At a social gathering recently, I spent some time wandering the room and polling my fellow attendees about their opinion on what could possibly be the worst or most ridiculous "modern day" remake of a classic film. Most refused to commit themselves to any film at all, or even acknowledge my repeated questions, leading me to believe it was a sensitive topic to discuss in mixed company. Eventually I was escorted out of the chapel, and was told not to return until the funeral was over, which gave me time to sit in the snow at the foot of the chapel steps and think about this topic myself.

The 1976 remake of the classic film King Kong was directed by John Guillermin and produced by Dino De Laurentiis, both of whom should've known better. The basic plot is the same as it ever was.... jungle explorers and comely wench attract giant ape and take it back to New York...ape escapes and hunts down comely wench for a little ah... monkeying around, comely wench alternately screams, faints, or falls in love with giant ape, depending upon the hormonal level of the moment, or something. Ape gets attacked by planes, trains, and automobiles, ape dies, wench cries.

It's rare that I find a black-and-white stop-motion animated original film to be vastly superior to its modern remake, but I certainly did this time. The weak plot can't hold up, and the special effects and budget left me very underwhelmed. Aside from the zipper in the ape suit in some scenes,the giant gorilla was actually almost adequate...and I do have to applaud the giant mechanical Ape Hand...which deserves the highest honors in the entire film.

Jessica Lange's modern interpretation of the comely wench character first portrayed by Faye Ray is at best weak, and at worst, embarrassing. I suspect John Guillermin and Dino De Laurentiis approved the final product while under the influence of heavy doses of cough syrup. Jeff Bridges is eminently forgettable in this film...in fact, I can't remember a single line.

In short, King Kong survives best in the original 1933 version. The 1976 remake, or "King Kong Lite" as I call it... should've stayed on the cutting room floor. Something definitely smells... and it isn't the sweet scent of bananas.

Yours until Godzilla meets Lassie....
- Hugh U. Kidden


Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older