Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers: The Producer’s Cut:
Dimension Films
Rating: USA: R

When fellow movie critic Scott29 contacted me and asked me if I’d be interested in participating in a ‘1 star horror movie write-off’, I jumped at the opportunity without really thinking. First off, the idea of purposely sitting down and watching something that I know sucks seems sort of insane. It’s one thing to pick up a movie you’re not familiar with and find out it blows, but quite another to actively go out and subject yourself to a movie you know has serious problems. But, hey, I’ve got a masochistic streak, apparently.

Unfortunately, I’m bending the rules a bit. First off, I’m posting this a few hours later than I was supposed to. I moved recently, and my videos are all in boxes. Needless to say, Halloween 6 wasn’t my original choice. I was planning on going with either the fifth installment in the series, or even the really horrific Night of the Demons 3 for this little shindig, but I couldn’t find either of them. No problem, because this film is equally inept, for the most part.

However, after viewing it for the review, I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t give it a mere 1 star rating in good conscience. Yes, this movie fails in just about every way conceivable (and you’ll get all the gory details once I’m done prattling here), but the mere presence of Donald Pleasance compels me to give this film an extra star. So, my apologies for not following all of the rules in advance.

Okay, enough rambling from me…onto the review.

Back in 1978, director John Carpenter unleashed his horror film, Halloween, on unsuspecting American audiences. The film had a meager budget, no real stars, and no advertising budget. However, something magical happened once the film was released—audiences liked it and started talking about. Soon after, the critics got in on the act, and the tiny independent film started showing on more and more screens nationwide.

Based on the success of the first film (and greedy producer Moustapha Akkad’s desire to continue making money off the one idea he had in his life), sequels were inevitable. Carpenter and partner Debra Hill stuck around for part 2 (although Rick Rosenthal handled the directorial duties), and Carpenter compatriot Tommy Lee Wallace took control for part 3 (which has nothing to do with the rest of the series). After vicious slasher film icon Michael Myers’ apparent death in part 2, and the box office disaster that was the third film, it appeared as though the series had officially ended. Ah, but never understimate Akkad’s greed.

Akkad brought Myers back for more of the same in part 4, which started off strongly, then quickly became caught up in slasher film convention (and tedium) before giving us an odd, yet intriguing, ending. Part 5 attempted to add some new elements (in the form of a strange man with a weird tattoo on his wrist, a black duster, and cowboy boots), but was pretty worthless too. All signs pointed to a part 6, but it took years to actually hit the screen—because not even Akkad knew who this mysterious man in black was. Frankly, once you hear the explanation in part 6, you’ll probably wish they’d just dropped the character entirely.

The Curse of Michael Myers

Halloween 6 had a long and arduous production process—from the problems finding a good script, on through to difficulties in the shooting (Dimension reportedly cut the FX budget during the principal photography and funneled the money into Hellraiser: Bloodlines. Of course, they might as well have taken the money and flushed it down the toilet instead...), and even with test audiences, who reacted poorly to the original cut of the film. Because of this reaction, director Joe Chappelle did extensive re-shooting and a new version of the film was the one that hit the screens.

However, that original cut lived on, in the form of a bootleg workprint simply referred to as The Producer’s Cut. In some ways, this version is like a whole new film—but that doesn’t make it suck any less.

The plot here is a convoluted mess, and to be totally honest, I’m not really looking forward to explaining it with any depth. Basically, it’s your typical Halloween film infused with a whole lot of mystical mumbo jumbo.

Jamie Loyd (who was the focal point of parts 4 and 5, and was the daughter of Jamie Lee Curtis’ Laurie Strode character) has been missing and presumed dead since the conclusion of the 5th film. However, she’s not dead—she’s just been kidnapped by some weird people who are keeping her in some deserted hospital until she gives birth.

