When you're pushing out the second sequel to a movie that was never even meant to have one, you better find a way to make your sequel something special. It has to fit in with the 2 previous movies, but somehow distinguish itself from the series at the same time. Like the closure offered in Return of the Jedi or the new directions taken as in Back to the Future 3. So by a sequel 'distinguishing itself', it's safe to assume I'm not talking about a switch to a 3-D MOVIE!
What was with the early eighties? What genius thought that 3-D needed to make a comeback? Amityville 3-D, Friday the 13th Part 3-D, Demi Moore in Parasite in 3-D! I challenge you to find a bigger pile of cinematic slop than the early eighties 3-D revival. And I haven't even mentioned Treasures of the Four Crowns, Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, or the aptly titled Comin' At Ya! Yep, it was a scary time to go to the movies in 1983.
So we have a convergence. Universal wants a new Jaws movie. 3-D is all of a sudden back in style. You do the math. For director, they insisted on the best. They got Joe Alves. Joe had been a production designer for both Jaws AND Jaws 2! It was his first directorial effort. He has yet to direct another movie. They needed a solid screenwriter. They got Carl Gottlieb. Carl had co-written Jaws 2 and also wrote the screenplay for Caveman, which is a script notable in that it is comprised solely of grunts and nonsense babbling. Carl hasn't written a script since Jaws 3-D.
They needed a cast. They got Dennis Quaid, who was young and obviously didn't know better than to star in a movie with 3-D in the title. (Dennis would star in The Right Stuff later the same year, and would later refer to this movie as "I was in Jaws what?") Bess Armstrong plays his girl, and she's as bland here as she was with Tom Selleck in High Road to China and with Tom Hanks in Nothing in Common.
Lou Gossett Jr. is on hand, as he was for any movies that offered a paycheck back in the 80's. Heck, he was all all FOURIron Eagle movies. Let's say just say he was not picky about his scripts. Lea Thompson shows up for a bit, but I've always had a little crush on Lea, from movies like Some Kind of Wonderful and Red Dawn. So I'll take it easy on her. It was her first movie! Plus, Lea was in Howard the Duck, so her life has been difficult enough.
We all know how the original Jaws went: Shark happened to show up in a populated area and a brilliant movie was the result. When they made the first sequel, trying to erase the whole concept of the incredible coincidence of the whole situation was tackled. Jaws 2 was pretty silly and of course doesn't hold a candle to the original, but I can recommend that movie as mindless fun.
But Jaws 3.
Look, it's just awful. This time, there's a shark trapped somewhere in a Sea World type-aquarium park, and the shoddy script attempts to extract some suspense from that. Considering that people don't really swim in parks like these, the whole concept of scaring the average moviegoer is pretty much shot. But even that is giving the script more credit than it deserves. To be completely fair, there is a fair amount of carnage, as when the shark attacks a bunch of those annoying water-skiing pyramid-girls.
This movie introduced the concept of a shark 'getting even' with man. Oh, and it introduced 3-D shots of fake looking sharks and dismembered arms floating right into your popcorn. Fun.
Pity me. I saw this in the theaters when I was 12, and the experience has never left me.
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