Plot Details: This opinion reveals major details about the movie's plot.

While I wasn’t around in the sixties (well, mostly), as I understand it lots and lots of people did lots and lots of drugs. While I'm not sure if the Japanese ever did lots and lots of drugs, it's the only explanation I can think of for Godzilla's Revenge.

Right off the bat, we get some - well, funky mellow batman-ish tripy moog music. Its like listening to one of Yoko Ono's songs, but less painful. After a credit sequence of monster battles from previous movies (far more exciting than anything we get in this movie), we open with the a real, honest to goodness Kenny (or in this case, Ichiro) a young 10 year old boy in short, short pants. Kenny is growing up in a suburb of Tokyo, comes home every day to his empty apartment (Mom and dad work days), and only has one friend - a creepy inventor/toymaker, who allows Ichiro to hang around his workshop. Along the way home from school every day, he also gets bullied by a young punk named Gabara and his gang.

After running the gauntlet of bullies and creepy inventors Kenny finally gets home and pulls out a radio that lets him travel to monster Island by jet. Strangely enough, there's a fully booked direct flight to Monster Island. One wouldn’t think there's a booming tourist business there - but I'm not a Japanese tourist agent so what do I know.

Once on Monster Island, Kenny witnesses some stock footage of several monster battles lifted from previous Godzilla films before pulling a Alice in Wonderland and falling down a nearly bottomless pit. We get some attempts at rock climbing before Kenny is rescued by Minilla - son of Godzilla, mysteriously shrunk down to human size.

After a brief round of introductions (and some more stock footage lifted from another godzilla film), Kenny is teleported back home. There's some boring soap opera bits about Kenny's depressing home life, another encounter with Kenny's nemesis again, and some tedious nonsense about some bank robbers before a trip back to Monster Island. From this point on, we pretty much flip flop between Imaginary Stock Footage Island and Kenny's Mind Numbingly Dreary Home Life, with Minilla acting as guidance councilor so Kenny can stand up to The Bully.

The only new Monster footage comes to us in the form of Gabera - a monster especially designed for this stock footage compellation - um, I mean feature length movie. And even then, his appearances are only briefly. Everything else is recycled from either Godzilla vs the Sea Monster (and it wasn’t that great the FIRST time around) or from Son of Godzilla.

To say that Godzilla's Revenge is a low point of the series is an understatement. Under the statement like about 18 miles under. How did Ishiro Honda get suckered into directing this train wreck of a film, I'll never know. I only hope that he was able to recover whatever blackmail evidence was used as leverage against him and destroy it.

AND THE WINNER IS:
Um. . . . . Kenny, I guess - for learning to stand up to his nemesis.

AND NOW YOU KNOW:
Stand up to bullies and make your parents proud.

THE KENNY FACTOR: %100
Need I explore this any further?

THE END. . . . ?
Fortunately Kenny, unlike Godzilla, never comes back.

THE DVD:
The DVD used in this review was the old Simitar Entertainment release, that comes with both a wide screen and a pan and scan version. No Japanese audio track, but it does have a fake 5.1 soundtrack. There are a couple of extras - some trailers for other Simitar releases (The first Godzilla, G vs Mothra, G vs Monster Zero, G's Revenge and the Terror of MechaGodzilla.), a not too difficult trivia game and some stills from other Godzilla films. It's not much, but it's WAY more than we usually get on the Sony releases.

Actually I have to give some props to Simitar's trailers. They have the hyperbole that was so common in science fiction films of the 50's ("SEE horror leap off the screen! VISIT Planet X! TERROR beyond WORDS!). It's a nice touch, and clear that they enjoy their work.

THE BOTTOM LINE:
The production team was on drugs writing this mess, and clearly the only way to watch it is really, really stoned off your ass.

This review is part of my "Thirty Days (more or less) of Godzilla" review blitz, where I watch every single Godzilla movie ever made. Check out the rest of the Godzillathon:
* Godzilla: King of the Monsters
* Godzilla Raids Again
* King Kong vs Godzilla
* King Kong Escapes
* Mothra vs Godzilla
* Invasion of Astro Monster
* Godzilla vs the Sea Monster
* Son of Godzilla
* Destroy All Monsters
* Godzilla's Revenge
* Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla
* The Terror of MechaGodzilla
* Godzilla: The Animated Series
* Godzilla vs Biollante
* Godzilla vs King Ghidorah
* Godzilla vs Space Godzilla
* Godzilla vs Destroyah
* The American 1998 Godzilla
* Godzilla 2000
* Godzilla vs Megaguirus
* Godzilla: Final Wars


Recommended: No

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: Better than Watching TV
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 9 - 12