She does this, and the weird people (who are involved with our infamous ‘man in black’) who are holding her hostage seem to want the baby for their own. The problem is, one ‘nurse’ has a crisis of conscience and let’s Jamie and the baby go. The weird cult guys send Myers after her. He gets his woman (he always does, it seems), but not before she calls a radio call in show (yeah right) and tells the world (and Donald Pleasance in particular) that Michael is still loose. He doesn’t get the baby, though.

In another, seemingly unrelated, story Kara Strode (Marianne Hagan) and her son Danny have moved back home to Haddonfield to live with her abusive father, mousy mother, and doofy brother. There’s all sorts of familial tension (witnessed during a scene were Dad pops Kara one upside the head for mouthing off to him), and no one but dear old dad knows that they’re living in the infamous Myers house.

Meanwhile, in yet another convoluted plot element, Tommy Doyle (Paul Rudd) is living across the street keeping an eye on the Myers house. Astute fans will recognize the name Tommy Doyle—Tommy was the kid Laurie Strode was babysitting in the original film. He’s been traumatized by his run in with Michael, but he’s obsessed with figuring out why he kills and how to stop him.

And finally, we have Donald Pleasance reprising his role as Dr. Sam Loomis. In the earlier films, Loomis was like Captain Ahab, obsessed with tracking down the great evil that was Michael Myers no matter what the cost (including his own life). When we find Loomis here, we see that he’s toned down and retired. He’s still interested in Michael, but he’s clearly not the man he was before (which could have well been because Pleasance had aged a lot in the years between part 5 and part 6, and would die before this film was released). Loomis is visited by Dr. Wynn (Mitch Ryan), head of the Smith’s Grove mental institute, who hopes to talk Loomis into coming out of retirement.

From there, it all plays out like you’d expect…sort of. Myers comes back to Haddonfield (which is celebrating its first Halloween since 1989), kills everyone who gets in his way, etc. What makes it different is the whole ‘Thorn’ angle…which is basically the mystical mumbo jumbo I alluded to earlier.

It turns out the most outlandish plot development in this series wasn’t part 2’s revelation that Laurie Strode was Michael’s sister, but instead is that Michael is controlled by some druidic cult in Haddonfield who believe in the evil power of the thorn rune. Oy vey…

All of this leads to a really silly ending (and middle too, where it’s revealed that Michael was the father of Jamie’s child) where the unstoppable masked madman is held in place by a few drops of blood and some runes.

Critical Analysis

Frankly, trying to critically analyze Halloween 6 is probably a waste of time (and man oh man, have I wasted a lot of time on this review already…) but, in the spirit of being complete, let’s give it a go.

Daniel Farrands has written one of the dumbest scripts ever here. Oh, it tries to be serious and different, but really, it’s just the same old slasher film with a lot of gobbledygook mysticism thrown in to make it seem a lot more profound than it really is.

This might work, if everyone acted intelligently, and there weren’t plot holes big enough to drive a truck through occurring about once every five minutes. Here are just a few of the really dumb things that happen in the film:

When Jamie escapes with her baby at the beginning of the film, she has a truck. She drives this truck for awhile, then stops at a deserted bus station to use the phone, allowing our slasher to catch up with her. Would you stop at a deserted bus station if you already had a perfectly good vehicle and a head start? I didn’t think so.

More stupefying is the fact that Jamie stashes her baby under the sink in the men’s room at the bus station, but no one finds the baby until the middle of the next day when Tommy Doyle conveniently walks in and hears the crying.

After that, Doyle walks out with the baby (after he’d walked in empty-handed) and simply keeps the kid—never turns it over to the authorities, nothing.

Wynn and Loomis get a call that Jamie Loyd has been found stabbed in Haddonfield. They leave from Smith’s Grove and head for the small town. When they arrive, they’re just carting her to the ambulance. Even if you discount that Smith’s Grove is reported to be like 3 hours away from Haddonfield earlier in the series, I have a hard time believing they let her lie in a field with a knife in her stomach for more than a few minutes.

Tommy tapes Jamie’s phone call from the radio show on his reel to reel tape recorder. He plays it back and you can hear static in the background. He rewinds it, plays it again, and amazingly enough, you can now hear what was merely static moments before.

