Geez, what is it about Stephen King having really bad movie adaptations of his classic books. Why does the poor man even try anymore? You know he isn't strapped for money, and the movies do nothing for his reputation. I mean, he does have the occasional winners like The Shining and The Green Mile, but most of it is tripe garbage that shouldn't see the light of day.

Also on a side note, what is it with this new video store that I found? I mean, sure, I'm tickled pink to finally be able to get my hands on Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2, but they keep suckering me in with awful copies of movies. The copy of Invasion of the Body Snatchers I got from them had footage that wasn't supposed to be there, and today the video for The Tommyknockers has 40 minutes chopped off it. I mean really, can't they even try to get the right versions of the movies. And don't even get me started on the glaring absences from their selection. What video store carries Night of the Living Dead and Day of the Dead, but doesn't carry Dawn of the Dead! They are killing me here. OK, mini-rants over, let's get to it.

The Tommyknockers starts off in a quiet little town in (huge surprise here) Maine, where we are introduced to our main characters, Jim Gardner (played by the miscast Jimmy Smits) and Bobbi Anderson (Marg Helgenberger). Jim is an alcoholic poet who hasn't written a good poem in a while, and Bobbi is a novelist with a serious case of writer's block. All and all, they make the perfect pair, and life isn't half bad for the couple. There are some other characters as well, but nobody that we really care about.

Life takes a sudden change when Bobbi finds a strange object protruding from the ground one day in the forest nearby. The object gives off a green glow, and offers up some strange side effects as well. Suddenly Bobbi is able to create spectacular mechanical devices that couldn't even be conceived before. While Jim is hesitant to accept all this at first, he does agree to keep Bobbi's secret.

Well, the secret doesn't last to long, as the changes start to take place all over town. The townspeople are all suddenly under the spell of "The Tommyknockers", able to achieve great things, while losing the ability to love and enjoy life. Yep, we can all see how this one is going to turn out.

Anyway, I don't mind telling you that "The Tommyknockers" are actually long dead aliens that have found a way to suck the life out of the townspeople to bring themselves back, and the object in the forest is their spaceship. Why don't I mind telling you that? Because some of you already know, and anyone who doesn't know will likely never view this abomination of a movie.

Let me start out by saying that I have nothing against the acting in the film. While Smits in no way should be playing Jim, he does carry the performance quite well. Helgenberger is good as always, and the supporting cast, while mostly forgetable, did an adequate job of delivering their lines.

The main problem with having a movie with an actual cast is that you have to give them something to say. Now, if this was a silent film, I think I could have enjoyed this one a little more. Unfortunately, we are treated to a cliche, empty, and all-around abysmal attempt of a script. "If something was to happen to Bobbi, you might have an accident...(dramatic pause)...A fatal accident." Really, thanks for sharing that, as if we couldn't tell you were threating the guy's life. And if I heard one more way of Bobbi telling Jim how she wanted to share, discover, and experience the whole "becoming" process again, I think I would have to hunt Helgenberger down and smack her in the mouth. Utterly awful stuff to have to endure...trust me on that.

Do you want to know what may be worse than the dialogue? Well, it's the special effects, I do guarantee. Aren't sci-fi films supposed to guarantee at least good special effects, if nothing else? Is that too much to ask. Honestly, the green glow that encompasses 95% of the film is so unbelievably cartoonish in nature that it's almost appalling, the aliens themselves are an eye sore (in a not good way), and the scenery itself is flawed. Throw in some poor camera work and a dumb ending, and you have yourself a pretty sad film.

Overall, I gave the film two stars on the acting abilities alone, as everything else about the film is better left unspoken of. Luckily, with this film I did rent some rather good other horror flicks (Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, The Exorcist, Night of the Living Dead) and some not so good ones (Scanners, The Omen), so I have a lot of stuff to write about over the next few days. Plus, American Pie 2 comes out tomorrow, so you can expect a review about it by midday. Till then, HAVE A NICE DAY!

Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: VHS
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age