Cons: So many flashbacks and subplots just make the whole thing boring and confusing.
The Bottom Line: If it's supposed to be a sort of horror comedy, then it's not funny, and there's definitely not enough gore to make it a noteworthy 80's slasher.
"Return to Horror High" is a lousy slasher film that happens to have 4 different writers. This actually does not surprise me. All 4 writers seem to be wanting to write a completely different movie than the other. Remember those activities the teachers made us do in school, where one student would write down a paragraph of a story, then pass it to another student to continue with another paragraph, and so on and so on. That's how I felt while watching this movie.
I always hated that exercise in school, and I'm not much fond of this movie either. Part of it wants to be an entertaining school-centered slasher film; the other wants to be some satire of horror filmmaking, while the other seems to want to trick the audience by piling on twists after twists that don't make any sense at all to the viewer, and could not ever exist in a world where even slasher film events happen. It's not "Rashomon," so it shouldn't even try to be.
George Clooney makes a brief appearence in this film, and I'm thinking maybe Anchor Bay should put out a box set of the early campy works of Clooney. They've already released "Return of the Killer Tomatoes," so now they just have to release "Red Surf." Sadly though, in this movie, he's slaughtered roughly about 10 minutes into the thing. Though it is ironic seeing how the opening credits are done in alphabetical order, making Clooney's name appear first. The makers of this film probably could have never asked for a better circumstance for that, seeing how that way that can gleefully grace his name on the cover of the box.
When you actually describe the film, it doesn't sound like much to think about. In fact, it sounds like it might be rather interesting if you like 80's slasher films, which I most certainly do. The action takes place at Crippen High School, where in the past, several students died as a result of a vicious serial killer who was never caught. Years later, a film crew decides to do a movie on the very same school grounds where the murders took place. Except members of the cast and crew appear to be dying in the same slasher fashion as before. They should have seen that coming! You've got to think about those things when you live in the 80's slasher era!
The problem we have here is that the movie is so poorly put together, that it's like someone took two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and mashed them together with their fists until the pieces eventually stick to eachother. There are moments in the film where I was not sure if I was watching a flashback, or if I was watching something filmed by the filmcrew in the movie, and there are these pointless scenes where a couple of cops stand on the school lawn where numerous dead bodies lay under bloody sheets. That leads to an ending that had me scratching my head when I first saw this film back in my Junior High days. I apparently never got any smarter since I still don't get this movie, then again I don't think the makers of "Return To Horror High" are all that smart either.
A silly slasher movie should not make you scratch your head until it bleeds. It should either make you wet your pants or just roll over laughing at the cheerful sights of someone getting their head ripped off. This movie does have some laughs regarding a few over the top slasher death sequences, and indeed I did laugh in those scenes...but I don't know why.
Also like "Return of the Killer Tomatoes," this movie only contains a theatrical trailer, and can be found in your local store bargain bin. Anchor Bay also released "Horror High" in their Drive In Double Feature series, which is along the same lines as what MGM did with their Midnight Movies releases. Plus, the movie is also found in the Campy Classics 6 Pack. The DVD is exactly the same though in all of these releases. Just a trailer, but I really don't care.
In 1982, Crippen High School was the scene of a series of brutal murders. The killer was never caught. Now, a low-budget film crew that includes an il...More at Buy.com Marketplaces
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