One more…Myers has always had a thing with killing his sisters, but apparently that was too limiting for a 6th film. Now, he wants to kill any family member of his. Of course, you don’t even have to be a blood relation…you just have to live in his house.

Those are just a few of the glaringly dumb things in this film. Believe me, there are many many more.

The performances are all pretty lame. Rudd is okay, I suppose. The idea of bringing back Tommy Doyle is actually pretty decent (although, you know Farrands just cribbed it from the Friday the 13th films, which brought back Tommy Jarvis a few years prior). Hagan isn’t very good at all, particularly in a few instances where she’s actually supposed to emote. It’s painful to watch this woman try to do anything emotional convincingly.

Donald Pleasance (who’d single-handedly carried the films from part 4 on) gives it a go here, but he’s clearly not feeling well and showing his age. He doesn’t get many ‘Loomis’ moments, lines where he gets to melodramatically expound on the nature of evil and stuff like that. The film is weaker because of it.

Danielle Harris (who was Jamie Loyd in parts 4 and 5) wasn’t asked back for this installment (apparently it was a money issue), so JC Brandy takes over the role. Personally, they should have paid Ms. Harris whatever she wanted.

The direction is no better than the acting. Chappelle has made one of the blandest, most visually unappealing horror films in a long time. There aren’t any major blunders here behind the camera (most of those occur in the theatrically released cut), but there aren’t any moments that really jump out and grab you, either. The scare scenes aren’t very scary, and as usual, there are numerous ‘fake out’ scares littered throughout the film.

Theatrical Cut vs. Producer’s Cut

Finally, let’s take a few minutes and talk about the differences between the theatrical release and the unreleased producer’s cut (which is, inexplicably, one of my most popular tapes as far as trading goes).

The best thing the producer’s cut has going for it is that it features a lot more Donald Pleasance. Pleasance is the one saving grace in this mess, even in his diminishing health, and any version that lets him have some screentime is okay in my book.

Right off the bat, the opening titles sequence is different (none of that quick cut montage stuff in the producer’s cut, thank god) and the opening monologue is done by Pleasance instead of Paul Rudd.

Jamie dies differently in this version. In the theatrical release, she gets impaled on some thresher-like contraption. Here, she’s simply stabbed, and later killed in the hospital by the man in black. It’s here, while in the hospital, that she dreams about Michael impregnating here.

Many other scenes are longer than the ones featured in the theatrical cut—I’ll leave that up to you as far as whether that’s a good thing or not.

The most significant changes involve the ending. Here, Loomis gets a much larger role, the ‘Tommy-bashes-Michael-with-a-lead-pipe’ bit is entirely excised, and Michael never goes nuts and kills everyone in that weird operating room.

The final shot is much better as well, and serves to tie up the loose ends rather effectively, while still setting up a sequel (which would never come because the theatrical cut tanked at the theaters, and Halloween: H2O essentially ignored parts 3-6 completely).

Overall, there’s more story, more explanation of the thorn rune stuff (although it’s still mumbo jumbo if you ask me), more Donald Pleasance, and about the same amount of gore (although, thank god Mr. Strode’s head doesn’t explode from the electrocution in the producer’s cut).

Conclusions

While I find the producer’s cut of Halloween 6 to be superior to the theatrical cut, it’s still not a very good film. Flat direction, a nonsensical script and bland performances all conspire to bring it down. Donald Pleasance can’t save this one, and perhaps the saddest thing of all is that this abomination was his last film. Certainly, he deserved better than this.

At any rate, the bootleg producer’s cut is worth a look for Halloween completists, but don’t go in expecting the changes to make this play like a whole new film—it might be different, but it still sucks.

Now, check out the entries from these fine writers:

scott29
anderclayton
macresarf1
machkick
kenshin-guy
shadow8
wretchedpyro
tinasamuels
lisaatucla
Matt_Harney
erikmovieman
mangiotto
montepenny



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