One Million Years BC (1966)

Before there were history books, primitive man battled with Nature so that their descendants could have the blessings of indoor plumbing, fast food restaurants, and 9-to-5 jobs. Luckily for us, we have the recently released One Million Years BC to show us just how tough our ancestors had it.

One such man is Tumak (John Richardson); a prominent member of the Rock People. Tumak has an attitude problem, quarrels with his father, and is banished from his tribe - actually, he is thrown out of the hillside cave and saved from a messy death by bushes breaking his fall. Tumak sets out on a journey of discovery, apparently never having ventured far from his rocky home. We are amazed to see a gigantic Brontosaurus and a huge Iguana lizard as Tumak treks across the vast wasteland. He stops to refresh himself at a watering hole inside a cave and narrowly avoids being captured by a tribe of ape men, more primitive than he. There is danger in every direction and only Tumak's extremely sharp wits keep him alive.

After many days, Tumak comes to the seashore where he discovers a tribe of blonde cave people - the Shell Tribe, a prominent member of which is Loana AKA Raquel Welch

In contrast to the hairy, brunette Rock People, the blonde Shell People are more advanced, having developed an improved flint-tipped spear, hair care and cosmetics for women, and the push-up bra. Collapsing from exhaustion, Tumak is saved by the courageous efforts of Loana when they are suddenly attacked by a gigantic sea turtle. Back at the cave, the Shell People show Tumak all their advancements, including sewing, painting, and probably the world's first classroom where young cave people are taught whatever it is that cave people learned.

Alas, Tumak quarrels with the leader of the Shell People and is once again banished. Loana chooses to follow him and the leader presents him with one of the new improved flint tipped spears as a parting gift. The rest of the film covers more encounters with dinosaurs, the first-ever war, and a cataclysmic volcanic eruption.

Raquel Welch became an icon based on her lithe figure clad in an animal skin bikini. Any acting displayed was minimal, but everyone who has seen this will remember her, if nothing else.

Whatever else there is to say about One Million Years BC, undoubtedly the second best feature is the stop motion animation of special effects wizard Ray Harryhausen (Jason and the Argonauts, Clash of the Titans). The dinosaurs are very nicely done and interact well with the humans. Harryhausen's animation often has a charm about it that the more perfect CGI imagery today lacks.

One Million Years BC would be great campy fun except that it takes itself too seriously. The screenplay has little imagination and there is almost no speaking so everything must be pantomimed, but usually badly. The two things that will keep this film on the radar screen are Raquel Welch and the dinosaurs. A great movie for teenage boys.

The DVD is by Fox, in 1.85:1 theatrical format with color by DeLuxe, and runs 91 minutes. There is an extra feature comparing the original print with the new version, which has been restored. Oddly, for a film with no dialog, there are subtitles in English and Spanish.

Adults can see this once but kids will watch it over and over.

Thanks for reading!

Recommended:
Yes

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: None of the Above