I needed to watch a “Z” movie, so I picked this one. I’m going back to find another “Z” movie because this one was bad. Really bad.

I’m not sure if a time frame was mentioned in this movie, but I can only deduce it was in the future because of some of the special effects used. This was kind of a poor man’s Matrix, another movie I didn’t understand, even after 14 viewings.

Zeiramu or Zeram, whichever you want to call it, is a fanciful tale of a female bounty hunter named Iria (Yuko Moriyama) and her sidekick, the computer generated Bob, that come to Earth to find an escaped bio-tech robotic creature known as Zeram (Zeiramu).

First, I must interject – I have always admired the fact that the Japanese place a high value on the heroines in their movies. They always give them a powerful role, as opposed to the lame roles that American movies give their women. Anyway, just my take on that.

Now --- Zeiramu is, uh, Lord, this is a tough one. At first he appears looking similar to the standard Japanese samurai warrior in a long cloak and hat. This hat, now, that is another thing. It looks like a boomerang sitting up top his head, only huge, and oh, yeah, right in the center of the front (you know where our baseball logo would be) is a head. Yep, a head. It is small and pure white, like a Geisha girl, but evillllll. Oh, my, yes, it is evil. It can also stretch itself out, off the hat and it looks something like that head that comes out of the aliens mouth in Alien. Unfortunately, I am not giving this menace justice, it must be seen to be enjoyed. When he walks they use a distinctive sound, but thud, thud, thud is a good description.

Unfortunately Zeiramu has the ability to turn into other things, not pretty things I might add. He can also expel a substance that he spews on the ground and it, too, turns into some sort of creature. This one looks a little like a demented ET but isn’t nearly as nice.

Iria and Bob realize that Zeiramu is not your normal monster, so they are reduced to setting up something known as ‘The Zone’, a nonexistent, nonresident area that mirrors the Earth. In other words, the dang Zeiramu will think he is on Earth, but is in fact in a space vacuum created by Bob, the computer. On the screen, Bob looks like a top, my best description.

Thrown into this incredible mix are two dingbats that work for the electric company. First you are forced to listen to the mindless babble of these idiots as one discusses the fact that his wife has left him and the other admits he is the one that the guys wife is boinking. They both get a big kick out of the entire thing. Anyway, somehow they get mixed up in this time warp screw-up and land in this nonexistent ‘Zone’, staring the Zeiramu right in the peekers.

Of course, they are idiots so it doesn’t really matter. I would assume the main reason they are even around is the electric connection thing. Before the end of the movie their talents are required.

So, here we are on Earth, this incredible shape changing monster, the two bumbling idiots and this undeniably sexy, sensual and adapt lady. She does have a lot of cute toys at her disposal, I’ll give her that, and one darn nice bazooka, but Zeiramu has a lot going for him as well. Anyway, on to a lot of fighting, etc., etc., etc. Flashy sets and kickboxing. I’m stopping here.

sitting on the sidelines
Oh honey, I have definitely seen better. My, my yes. Even with all the action this bad boy was slow to the nth degree. Too much jammed into too little time. Confusing at best and unbelievable beyond even that.

Too many computer generations, too much time with those bumbling idiots, the lighting was poor, the sound morose. Iria was cute as a button, but she ain’t all that and Zeiramu was for the most part a stumbling fool. He did have some nifty accruements though, but it wasn’t enough to pull the dang movie out of the gutter.

Although ……… his ability to turn into a fetching spider was awesome!

I’d like to recommend this bad boy but I just can’t bring myself to do it!

Directed by Keita Amamiya, and written by Keita Amamiya.

Poof!

Recommended: No

Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age
Special Effects: Well at least you can't see the strings