"Anaconda" has a cast with some talented actors, a menacing monster, a scary unexplored jungle location, personality conflicts between the characters, and yet, somehow with all this, the movie stank. Movies similar to this have been done well "Jaws", "Alien" and countless films where animals attack. There were some good moments in the film, but so many things were done wrong that it truly disheartened me.

"Anaconda" has a rather thin plot premise, and it doesn't really want to offer any surprises. Early on, we see an unusually large, and inexperienced, documentary crew starting their journey into the dense jungle to find the mysterious 'people of the mist'. Large casts in a movie like this only serve one purpose: to be dwindled down. It was almost like they were wearing red shirts from the original Star Trek series.

Judging just from the people making this film, it should have been a better one. I really liked the director, Luis Llosa's, earlier work "Sniper". Owen Wilson ("Shanghai Noon") and Jennifer Lopez ("Out of Sight") give early performances before their break-out work. Eric Stoltz is in the picture, but you would hardly ever notice. Danny Trejo ("Con Air", "Spy Kids") is usually a great presence in any film, but gets killed in the opening scene. Kari Wuher has always been a favorite of mine (and she actually made an episode of "Sliders" with almost this same plot). Ice Cube has never impressed me, and he certainly doesn't here. And then there is Jon Voight who was just starting to make movies again after a long sabbatical. We realize he's going to be the bad guy once we start to notice how much like a snake he acts with his pronunciation and movements.

This film has some extremely horrible dialogue. It just sounded like the characters were recycling the worst lines from other films! "Ever notice how the jungle makes you horny?". Another problem with the film is when plot elements defy science so badly that we cannot get past the film being a fantasy. Everyone believed that the shark in "Jaws" could have been real. I was willing to believe that an Anaconda could grow to 40 feet, although the largest discovered so far is just under 30 feet. However, I am not willing to believe that they can defy gravity as this one does. I also cannot believe that a giant Anaconda can digest his food any faster than a smaller one can. I have trouble believing the scene where two people are being squeezed at the same time without being bitten first like every other character. Actually, I know the reason was for the sake of the plot. I also very reluctantly believe that Anacondas regurgitate their food occasionally. I refuse to believe that it is just for the sake of eating it again. This did make one very interesting scene, although its horror was ruined with a wink. I also liked the camera shot from within the snake as it ate a person, yet as was pointed out by my friend, it is pretty rare that a snake would be in a straight line for 15' or so.

There are some major problems with the general plot of the film as well. Supposedly just one person set out to capture this. This wouldn't be possible just due to the size. I was also confused as to if there is more than one giant 40' Anaconda. We see one get shot in the head, and I think we are supposed to think it was killed. When it (or another one) is seen again, I don't understand. If there are hundreds of them, why did we only see one up until the end? Doesn't this hurt the whole mystique of this one giant guardian snake if there are dozens living in the jungle?

A lot has been said about the legendary Jon Voight appearing here. He was the most talented actor in the cast, although he never shows it here. There are some neat things about his character. I especially like the scene when he killed someone like a snake would. But they didn't do his character completely right. He apparently only did it for money? He had a scar but nothing was ever said about it. I suspected he had been attacked by a snake that bit his face and escaped, but this was never specified.

None of the other characters ever seemed above caricatures. In the beginning, as the characters are introduced, we can predict who is future snakefood, survivor, early victim, etc.. There were far too many characters to seem believable on this documentary cruise. One early odd scene is when two people go out for a walk in the jungle late at night. We hear noises, expect the worse, but then they survive. I was confused. Just how many people were going to survive after all? Well fortunately we soon start getting people picked off fairly quickly, and pretty much in the order one would suspect.

The documentary finale was a ridiculous attempt at making a happy ending. Most movies end with the few survivors escaping back to civilization. This one has over 80% of the characters killed, but the returning ones are happy to find that they are still able to film their documentary about a mysterious Amazon tribe!?

There are some good things about the film. Some of the acting is good. Most scenes with the snake are very cool. I was surprised at how destructive the snake seemed. We don't just see it wrap around its prey. Instead it grabs its prey (usually by the head) and drags it back into its coils, crushing the prey to death with sounds of cracking bones. I also liked the location shots. I was surprised that it wasn't all filmed on location in Brazil, and instead (I could never tell) that it was filmed on the old Fantasy Island set!

This film had far too many problems to make up for what did work, and that always depresses me.


Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: VHS
Video Occasion: Good for Groups
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older