Blame it on the Pilgrims. The first European settlers to really establish themselves here in America were radical Puritans who had been kicked out of every other civilized country they'd tried and looked down their nose at everything that could even loosely be construed as fun, and we're still suffering under their influence today.
For almost as long as people have been trying to escape the tedium of their daily lives, there's been a fine and lucrative business in trying to get them to stop. The drive toward self control didn't start with Nancy Reagan and "Just Say No," as evidenced by 1938's Tell Your Children - better known under its more sensational title, Reefer Madness (1 hour 5 minutes, unrated, 20th Century Fox).
A church-funded project intended to teach parents the warning signs that their children may be getting into drugs, Reefer Madness is the story of a young man who is drawn swiftly into the seedy world of the dope fiend: violence, insanity, murder and - perhaps worst of all - dancing to jazz music.
Invited to a wild party, clean, upstanding Bill Harper tries his first "marihuana" cigarette. Within days he's fully addicted, and has introduced his friends to the evil, as well. When his girlfriend Mary comes looking for him, she's attacked and murdered and Bill is led to believe that he's the guilty party. Of course, since Bill is completely baked at the time, leading him to that conclusion is no difficult task.
None of the actors in this film are anyone famous or talented, but they all fit their stereotypes well: the pushers look tough, the victims look innocent and the jazz musician looks like a crackhead. The "kids" are played by adult actors in their late 20s or early 30s, but modern audiences are used to that, mainly through the questionable casting practices of any teen drama in the last 15 years.
The acting is not good. In fact, it's tremendously bad. Lots of long silences that do nothing but give the cast time to mentally rehearse their next lines, emotional moments conveyed through blank stares and many more dramatic injustices plague this film. Of course, that's not the point of Reefer Madness. The point is the message, the warning against marihuana's threat.
Though Reefer Madness is considered a bit of a joke these days, I have to admit that the message is effective; if getting stoned was anything like what this movie claims, no one would ever do it.
Reefer Madness has been around on tape and DVD before, but hasn't looked this good since it first blew into theatres in the late '30s. The quality isn't pristine, but it seems doubtful that G & H Productions, the religious group behind the film, was using high-quality film stock when they shot the film, so it's no surprise that it has aged poorly. Still, a complete restoration has been done to remove scratches, dust, spots and all the other little blemishes that tarnish old films.
There are two versions of the film on this disc: the original black and white and, for the first time ever, a colorized version. The color here looks just as awful as every other colorized film, but in this case it adds to the hazy, dew-filled atmosphere of the film. The technicians had a bit of fun with the process, too: each actor gets a unique color of smoke. Sure, you've heard of purple haze, but how about yellow, pink and green?
The sound on this film is incredibly quiet. There's almost no music to speak of, but the dialogue is perfectly clear and understandable. The disc lists Dolby Surround sound and a DTS track, but you wouldn't know it from listening - things sound pretty much the same as they do on the original mono track included with the black and white version.
The producers managed to get two full-length commentaries on this 67-year-old film. The first is by Mike Nelson, most famous for his time as host of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Nelson was a good choice, as he obviously has a lot of experience picking on terrible old movies, which is his task for Reefer's 65 minutes. The only thing missing here are his two robot pals chiming in to tear the film apart.
The second commentary introduces the team of restorers from Legend Film who worked on this presentation of the movie. While they try to joke around a bit, their best contributions deal more with the technical details of restoring an old film of this sort. Both commentaries are more interesting than the film behind them.
Since this disc is a Fox production, it seems fitting that they've tried to be fair and balanced: in addition to the main feature and its drug-free stance, there's the 1999 short film Grandpa's Marijuana Handbook, which is somewhat amusing - particularly the "planned Spanish audio track" (a brief clip of Grandpa's movie overdubbed by someone speaking in French). Perhaps the strongest anti-drug message can be found in the outtakes from this short film, which show the reality of what awaits a lifelong pothead.
Finally, we get a trailer for this new DVD edition of the film that hypes the bad dancing, the bad acting and the romance. Or, well, the gratuitous sex. Gotta mix some exploitation in with your preaching if you want to attract the masses - even Jesus hung around with hookers.
For a nearly septuagenarian propaganda film, Reefer Madness has surprising appeal, not because of its skill or message, but because of its sheer idiocy. This isn't a film that's so bad, it's good; this is so bad that it's just plain bad. Watch it with the right group of friends, however, and you'll have a good time.
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