Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie's plot.

I hate to sound like Sally Field, but I like this film; I really like this film.

I didn't think I would. As a person whose never been all that religious, biblical films have always been to me what kryptonite is to Superman. I just could never stomach the thought of sitting through what I essentially thought were overlong, preachy, dull films that tended to give more sermons than dramatic action. But all that changed when I finally viewed "The Robe" for the first time in over twenty years. No, I don't think I've fully converted to watching biblical films, but I do know that if I had to watch one, it would be this one.

Starring a young Richard Burton, "The Robe" centers on a Roman soldier named Marcellus Gallio. Gallio is a well-known hothead who tends to bring dishonor to his family with his behavior, especially when it involves ticking off the soon to be Roman emperor, Caligula, a sniveling, little maniacal twit who he can't stand. One day, Gallio's constant toying with Caligula gets him into serious trouble when he outbids the rat in a public slave auction, publicly humiliating him in the process. As punishment for his disrespect, Caligula has Gallio stationed in the Holy Land, which was, to the Ancient Romans at that time, a festering pit of crime, social unrest, and urban decay. However, Caligula needn't have punished Gallio by sending him away because the soldier's joke winds up biting him in the butt. It turns out that Demetrius, the Greek slave who he had outbid Caligula for in the public auction, winds up being an angry, disobedient, pig-headed, rebellious servant who gives him plenty of trouble.

A few days after staying in the Holy Land, Gallio is given an assignment-- he is to help crucify a mysterious man who is being called the King of the Jews. Being what he is-- a cold-hearted Roman-- Gallio simply does the job methodically, not really caring who he's crucifying. After the crucifixion, he then laughs as he and the other Roman soldiers gamble for Christ's robe. Luckily for Gallio, he wins the honor of keeping the robe and when it's handed to him, he triumphantly throws it around his neck to shield him from the growing wind, thunder, and rain that has started after Jesus dies.

But look out--! As soon as he does this, he is overcome as if shocked by a lightning volt. As he lies there on the ground in agony, Demetrius--who had become a follower of Jesus in the days before his crucifixion-- accosts him, tears streaming down his face, screaming, "Rulers of the world are you, but you're nothing but pigs!" He then curses his master's existence, grabs the robe, and runs off for good.

After this incident, Gallio returns home, but he does so four fries short of a Happy Meal. On the boat ride over, the clattering of iron has him going insane because it sounds like nails being driven into a cross. Worse yet, every five seconds, when someone says a word that reminds him of the crucifixion, he suddenly breaks out into a sweat and screams, "Were you out there?" Obviously, he's become nuts, and when he finally gets home and tells everyone about the robe, they tell him that he's become the victim of some black magic, and that he must find it to cure him. There's only one problem, though: Demetrius the Slave has got it, and he's nowhere to be found!

I won't go into more details, but let's say that the rest of the movie, as it shows Gallio's quest to find "the robe," is outstanding. Yes, there is a bit of preachiness in it-- especially in the middle of the film-- but what's great about it is that there's a balance. Between the moments of preachiness are terrific moments of great suspense, action, and psychological drama, something very similar to what we saw in "The Ten Commandments."

Also great about the film are the performances. Burton has always been described in this film as being wooden, yet for some reason, I found the woodenness of his acting very appropriate, especially considering the images of Ancient Romans that have come down to us from history. Because they've always been depicted as a cold, highly logical, and dispassionate people, Burton's performance-- however wooden-- fits his character well. But the people who really make this picture are the second bananas-- i.e., the character actors. You'll never forget their faces or the characters they play, especially Victor Mature, who plays the passionate Demetrius. The scene in which he's standing there in the pouring rain screaming with contempt at Gallio is one of the greatest performances ever captured in film history; it's a shame that Mature became typecast as a himbo throughout his career and was never allowed to expand into other roles.

As for the writing? It's great for the type of film that it is. Unlike a lot of biblical pictures of that era, the writing on The Robe isn't pretentious. So, no, the characters in it do not say things like, "Our love, it doth flutter like the wings of a dove," or "Thou shalt do my bidding, or else die by the blade of my sword!" Happily, the writers took it easy on that and made a film that appealed to everyone and not snobs or certain people who think that anything religious should be done dryly or pretentiously.

However, there is something about the film that another Epinioner mentioned that is very true: the only fault of The Robe is that it does have elements of camp. There are moments when you'll find yourself snickering, if only because the movie tries too hard to be dramatic. There's a particular scene like that in here that will have you bawling with laughter. I won't tell you what it is, but let's just say that it involves one of the Twelve Apostles and a lot of thunder. When the scene ends, you won't gasp, you'll laugh. And yes, Caligula is played a bit over the top. (In this film's defense, though, it was made in 1953 at a time when audiences were so unsophisticated, they were scared crapless by cheap cinematic effects like having lightning flash whenever a villain appeared.) Other than these momentary lapses into campiness, however, The Robe is highly riveting, deep, and thoughtfully made.

So, what else is there to say about this film? Only this: if one day someone passes this tape along to you and you groan with displeasure at the thought of having a biblical tape on your hands like I did once, don't throw it away. View it, and you just might be surprised to find that it will give you a better cinematic experience than you expected.

Recommended: Yes

Viewing Format: VHS
Video Occasion: Good for a Rainy Day
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 9 - 12