Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie's plot.

You know, I try and be objective – I try so hard – but can someone explain to me how on Earth a piece of trash like this can have anywhere near a three star average rating here? I mean sure I can see the whole thought process behind this film; a story about a couple of teenagers filled to the brim with angst that decide to go on a road trip and end up discovering fun, talking headless shopkeepers, the liberal use of expletives in every… single… sentence… they speak, and loads of unnecessary sex on the way.

Oh wait, Rose McGowen is nekkid – repeatedly.

I looked forward to the film because it was touted as one chick’s road trip – sort-of a Thelma without Louise scenario. You know, angry, adventurous, out to wreak some general havoc. I suppose, however, I should have had some idea where things were going to go when I realized that the main characters of the film were named Xavier Red (Johnathon Schaech, The Forsaken), Jordan White (James Duval, Donnie Darko, Comic Book Villains), and Amy Blue (Rose McGowan, Scream, Jawbreaker). I have absolutely no idea what the “patriotic” symbolism of that is to this day.

The main gist is that Amy and Jordan (two bored teenagers) decide (decide may be too strong of a word as the two never seem to make any decisions of their own throughout the entire film) to go on a trip. It sets up as though it might be a cross country trip but to be honest, with the exception of the few “quickie marts” they stop in at the pair doesn’t really seem to get all too far away from where they originally started.

Early on they meet up with Xavier who hits it off with the dimwitted Jordan immediately but does nothing other than banter back and forth insults with Amy. In no time he and Amy are sleeping together (because I know that’s what I’d want to do if someone were constantly tossing out expletives directed at me). Oh, they continue to banter about insults, they just have sex also. Amy explains to her boyfriend, Jordan, that sex with Xavier really is nothing because she truly loves Jordan. Soon enough the three of them just end up together in bed. Amy and Xavier still shower each other with insults.

As the threesome drive on they encounter someone at each stop who seems to know Amy – only by a different name. Eventually this results in Xavier killing the people as they become more aggressive in their assertions that Amy is the person they think they know her as. Toward the end of the film the tables are turned on the threesome when a distraught guy and his friends surprise them in an attempt to teach Amy a lesson. Amy and Xavier cannot shower each other with insults anymore as he is quickly knocked unconscious.

The film ends as it began. There was no point to it. There was no message to get across. There was neither rhyme nor reason to anything that any of these characters did. For the most part you were left simply wondering why the hell the film was made in the first place, be it for teenagers, twenty-something’s, or the average filmgoer.

Oh wait, Rose McGowen is nekkid – repeatedly.

Sorry Rose, it just wasn’t enough.

Recommended: No

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age