I am reviewing Playboy Farmers Daughters
Recommend this product?
About the video
This is a 42-minute video in color. It was made in 1986 by Playboy Enterprises. It is not rated so I will rate it myself during the review. Farmers' Daughters was written and directed by David Kelley. The Executive Producer was Hugh Hefner and it was produced by David Kellogg and Gary Moscowitz.
We are introduced to Playboy Magazines September, 1986 Farmers Daughters." They are:
Colleen, Linda, Jackie, Christine and Brenda listening to a country song and pictures of farmers and farming-related items. The movie is filled with country-western music and if that is your style you may enjoy the music. (Dwight Yokum singing Ring of Fire) I found it to be silly in conjunction with the scenes being shown for the most part.
We are shown each woman one by one. Some segments are very short and some very long. I wondered about the discrepancy of this but I am sure it must have been a contractual item. There is no plot whatsoever; however, unlike XXX rated movies, there is no sexual intercourse and the only men are fully-clothed farmers. The women are shown more than once. Although we start with Jackie we see her again later in the movie.
Briefly I will introduce the women to you and what I thought of the segment.
1. Christine introduces herself in a barn feeding pigs. Shes a down home gal who likes to take care of her man. She is fully clothed until we are about 7 minutes into the movie. She then does a well-done strip tease wearing a see through dress. Throughout the movie there are animated animal characters that may sing or watch the women. I found this addition unnecessary and silly. The bio is interesting and the dance/strip tease enjoyable.
2. Jackie roller skates and then swims in a pool. This is also a beautiful scene. She is the most voluptuous of the women and perhaps, unlike many, many XXX videos, none of the women, except perhaps Jackie has implants. However, Home, Home on the Range in the background just doesnt do much to add to the video. This pool scene is quite long and I think the most sensual scene of the video.
There are close-ups of this beautiful woman and full frontal nudity. Why she then has to pick up an armadillo is beyond me but they have to throw in the fact she is from Texas and this is how they depict that. This segment is the longest and we continue with a square dance. Literally. A regular square dance and in fact the square dance caller is acknowledged in the credits. Jackie ends the segment by saddling up a horse and riding nude. This is the longest nude scene and in my opinion the most beautiful.
3. Colleen introduces herself (All of the Playmates are from different states and they identify that in the beginning of their segments.) to the background of Amazing Grace. This is a nice scene actually in spite of the incongruous nature of the music and the video. However, if you look at the beautiful scene, Amazing Grace may make some sense in a stretch. She talks about how she loves the mornings and has a lengthy fully clothed scene with beautiful horses. There are some still pictures of her with peeks of nudity very much like we would see in Playboy Magazine. Colleen has a lengthy segment close to 15 minutes.
I have no idea why they stuck a scene of cows in fast motion at this point because this is a well-done segment. It continues with a beautiful outdoor shower scene showing total nudity, however much of it is a side view of Colleen. Scenes of Colleen continue with her jumping in a lake and singing about love, swimming in an inner tube and having what looks like fun. If you are a man or a lesbian (or perhaps neither) you may want to jump in with her. Is spite of this being the segment with the most nudity for the longest time, we see no pink. (If you dont know what that means, e-mail me)
4. Brenda has an unfortunate start with her riding on an unattractive tractor telling us a long, boring story. She is the woman who is the most modest. We only see some peeks of her body until she undresses to dress a scarecrow. Even in this scene we see very little of her body. The scene is not a close up and it is a short segment.
5. Linda starts by shooting rifles and talking about life in a small town. She spends a long time dressing and undressing in front of a mirror, though we see very little of her body as well. A strange scene involved her wearing see-through clothes and going back and forth from one room to another with various amounts of clothes on. This could be sensual if watching her go back and forth wasn't so distracting This scene, I feel, is further ruined with a silly song about a chicken! The movie ends with her lying dressed in bed with a bubble from bubble gum on her face.
What I think of Playboy's Farmers' Daughters:
I think it is really a very bad film. Although the video quality is decent and some of the scenes really very pretty, it is ruined by silly songs and animated cows. I don't think this is due to lack of 2002 technology either.
The film is boring and bland. The colors of the women's clothes and most of the scenery are not vibrant, making for many dull scenes.
If you are familiar with HBO late at night, you will see some very, very erotic and sensual movies most of which have plots. I think Emmanuelle on television is quite good. If you have seen her shows, you have seen some decent adult television. If you have watched some good quality adult videos you have seen some beautiful women staged with interesting backgrounds. This is just not so with Farmers' Daughters. If you want to see woman in erotic poses, buy the magazine because you wont see many in this video.
Clearly Jackie has the best body and most beautiful scenes. However, if you watch adult videos you will see many more beautiful women with more beautiful bodies. Not that three of these women are not attractive- they are. Linda and Brenda are two I am surprised even made it into Playboy though.
My final thoughts
There are obviously no men interacting with these 5 women. This is a silly movie that is not particularly erotic, sensual or good. I like adult videos with a plot (or rated XXX) and was expecting (When I watched this to review it I probably havent seen it since 1986!) a plot about farmers' daughters doing something! This is basically a boring glimpse of the magazine but in motion rather than in still pictures, although even in this video there are many portfolio shots of the women just as there would be in the magazine.
I dont like the music, the silly animation or the fast forwards that add nothing to the scenes. This could have been done much better using farms as a base but adding more of the women and fewer cows.
This is a Playboy film, not a Hustler, Adam and Eve or Coast to Coast film and in 2002 would hardly get an X rating! It would, of course because there is full frontal nudity. Skip this one.
This is a review in a write off called Trick or Treat, Feel the Heat. Thanks to tbthorn and kristinafh for hosting this. Other reviewers participating are:
and of course tbthorn and kristinafh
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