Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie's plot.

My DVD collection tends to contain 2 primary elements, Jackie Chan and Star Wars related movies. How fitting that my “Beyond Star Wars” reviews begin with George Lucas’ own favorite spoof, Hardware Wars. I remember seeing this “movie” a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. I couldn’t believe it when I found it on DVD! That was back in the day when personal DVD recorders weren't yet widely available.

I suppose some younger Star Wars fans, if anyone, may not have ever seen this. It is, after all, almost as old as the movie it was born of, and though it's not been impossible to find, it has not exactly been in every corner movie rental place over the years either.

So what exactly is it?  It’s a 13 minute feature put together like a preview trailer. Narrated by Paul Frees it follows Fluke Starbucker and Ham Salad as they rescue Princess Anne-Droid from Darph Nader. Fluke learns the ways of the Red Eye Knights from Augie Ben Doggie. Fluke: “What? Did you have a feeling like millions of voices cried out and were suddenly silenced?”
Augie: “No, just a headache.”
The whole plot of Star Wars A New Hope is covered from the first attack on Leia’s Blockade Runner to the destruction of the Death Star in just under a quarter of an hour.

Yeah, but anybody can come up with funny names like Fluke for Luke and Ham for Han. What really sets this short film apart from others is its space scenes. It’s not called "Hardware Wars" for nothing. The Millennium Falcon is an iron, the Death Star is a waffle iron, and TIE fighters are mixers. Besides the hilarity of seeing these things fly around like space ships the campiness is multiplied by the number of wires visible. The wires aren’t due to low budget... well, that’s not exactly true. Perhaps it would be better to say that they serve the purpose of giving the show a particular feel that would have been lessened had they been less visible.

In other words, the budget constraints are irrelevant; the wires and other crappy effects are a large part of what makes this film as great as it is. Many movies spoof plots and characters, how many have you seen also spoof the industry? Spaceballs has a little of that when Dark Helmet kills a cameraman, but Hardware Wars is wall-to-wall goofy production.

You won’t walk away feeling like you learned something about life, you won’t spend hours discussing the finer nuances of the plot, but you may get a stomach ache from laughing too hard.

There isn’t much negative I can say about the film, at least within its context. I could make a big deal about how bad the effects are and how silly the acting is, but, as I’m sure you’ve figured out by now, that’s the whole point of the thing. If you can’t handle that you’re going to hate the movie. I do wish they had spent a little more time with the final battle. I can’t figure out what Fluke is supposed to be doing (flying what serves as his X-Wing, of course, but it looks more like he's playing a video game) and the last explosion is over too quickly. I would like to have seen more of the Wookie Monster, and the hyperspace joke is a little too long. I also don’t get the rat joke, or rather, the graffiti on wall behind the rat. These are all minor things, though. I love the cinnamon bun hair-do, the tractor beam (as in farm equipment tractors), the dune buggy in place of Luke’s landspeeder, and the flashlight-in-fog lightsabers. Plenty of laughs!

Content:
There may be some very mild language in the extra features, but the movie itself is not even questionable. It might even be rated G except for 1 half-second shot of full frontal nudity. She looks like a Playboy centerfold thrown in I guess for shock value. If you can walk in front of the screen at the right time, you can let anybody, even little kids, watch the film.

DVD:
The original release of Hardware Wars as far as I can remember was included on a tape of various comical short films the most memorable of which (other than this one, of course) was Bambi Meets Godzilla. The DVD, though, is 100% HW. Paying for 13 minutes worth of movie doesn’t sound like too good a deal, but there’s actually about an hour’s worth of entertainment - still not as much as a feature-length film, but plenty of fun for us Star Wars geeks.

My primary disappointment with the content is also the biggest sore spot with the whole release; that is the lack of the Special Edition. In keeping with the re-release of the Star Wars movies, a parody of those updates was done with Hardware Wars. I fully expected that version to be on the DVD. Why wouldn’t it be? But it’s not. You only get the original version. I just figure that with no more than an hour’s worth of stuff, there is plenty of room to include another half hour for the SE and a commentary. The SE is available on VHS, so it wouldn’t surprise me to see a DVD version come out at some point. I just hope it’s different enough to justify owning it along with this one.

