It was nearing midnight. The house was quiet again; the silence restored after my son had been put back to sleep for the third time that evening. Jostled by the wake-up calls from my youngest child, I was unable to fall back asleep. It was with a reluctant sigh that I retreated to the couch with my favourite feather pillow and duvet in the hopes that I could find something more stimulating than an infomercial to watch on TV. And so it happened that I chanced upon a movie already beyond the opening title and credits.
I knew I had seen it many years ago, but despite an infuriating search into that cache of cerebral memories I came up empty. And that turned out to be a most surprising gift. Having forgotten virtually everything about the plot of "Once Around" I was treated to this movie from a fresh, new perspective. The perspective of a woman who had grown tremendously since the movie's release and my initial viewing in 1991.
It was one tiny, unremarkable line nearing the end of this oft maddening but powerfully charming tale of family dynamics, life, love and choice that struck a chord deep within me that night. It was the spark that ignited a keg of emotion that brought forth years of soul searching and self-discovering, volumes of self-help books, hours of meditation, resolution, acceptance and forgiveness into an entirely new light. It has become a mantra of sorts, and I am having fun tossing it around, throwing it at old misconceptions to see what will transpire.
I know that I may be entirely alone in the effect that this movie, and that one line in particular, had on me. I am happy to report that I don't care. And you may be a tad bit surprised at the seven somewhat cheesy words that have helped me see life through a new set of rose coloured glasses...and incidentally gave me the idea for this write-off.
But I shall keep you waiting for a moment as I delve into the magic that is "Once Around"...
THE MOVIE
"Once Around" represents the American debut of Swedish director Lasse Hallström (My Life as a Dog, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, The Cider House Rules, Chocolat). Featuring a star studded cast that includes Richard Dreyfuss, Holly Hunter, the warm and wise Danny Aiello, Laura San Giacomo and Gena Rowlands, the movie is given depth and life through a dialogue-rich script by Malia Scotch Marmo and a soundtrack by the infamous James Horner.
Our heroine (Hunter) is Renata Bella, the daughter of American-Italian parents Joe and Marilyn Bella, played to heartwarming perfection by Danny Aiella and Gena Rowlands. The Bellas are a close-knit group held together by tradition and the strong and loving patriarch Joe. Renata, starting to feel the desperation of a woman still single and unfulfilled in her early thirties is spurred on to seek a new identity for herself.
The marriage of her younger sister Jan (San Giacomo), and the realization that her boyfriend has no interest in marriage leads Renata to dump the non-committal lout and head to St. Martin where she meets up with our ?hero? Sam (Dreyfuss). Hero is a difficult word to apply in this case. While certainly the leading man, Dreyfuss is given a character so obnoxiously annoying that I was torn between sympathizing, hating and admiring him for his tenacity and unbending ways.
As in "Always" (1989), Hunter and Dreyfuss manage an unusual yet tender sort of chemistry. Here, Sam is the older, pushy condo salesman with material wealth and a giving spirit that is comparable in size to his ego. Where Renata is loving, young and sweet he is verbose and unrelenting in forcing his will. It is never made perfectly clear what the attraction is between them, though we can ponder that Sam is a strong figure, as her father is, though the two are an entirely different breed of men.
At any rate, the two fall in love, and eventually Sam must come home with Renata and meet the parents. The ensuing clash of personalities, the discord that Sam causes within the Bella clan is a fun ride to watch. There are certainly many brilliant scenes flowing with dialogue, cutting edge humour, and heart wrenching moments.
Dreyfuss is brilliant in his portrayal, and succeeds in creating a Sam that angers us with his often blatant lack of compassion. He can be hurtful and insulting, though it is apparent he does not mean to be. He is also incredibly giving, doling out presents and jobs which serves to increase the personal conflicts in the other characters. They love and hate him at the same time, and we are drawn into the battle, perhaps squirming a bit in discomfort as we recognize some of our own less palpable family traits in these very real characters.
Renata, of course, is thrown into the middle of this turmoil and is made to feel she must choose between the man she loves and the family she adores. Through all that our two heroes marry, and we are treated to a dazzling performance by Aiello, who by his very nature gives us a Joe Bella that is as mellow and enticing as a fine red wine. Our heart goes out to this man who sees his beloved family dissolving into a bickering, angst filled group. His facial expressions, his body language, his demeanor are all beautifully orchestrated to reveal layer upon layer of depth and emotion.
Memorable Moments
Lasse Hallström, though guilty of allowing some perfectly dreadful, awkward and unbelievable moments to slip into the final cut, has nonetheless managed to capture some perfectly splendid bits of acting and cinematography. We are led by the heartstrings as the Bellas, and Sam skate upon a frozen lake, as Joe sings to his daughter at her wedding, despite his uncertainty in her choice of husbands. A tender moment ensues after a nasty argument, and to express his sorrow, to show Renata that he understands the importance of family and the ties that bind, he points a projector at her pregnant belly. The juxtaposition of home movies against the growing child within is a lovely thing to watch. I could argue that the moment was too obvious, but the woman in me that loves to cry at movies was deeply moved in spite of myself.
While "Once Around" could be considered a romantic comedy, it has far more intelligence than other titles that fit so well into this category. It makes us think, it makes us care, it makes us angry, and the story line is strong enough to pull us in head over heels. We are given suspense, taken on a journey that is a little bit messy, a little chaotic, but such is life in the real world. We come to expect some things that do not happen, and are taken by surprise at the things that do. And as a sudden sadness takes over the final moments of this film we are given a simple lesson, that one line that reaches out to me with every repetition.
"I had the time of my life"
Sitting on my couch in the middle of the night, sobbing away into my feather pillow, I heard that one line and paused. "Huh". I didn't expect that. You might say the moment was too Hollywood, too contrived, too cheesy to dignify the magnitude of the events that have just transpired, but slowly I could feel a smile across my face, my own life come into focus.
"I had the time of my life"
With all the tribulations, the constant companion that death has been in my life, I had become guilty of defining myself by the bad times. I turned the phrase over and over in my mind. I sat up thinking about that one line long after the movie had ended. I have taken it, made it my own and tucked it away in a pocket close to my heart.
"I had the time of my life"
Say it enough and it becomes as a magnet, drawing forth all those cherished moments, the happy memories...the gratitude for having those experiences that has brought me to this point in time. And gratitude is a powerful thing my friends.
"I had the time of my life"
This is my line...my simple little mantra...and I hope to live, love and remember by it until I can live no longer.
What a lovely gift to receive from such an unexpected source.
Go rent "Once Around", with luck you will have forgotten this charming movie as I had, and be able to see it with a whole new perspective. And may you always seek the brighter side of life.
At some point in our lives, as the planets align just so and destiny decides that enough is enough, we may all be treated to the experience of that one defining moment, that gift of a line that sparks something within us. I?m not alone in my viewpoint, and am simply awestruck at the number of talented writers that have joined me in this, the "Great One Liner Write-Off". I thank them all for joining this little party, and urge you to pay them a visit:
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