Plot Details: This opinion reveals major details about the movie's plot.

I've already mentioned this in a previous review or two, but during my senior year in high school, I dated a ballerina. Being a heavy metal kid, I was actually quite proud of myself for having landed such a gal, and while the relationship was not meant to last for more than a year, we had some interesting times together.

In addition to turning me on to bands like The Cure and Depeche Mode, the ballerina also enlightened me on the world of dance in general. I got to learn about pirouettes, George Balanchine, the joys of having an especially limber girlfriend, and the misery that accompanies having to sit through "The Nutcracker" about five times. One thing, however, that I was not clued in on was this: ballet schools are sometimes used as a front by European witchcraft covens.

Or at least that's what Italian horror-meister Dario Argento would have you believe in "Suspiria", a 1977 underground classic that is still the object of much debate. What, some might ask, was Argento thinking? Where's the plot? Who wrote that disturbing soundtrack? And, most importantly, why does the ballet school contain a room that is occupied solely by barbed wire?

The mid-1970's found Dario Argento carving out his identity in the world of Italian horror. He went from being a scriptwriter of spaghetti Westerns to directing his own contributions to the "giallo" genre, a European type of film that primarily consists of black-gloved psychos bumping off people in evil ways, amidst a lot of red herrings and incomprehensible plot devices. I like the genre a lot, due to its alluring yet absurd quality, and Dario ended up becoming the Yoda of the giallo field.

His first three films, "The Bird With The Crystal Plumage", "Four Flies On Grey Velvet", and "Cat O' Nine Tails", are collectively referred to as the "animal trilogy" and are mostly standard but entertaining examples of the giallo. In 1975, Argento released "Deep Red" and shot to the top of the heap with good reason- it's a superb, masterfully-paced, and excessively violent film that deserves a weekend with your wife. With you footing the bill, of course.

Part of "Deep Red"'s appeal is its pulsing, jazzy, calling-the-hairs-on-one's-arm-to-attention soundtrack, which was the work of a band called Goblin. Convinced he was on a winning track, Argento employed the band again to write the score for "Suspiria", with equally satisfying results. Much has been made of Goblin's music, and while I agree that the soundtrack is an indispensable part of any Argento film, this is not the place to go into it. That would be, of course, my recent review of the "Suspiria" soundtrack.

If memory serves me correctly, "Suspiria" was inspired by a story or dream related to Argento by his then-squeeze and frequent employee, Daria Nicolodi (actress Asia Argento is the result of their coupling). That could be why the plot has more holes in it than the body of an insurgent after Black Hawk happy hour. Other reviewers have stated that the movie plays out like a dream, and if one accepts it as that, then it's easier to forgive Argento for the crazy narrative style found herein.

Essentially, what the plot of "Suspiria" deals with is an American girl (Suzy Banyon) who really deserves to have her dance school tuition refunded. She arrives at the academy on a rainy night, only to find some other girl freaking out at the door. Thus begins a series of events that could only be described as "confusing", "odd", "grotesque", and "what the f*ck?".

Since there are already a billion other reviews of this movie on Epinions, it would be pointless for me to cover the plot again. Others have already done that in a way that borders on criminally thorough, so I'll just comment upon a handful of the film's strengths and weaknesses. Both are considerable, and the latter keep the film from being a masterpiece just as assuredly as the former keep it in my DVD collection. In other words, I know of few films that simultaneously work so well yet...don't.

On the plus side, we have the aforementioned soundtrack (don't even tell me that wails, whispers, bells, and loud synths going "WHAAH" fail to enhance this movie), the setting (going with a creepy dance school in a dark German forest is something of a guarantee), the beauty (Argento parades his love of color by shooting scenes in blue, red, and pink rooms), and the suspense. Because the movie is so freakin' weird, it's really rather hard to predict how it'll end, though common sense might indicate that the witches will be destroyed.

I've always found Jessica Harper to be a bit dull, which is something of a problem here, since she plays the lead character. Some of the screaming girl-victims go a little overboard in their performances (the "wire room" scene comes to mind especially), but one should never watch a giallo expecting Oscar-winning thespianism. The blind pianist who has his throat ripped out by his very own seeing-eye dog also has a hint of dork about him, and none of the dance school teachers seem even remotely concerned that their students are being hacked apart (which makes complete sense, when one realizes that they are either doing it themselves or contracting the job out to someone else). Again, though, believability has never been the forte of Argento, nor any of the other directors who make these kinds of films.

On the positive side, at least two of the characters are downright unnerving. No, make that three, if one includes the head witch (something Markos, Elena I think), who is essentially a wheezing, very ancient hag who, for most of the movie, does nothing more sinister than stay out of the way, hiding out in a secret wing of the building. The creepiest characters, by far, are Ms. Tanner, a Nazi-tiger shark hybrid with an impenetrable and overblown accent, and some Romanian custodian ghoul who flits around and unnerves us with his unsightly mug. The other dance teacher, Madame Blanc (played by Joan Bennett), seems casually evil but has nothing on that Cheshire cat known as Ms. Tanner. That woman freaks my shingles.

The murders are somewhat silly, but no more so than in Argento's other films. We have a very close-up shot of a woman getting her heart punctured (shortly before she is also thrown through a window and hung, in what must surely be a textbook example of overkill), the blind pianist losing his golden pipes to his pooch, and another girl meeting her bloody death after being ensnared in a room full of barbless barbed wire (I initially thought it was a big heap of fishing line strewn across the floor). These strange and goofy homicides were fortunately not intended to be the movie's primary strength. As for who is offing all the females, that is still a mystery to me; all we ever see of the killer is his or her eyes looking at us through the window, in what is easily one of the film's key moments of suspense.

Other inexplicable elements include the "bat attack" scene (Suzy is assaulted for no good reason by what is clearly a rubber assailant), the "maggots dripping from the ceiling" episode (which results in the girls having to sleep in the gym or something), and the general premise of the movie (Markos is one of the "three sisters" that are responsible for all the world's evil- if that makes any sense whatsoever). Euro-film fixture Udo Kier plays a psychiatrist/friend of one of the victims who tries to give Suzy the lowdown about the academy personnel and their witchy agenda, but Argento's concept never fully comes together in my mind. But I'm stupid and you're not, so maybe it will make perfect sense to ya. If it doesn't, don't even bother with his following film, "Inferno", which finds us dealing with sister-witch number two and an even more convoluted series of events.

What this film does have going for it is plenty of atmosphere. I'll cop to a shiver or two when I first saw the scary-eyed killer outside the window, and a girl running through creepy dark woods to the blaring terror of Goblin is about as good as it gets for a horror fan. Argento drops enough hints about the dance teachers that it's easy to guess what's going on, but keeping the big witch in the pocket for most of the film was an effective idea indeed. It also manages to be beautiful much of the time, due to Argento's eccentric sense of cinematography.

In short, "Suspiria" is an exercise in menacing atmosphere, perplexing plot, and violent executions. It is neither my favorite Argento film (that would have to be "Phenomena") nor the giallo I'm most likely to rave about (that is definitely "House With The Laughing Windows", and it will be reviewed in the very near future), but it is utterly unlike any other film I've ever seen. It doesn't scare the stockings off my mannequin, but it certainly has a few chilling moments, and while the murders are characteristically graphic, they're really more of a sideshow to the building tension and ominously pretty visuals. Get past all its faults, and "Suspiria" might have you diverting your ballet money into breakdancing lessons.

"Suspiria" soundtrack review:
http://www.epinions.com/content_180635995780

Recommended: Yes

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: Fit for Friday Evening
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older

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