-year-old film that was the first blockbuster ever changed the face of horror cinema. Jaws dud for the beach what Psycho did for showers. There’s little that can be added about Spielberg’s adaptation of Peter Benchley’s novel. However, a futile shot will be taken anyway.

Aside from Herrmann's jarring strings that accompanied the shower scene in Psycho, no other piece of music is as instantly recognizable as the two-note (E and F) “da-dum” cello and bass chords of John Williams’ now legendary Jaws score. The Oscar-winning music that opens the film has been parodied in over 50 different films and TV series. From Kevin Smith’s New Jersey trilogy to Swingers, those ominous first few bars are something that people always identify the sharks in the Amity Island water with.

Jaws opens with a party on the beach. Teens are laughing, drinking, having a good time. Two of them, a drunk and horny guy and a girl he just met, decide to go swimming. Since she’s sober, she runs towards the water, practically ditching the guy, all the while stripping down to her bare assets. Chrissie goes into the deep blue sea alone while our drunken amigo is passed out on the shore. Needless to say, she and our heterosexual friend don’t end up doing the hippity dippity. Something is in the waters.

Martin Brody (Roy Scheider), Chief of the Amity P.D. to the investigation. According to the report, a shark has gotten the munchies and has chosen the delectable Amity Island public to satisfy them. Brody comes up with a plan to close the beach. However, Mayor Larry Vaughn (Murray Hamilton) balks at the idea because this summer town needs summer dollars.

So Brody watches the waters. He nervously watches the people, wondering if any will fall victim to the great white anytime soon. A young couple, an overweight middle-aged woman, a boy, his dog, and a group of boy scouts all remain in the waters oblivious to the previous night’s incidents. The camera cuts to each of them leaving the viewer wondering which will become the carnivorous fish’s next meal. The tension becomes unbearable as the camera cuts to a number of false alarms. The “da-dum” starts up again. The little boy, Alex Kintner (Jeffrey Voorhees), goes under. The waters turn red.

A $3000 bounty placed upon the head of our misunderstood villain and a second corpse surfaces. Our Captain Ahab, Quint (Robert Shaw), enters the picture and offers to kill this shark alone for ten grand. Brody takes the offer under consideration and the beach is closed for 24 hours.

Enter know-it-all ichthyologist Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) upon Brody's request. The two get acquainted and do an autopsy on Chrissie. That night, they realize they’re dealing with more than just a regular shark.

Since the mayor believes in business before safety, however, the beach stays open and our hungry ocean-dweller gets fed yet another piece of human flesh. Tragedy forces the mayor to give in and Quint is hired with Hooper and Brody tagging along.

Truth be told, our latex, steel, and rubber shark does look a bit fake in the close-ups. Spielberg himself said he didn’t look real or scary enough. What’s more, he isn’t even seen until after the first hour. The fact that the shark isn’t seen though, is what makes him so formidable. There’s nothing scarier than the unknown.

Hence, the film’s most frightening scene doesn’t involve the shark. As The Blair Witch Project proved, there is little more horrifying than what one can conjure up in their imagination. Quint’s monologue about the USS Indianapolis is a chilling example of this.

Robert Shaw tells the tale quietly, in an almost jaded manner. In the screenplay, the monologue was less than a page long. Shaw lingers on every word to keep viewers compelled. This tale gives us insight into the character of Quint, the reasoning behind the man's need to catch this great white.

One could argue that some of the characters aren't the brightest or that they’re all rip offs from previous works. There are also obvious plot holes such as the fate of the third victim. However, whatever one could have against this film is too inconsequential. Spielberg pioneered the summer blockbuster. One need only look back to The Perfect Storm to see its longlasting effect. Jaws has stood the test of time and still has bite.

- © 2002 by Donlee Brussel

Recommended: Yes