For y 100th review, I decided to go for a movie, seeing as that is what the majority of my reviews here have been. With that decided, I had to choose what movie. And what better than the first movie I ever witnessed in a cinema. But then I realised that this choice would be a dilemma, seeing as no one can remember if the Jungle Book or this was the first movie. But seeing as I haven’t seen the Jungle Book in years, a fact that has left me disgusted with myself, I opted for Masters of the Universe. Seeing as this was released in 87, that would make me two. Wow.


Seeing as there is a new Animated series, no one has any excuse for not knowing what Masters is, but I will give a brief history anyhow.
In the 80s, the cartoon ‘He-Man and the Masters of the Universe’ was created as what was essentially half hour advertisements for Mattel’s MOTU toy line. The cartoon, which followed Prince Adam, who, by lifting his sword skywards and shouting “I HAVE THE POWER!!” could transform into the strongest man in the Universe, He Man. the cartoon followed him and his numerous allies in their battles with the nefarious Skeletor. When watched nowadays, the cartoon is incredibly camp, but when you were 5 it was the be all, end all of awesome. Naturally, a movie was commissioned, and was to star Dolph Lundgren, fresh out of Rocky IV.

The movie opens as the evil Skeletor (Frank Langella – The Wrath of God) has taken control of the mystical land of Eternia’s last great icon of freedom, the Castle Greyskull and in the process captured the Sorceress (Christina Pickles -The Wedding Singer). The only threat to his power comes in the form of He-Man (Lundgren) and his allies Duncan aka Man-at-Arms (Jon Cypher – Food of the Gods) and his daughter Teela (Chelsea Field – The Last Boyscout). They rescue the dwarf-like creature Gwildor (Billy Barty – Willow) from Skeletor’s soldiers, and discover that Skeletor has gained control of ‘the Cosmic Key’, a device that Gwildor had created to travel through dimensions. But Gwildor has another Key, which he uses to transport them into Castle Grayskull. After seeing the sorceress, upon her instructions the group flee to a random place and time in the universe after Skeletor’s troops attack.

It is at this point we are taken to 1980’s Earth, where we meet the two Earth-based protagonists Kevin (Robert Duncan McNeill – TV’s Star Trek Voyager) and Julie (Courtney Cox – TV’s Friends). Kevin is in a band, and Julie is his girlfriend who lost both her parents in a plain crash. She is in the process of quitting her job, but the two’s lives are thrown into chaos when Kevin finds the Cosmic key, which went AWOL when the Eternian’s came through the portal to Earth. You see, Skeletor has been tracking them, and he dispatches 4 bounty hunters to track down the key, and He-Man with it. These are Beastman(Tony Carroll – Hercules in New York), a hulking humanoid monster, Saurod (Pons Maar – the Golden Child), a cybernetic reptile thing, Blade (Anthony DeLongis – Cyber Tracker 2) a bald pirate and Karg(Robert Towers – Einstein’s Playground) which can only be described as Iron Maiden mascot Eddie in drag.
Anyway, these four can only trace the key, so soon find Julie, and all hell breaks loose. But He-Man follows the trail of carnage for a battle with Skeletor’s minions. Kevin went away for a bit, and returns to find the hall he left Julie in to be in some state, and the janitor badly injured. You see, he took the key to see his friend in a music store, believing it was some kind of Japanese Synth (no wonder his band weren’t famous). This is also where we are introduced to Detective Lubic (James Tolkan – Back to the Future) Lubic is naturally puzzled about what happened to Julie, and believes Kevin has something to do with it. He confiscates the key,after searching Julie’s house and leaves just before Skeletor’s minions, led by Evil Lynn (Meg Foster – the Osterman Weekend) arrive and beat up Kevin, before putting a collar on him that makes him tell the truth. Karg also finds a box of newspaper clippings on the death of Julie’s parents…

It isn’t long before He-Man and co., led by Julie arrive at the house and free Kevin of the collar. The group then set off in a pink Cadillac Gwildor has souped up to Charlie’s music store, where Lubic was headed to see if Kevin’s story fits.

When they reach the store, it isn’t long before Skeletor’s minions arrive to cause trouble, and in the ensuing shootout all of the Earth folks and Gwildor hide in the back room while he tries to find out the code to return to Eternia. But Evil Lynn tricks Julie into giving her the key, by disguising herself as her mum. And what follows leads to Julie being infected by Skeletor’s magic, He-Man forced to surrender and the others left on Earth with no means of returning home.

All appears lost until Kevin and Gwildor come up with a device using a keyboard to get to Eternia, the portal sucks not only them, but Lubic who was about to arrest them, and a small piece of a public park right into Castle Greyskull’s throne room, and just in time, Skeletor has just harnessed the power of the Universe, so He-Man is gonna need all the help he can get…

Despite following the story of the cartoon very loosely, and resembling Star Wars with a dash of Conan more than anything else, I cannot help but love Masters of the Universe. While it cannot be taken remotely seriously, and is nothing more than the old Good vs. Evil story, its just handled with such class that I feel required to give it such a high score.

