Plot Details: This opinion reveals major details about the movie's plot.

With this review I feel wretched. I feel soiled and undeserving; like I’m cheating on my beloved Stephen (King, that is). But I have to be honest. This movie sucked.

Now I’m not gonna dis you, Mr. King, no sirree. I read the book, or “Novella” as some would call it. You did your job. Not your best, but not your worst (that honor goes to The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon). Maybe it’s the syndrome that all movies made from books go through: the “It’s not as good as the book” malady. Maybe it’s because it was made into a TV movie, though I don’t see where curse words or wanton sex could’ve helped this particular plot. Or perhaps some things are just meant to be read.

Here’s the rundown: A plane full of passengers is taking the red-eye flight out of L.A. to parts East. Well, as you might expect, they hit a time warp, much like turbulence and only the people who had been asleep when they went through survived. That gives us an unlikely but workable 10 friends picked to live in a plane long enough to stop being nice and start getting real.

Enter Balkie, or Bronson Pinchot, the best of the funky bunch. He plays a stressed out business man so well you know he must have worked in the postal system before making it big on Perfect Strangers. His eyes dart around furtively and are tinged in red. He is constantly sweating like a pig. He speaks clearly and not with that bizarre voice that he used when he was Balkie: a fact I find a little disconcerting. Seems he hates everybody who gets in the way of his business meetings, even if they are the only 10 people left on Earth.

There are other characters, a pilot, a blind girl, a hitman, etc., but they all pale in comparison to Pinchot’s evil character.

Back to the Airplane. The pilot (whew, what luck he’s still living) lands the plane on the ground, only to find a similar situation at the airport. No one is around, there is no noise, no wind blowing the clouds and the clocks don’t move. The food is bland and paper-like, the drinks flat, the matches unlightable. But wait, there is some noise, some niggling little sound like a swarm of locusts, but what is it?

You guessed it! The Langoliers. Think of Pac-man meeting Jaws from that old James Bond movie. And the noise they hear is them eating up yesterday and the day before; how soon will they get to today? It’s an interesting concept about what happens to the past: it is eaten. Would you have thought of that? Me neither, that’s why I’m making a penny a hit here and not signing books out in L.A. myself.

Turns out that Pinchot could’ve identified these sounds for them long ago, if only they’d listened. His dear old father told him as much in twisted bedtime stories. Gee, Beav. The 10 strangers battle the Langoliers and the horrible (but wonderful) Pinchot in the fight of their lives.

Well, I don’t want to ruin it for you, since you may want to watch it, but not everyone is gonna make it. No big deal, right? Any movie worth it’s salt has a few casualties.

The special effects that everyone raves about are indeed special. You and I can make them on our computers, too! They are so good, there is no chance you will believe them, not even for a minute. You know, the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park were made by computers, too, but they LOOKED real! These pac-men on crack just look like a video game in hell.

The acting in this movie was serviceable and believable to a degree. But boring and tedious describe it, too as well as unimaginative. I expect that might be my own attempt were I so inclined to act.

This movie runs a solid 3 hours, so if you get it on video know that it’s simply not The Gladiator.

If you are looking for a good Stephen King movie, might I suggest Salem’s Lot? It is old, but still quite wonderful! Alas, stay away from the Tommyknockers. Even Jimmy Smit couldn’t save it.






Recommended: No

Viewing Format: VHS
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older