Plot Details: This opinion reveals major details about the movie's plot.

A long time ago, in a place called Transylvania, an evil lurked in the countryside. This was no monster or undead being, it was the script for Transylvania 6-5000. Now, don’t get me wrong, this was a fantastically funny film, but not exactly something that you would openly admit to having in your film collection if friends came over.

There is some real star power in this film and I am sure those stars would rather have this buried six feet under than to have it mentioned in a public place. Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis [hottie alert], Michael Richards, Ed Begley Jr., Donald Gibbs, Carol Kane and Joseph Bologna are just a few of the major players that appear in this flick – but keep your eyes peels – you are sure to recognize at least five others from other films, television shows and commercials.

The plot is simple, Jack and Gil are reporters for a rag tag magazine [much like the famed Enquirer or Sun] and they are sent to Transylvania to investigate suspicious activities and sightings. Once there they start to inquire about Frankenstein and are turned into the laughing stalk of the town. Along the way you are introduced to the various odd characters that make this film more than just a little entertaining. Radu and Lupi with their Tom & Jerry like activities, Pretzel Boy, a kind and gentle wolfman and of course the nympho vampire.

Under the surface, there is a story, but it’s not exactly what the two reporters planned on. It turns out that the ‘freaks’ are really just people that have been under the care of Dr. Malavaqua. But there’s at least a good hour before you start to get to the real truth of the characters. Throw into the mix a budding love attraction between Jack and Elizabeth, Gil getting checked into a mental institution to do some field research and Fejos and all his practical jokes. Smell the glass, essss good, no? You have to see the film to get the full flavor from that line, trust me.

Stand out scenes are abundant – Fejos with his fake arm in the doorway, Radu hiding from Lupi, Odette coming on to everyone under the sun, the fortune teller warning of danger, the townspeople making fun of Gil and Jock when asking about Frankenstein … still need more? Don’t forget about the almost famous line “Patient trying to escape, patient trying to escape” at the asylum, Gil riding the wolfman back to the castle, Elizabeth defending the freaks with only a broken bottle and about a thousand other scenes. Sure I could sit here and tell you every little detail – but then you’d never go and rent it. So get off your dukkas and go rent this!


The Stars

Jeff Goldblum Jack Harrison
[The Fly, Powder, Buckaroo Banzai]
One half of the half brained team sent to investigate the wonders and mysteries of Transylvania. He does a good job with his character but most of his performance is cosmetic – his biting wit and sarcasm are well worth the price of the rental.

Ed Begley Jr Gil Turner
[Best in Show, She-Devil, Renaissance Man]

The other half of the team – not as bright as Jack but he certainly puts his whole heart into his efforts. Ed Begley Jr. creeps me out most of the time and I’ll be honest – I don’t think he’s all that hot as an actor – but he plays the fool perfectly. Ironic isn’t it?

Geena Davis Odette
[Angie, Stuart Little, The Fly]

Forget characters, get rid of any element of a plot – but just check out that dress she is wearing. WOW! Odette is a sexually obsessed nymphomaniac vampire – or at least that’s what she thinks she is. This isn’t an award winning performance by any stretch of the imagination – but if I said it once – I’ll say it a thousand times – the dress – my god the dress.

Joseph Bologna Dr. Malavaqua
[Blame It On Rio, Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love]

Following his hypocritical oath, he tries his hardest to work with what he has in the way of patients. His Dr. Jeckyl / Mr. Hyde complex only makes his character more intense. Again, we aren’t talking award-winning film here, but he manages to kick this film up a few notches with his unique brand of humor.

Carol Kane Lupi
[Man on the Moon, Addams Family Values, Scrooged]

Kane’s character helps to mold the surreal element of the surrounding area. After all, did you really expect to find a normal staff in Transylvania? She’s a co-dependant housekeeper that always manages to get the short end of the stick – literally. Two huge thumbs up for her comical performance. Her husband, Radu, is also hysterical to watch!

Jeffrey Jones Lepescu
[Stuart Little, Sleepy Hollow, Devil's Advocate]

Sure the name might not sound familiar but I can almost guarantee that when you see his face you’ll say “Hey, that was the guy from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off!” His character is rather dry but packed with some great lines and his facial expression just can’t be beat.


So, you see, the star power in this film is pretty amazing and I could go on for at least another full page mentioning all the great actors and actresses that participated in this film – but to save you from extreme boredom – I spare you … this time.

Who Would Love This

Anyone who loves a good comedy would fall off the couch and rewind scenes over and over. Now, by “good comedy” I don’t mean a comedy that is good, just a film that is guaranteed to have you in stitches. This is also the kind of film that you can watch over and over again with it getting old or boring. Very few films have that type of appeal these days. This is also one of the few films that I can watch from start to finish without ever having to pick up the remote control to fast forward through scenes – now rewinding – that’s another story :]

Who Would Hate This

Well, if comedy isn’t your bag baby, then skip this. I can’t say that every person that sees this will fall in love with it, but you won’t walk away saying “There’s and hour and a half I’ll never get back” If you find either of the big names in this film, Goldblum or Begley, irritating – I’d also suggest skipping this flick. Goldblum isn’t nearly as bad in this as he was in The Big Chill but his character does tend to become slightly obnoxious after repeated viewings.

The Bottom Line

Personally, I thought this was a great flick. For me it’s all about the laughter. Some films that people said would have me rolling on the floor [Scary Movie for one] left me flat and wanting to smack somebody around. The cast and characters were exceptional – even if this film was a flop at the box office – I still call it a cutting edge, almost cult classic that you should check out at least once in your lifetime.



The Stats

Rating: PG-13
[Adult Content, Namely Geena Davis]
Released January 1, 1985
Re-Released November 1, 1985
Run Time: 94 Minutes
Directed By: Rudy De Luca
Distributed By: New World Pictures

Gore Level: Almost none. No real special effect but some nice make up. [Again… Geena Davis]

Useless Information: There were two different boxes for the release of this film, one [the most common] features Goldblum and Begley in front of a tombstone, the other features Geena Davis with the tagline For A Good Time Call…. The latter of the two is hard to find in good condition and is worth a nice chunk of change to collectors.

Even More Useless Information: The original title for the film was Saturday The 13th and a few copies were shipped to video stores as screeners. If you see this – it might be worth a few bucks to the same people that are hunting down the rare video box mentioned above.

The Last Piece of Useless Information – Honest: Dow Chemical funded the film – that’s right – the chemical guru’s [who also pioneered breast implants] have several plants and companies in Yugoslavia. A little know law forbids funds earned in certain countries to be removed from the region.


Recommended: Yes

Viewing Format: VHS
Video Occasion: Fit for Friday Evening
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older