The acting in the movie is good enough, there are no deep characters so the likes of Pacino and De Niro weren’t exactly required.
Dolph is in his element as He-Man, and to be perfectly honest, no other human could actually play He-Man better than Dolph. He just has the perfect look that no other person I can name even comes close to having for the role. The fact that he is not required to do all that much talking, and just fight evil also helps, but there is no denying that no one could swing the power sword better.
Langella totally hams it up as Skeletor, yet somehow still comes across as 100 times more menacing than the dictionary definition of camp that was the cartoon Skeletor, and he seems to be enjoying himself playing at being Darth Vader.
Legendary little actor Billy Barty starts off as mildly annoying in his role, but it doesn’t take long to warm to him.
Courtney Cox is very young, and does decent enough, although I wouldn’t pay her current asking price for a performance like this.
Tolkan steals the show as the cop caught up in circumstances he cant even begin to understand.

The music is provided by Bill Conti, and is a sweeping score with a Heroic theme for He-Man. while I was slightly disappointed that the cartoon theme didn’t make any sort of appearance, the main theme more than made up for it.

The special effects aren’t exactly award winning quality, yet for 1987 they are good, and do the trick. Considering the budget, the Castle Greyskull set is pretty damn impressive, as are Skeletor’s flying spaceship things.

Now, a lot of people complain that it doesn’t resemble the cartoon enough, and I’m going to try looking at the major ones.
First of all, the complete ignoring of the Prince Adam element. This one could probably be explained by the budget. With all the other stuff to do, I doubt they could have afforded to get a realistic transformation scene, and more to the point, who looks like Dolph enough to play him? Adam was meant to be weedy, how do you get Dolph Lundgren to look like that? Adam is something I can live without.
The lack of Battle Cat and Orco, once again, budget. And the practicality. Orco would just have looked stupid, and there is no way of getting a realistic Battlecat in such a budget. The same goes for Skeletor’s Snake Mountain lair.
Whats the deal with this Earth thing? Probably because they couldn’t afford to use Eternia sets all the time, and because they probably thought it would appeal more having characters to relate to.
Why Saurod/Blade/Karg and not Merman/Whiplash/Webster etc. this is one that I have to admit stumps me. Blade doesn’t exactly require effects, so that explains him, but Saurod is fairly cool, so why the money didn’t go to an established character I don’t know.
What the hell? Why is Teela wearing so much? In the cartoon, Teela wore a swimsuit thing, in this she wears a full body thing. Chelsea Field is sexy enough, why wasn’t she looking like Teela. This is one I almost couldn’t accept, but parents would probably have been up in arms about it.

So how can I defend this movie? Because above all else, it’s a bloody good time. It may be a bit derivative of Star Wars, but so what? Anyone who slams this movie was clearly never a child and enjoyed fun movies, or just doesn’t admit to it. While it may not resemble the cartoon much, Dolph Lundgren is He-Man. the music is awesome, the sword fights are entertaining, the shootouts spectacular!(well, for the 80s). it doesn’t have a remotely deep or thought provoking story, but anyone who goes into, not only a Dolph Lundgren movie, but a Dolph Lundgren movie based on an 80s children’s cartoon expecting such things deserves disappointment. The movie is aimed mostly at kids, and is filled with enough action and adventure to keep them amused, and any adults who like the genre amused. Its Good vs.Evil. A superhero movie.

It isn’t perfect, I would have preferred it to have been set with nothing to do with Earth, but alas, as it is, MOTU is one of the most entertaining family pictures I have ever seen.
The one other fault is that He-Man and Skeletor’s final battle should have been a bit more spectacular. In the DVD commentary, director Gary Goddard makes it clear that it was intended to be, but restrictions both time and one suspects financially ruined this.

While part of my score could be put down to a bit of nostalgia, the fact remains that Masters is an infinitely entertaining action Sci-Fi movie that the whole family can enjoy. If you are a fan of the cartoon, look over the faults and see as close a depiction of He-Man as humanly possible, in an adventure that only a complete hater of cheesy family fun could hate.


Its just a shame that a sequel, which the movie leaves off for, was never made. Maybe we will get a second He-Man picture on the strength of the new cartoon, but lets be honest, neither Dolph nor Frank Langella would even be asked, and some newfangled ‘action hero’ would take up the title role and make a mess of it, so maybe its for the best left as it is.

Ignore the haters, Masters of the Universe is as good a family adventure as you are likely to see.


Other Dolph Lundgren Reviews

Agent Red
Cover Up
Dark Angel
The Last Patrol
The Peacekeeper
Red Scorpion
Universal Soldier


Recommended:
Yes

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: Good for Groups