The menus are humorous and feature animation and sound effects giving the feel of a patchwork control panel that could blow up at any second.

The audio and video quality isn’t great, but when you’re watching a movie with visible strings what do you expect? It’s still better than dealing with VHS.

Extras:
There are about 3 times more extras than actual movie so this release takes you far beyond watching Hardware Wars. Be forewarned, though, most if not all these extras are just as much a parody of DVD features as the movie is of Star Wars.

The Prequel is more like an intro. When I heard prequel I though it would be more like Darph Nader as a kid and Augie Ben Doggie in training. Since that was what I was expecting what I got was initially disappointing though it has grown on me and cracks me up every time I watch it now. It’s called "Antique Sideshow" with a woman who has found the original film reel of Hardware Wars under her house and is having it appraised by an expert. The claim is made that George Lucas stole his ideas from Hardware Wars then had all copies destroyed. How one survived is a mystery, but it’s one of a kind. What’s it worth? I won’t tell you. This isn’t as great as the prequel I was hoping for would have been, but it’s still a lot of fun.

The commentary by Ernie Fosselius is more a parody of commentaries than an information source. It plays out like a skit at first with him arguing with the techs then stressing out because he doesn’t know enough movie lingo to fill the whole time. Then he acts angry as he pretends he’s just now figuring out that he got ripped off by the special effects team. Some of it is pretty boring, mostly in the middle when he’s going on about the type of iron he bought. Other parts start out boring until the punchline hits. The disappointment here is that you get no serious information about the movie at all. I would have preferred a second commentary with some actual info about the creation process.

The "Creature Feature" is probably my favorite segment other than the movie itself. I thought it was a mock TV episode, but I have since then seen information that makes me wonder if this might not have been an actual show. Either way the host is so dorky he’s fun to watch. He doesn’t have a lot of personality, but Ernie has enough for both of them. It ends up being a really comical contrast. Ernie is primarily talking about Hardware Wars merchandise. One is the album “Sounds of Space.” But since space is a vacuum through which sound can’t travel, the record is blank. I don’t know how Ernie keeps a straight face, but he really makes you feel like he takes this completely seriously which makes it that much more funny. If there’s any good reason to watch the DVD, this is it!

The "Foreign Version" is again just a parody. It’s a slightly different edit of the movie with a different soundtrack and gibberish replacing the dialogue (it sounds like it’s supposed to be Dutch, but obviously isn’t). I found it mostly pretty boring.

The "Director’s Cut" is pretty good. While the soundtrack from the film plays a string of alternate takes and bloopers play roughly following the scenes of the movie. It’s funny and gives you a glimpse, small as it may be, into what went on during the creation of the film.

There is a Michael Weise interview that is worth watching. He’s on a college campus talking to film students about Hardware Wars (he was the producer). It’s entertaining and informative.

There is a behind the scenes gallery that is OK, but too short. I would like to have seen more behind the scenes features in general.

The last extra is the book "Gag Gifts For Film Makers" by Ernie Fosselius. It’s the entire book as far as I can tell in a slideshow gallery type format. There are a lot of funny gags, but it’s fairly lengthy; you may end up wanting to read it over a couple of sittings.

Final Thoughts:
The extras are not all flawless examples of top-notch comedy, but there’s some great stuff here beyond the film. If you know a little about what to expect and are a Hardware Wars fan already, I think you’ll get a kick out of a lot of it. Any serious Star Wars fan HAS to see Hardware Wars especially if you also enjoy spoofs. If you’re just now figuring out that this long lost treasure is out on DVD, grab it up. It’s as good as you remember and well worth the price. It doesn’t get a 5* rating because it doesn’t include the Special Edition or enough real behind-the-scenes info. It does get 4* for laugh factor, originality, and Star Wars related material.

Recommended: Yes

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: Good for Groups
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older