Plot Details: This opinion reveals major details about the movie's plot.

Of all the different lists of bad movies that I've seen on the internet, Batman & Robin is the one that has ended up as the #1 stinker of all time the most. And for good reason. This film singlehandedly flushed the once lucrative Batman franchise down the proverbial toilet. Yes Batman Forever started it down the crapper but Batman & Robin was the final flush....the "coup de' gras" if you will. Stinking worse than a cave full of bat droppings, no bad movie write-off would be complete without this film.

8 years. Thats all it took to destroy a franchise that started so well back in 1989 with Tim Burton's Batman. It was an excellent film. It had a great cast, a great storyline, and great direction. But part of what made it such a wonderful film was the atmosphere that Burton created. It seemed like he had reached into the Batman comics and effortlessly transplanted Gotham City onto the big screen. His vision of Gotham City was perfect. Dark, ominous, and crime ridden, it was a place you did not want to live in. And it was the perfect home for Batman.

But along came Joel Schumacher who took over the Batman franchise from Burton. Starting with the 3rd film, Batman Forever, Schumacher's idea of the Batman world was a neon lit, carnival type society. Gone was the dark, gothic tone that Burton had created. In its place were vivid colors, bright scenery, and garish neon lights everywhere. Sweet Jesus was it awful. The sad thing is that it didn't stop there. Batman & Robin continued the foolishness with even more neon lighting and flashy colors. Not to mention it had an asinine and thoroughly pointless storyline. But this time critics and audiences had had enough and they reacted. Critics by writing scathing reviews and audiences by boycotting the film. As such it flopped at the box office and is arguably known as the worst film ever made.

As much as I hate to I guess I have to delve into the films story. Try to bare with me...this is going to be painful. And no I am not making any of this up.

As the film starts out we are introduced to the badguys, Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman) and Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzeneggr). Ivy is a homicidal psychopath who, due to a lab accident, has the ability to control plants. Her only role in the film is to drug men with some kind of love dust and make them fight over her. Freeze is a bitter sociopath who is mad at the world for the accident that made him unable to live in temperatures above freezing. As such he is, surprise, surprise, looking to freeze the entire world....starting with Gotham City. Oh yeah, he also keeps his comatose wife suspended in a water tank until he can find a cure for her disease. What a nasty pair of villains huh? Yeah right.

The two hook up when, after Batman captures Freeze early in the film, Ivy springs him. Of course, they then plan to take over Gotham City and kill Batman. This leads to several lame confrontations between the dynamic duo and our villains during which Ivy subjects both Batman and Robin to her love dust. This prompts them to do nothing but argue with each other until the end of the film where Batman gives a lame speech to Robin telling him how much he needs him. Oh brother...pass the aspirin.

Meanwhile Alfred (Michael Gough), the faithful butler is sick with an incurable disease which just so happens to be an earlier stage of what is killing Freeze's wife. Wait a minute, you don't think that Freeze has a cure for Alfred do you???

Moving on, Alfred's plucky young niece, Barbara (Alicia Silverstone) shows up for a visit. When he gives her a computer disk containing all of Batman's secrets that she is to give to his brother, being the curious lass that she is, she opens it herself and learns all about Batman & Robin. This of course makes her want to be, you guessed it, Batgirl. And low and behold...there happens to be a Batgirl costume in the Batcave. Lucky us. Or should I say lucky Batman & Robin because Batgirl shows up in the nick of time to save their bacon from Ivy's man eating plants. I sure wish I had a Batsuit because apparently, or at least in Barbara's case, when you put one on you automatically know martial arts and how to kick butt. Yay.

Ok enough. I know that you are all just dying to see this film now but rest assured, everything gets worked out in the end.

I have no ill will towards George Clooney (Batman). He is a good actor given the right role. But brother, this isn't one of them. He is completely wrong for the part of Batman. And from watching his uninspiring, lackluster performance, I think he knows it too. Sure no one can measure up to Michale Keaton's portrayal in the first two film's, but Clooney doesn't even seem to try. In fact he delivers most of his lines like he is relaxing in his favorite chair smoking a pipe. Drab baby....pure drab.

Next I have to mention what is probably Arnold's worst acting job. Yes that includes the one from Commando. He is nothing but horrible in this film. His performance comes across as nothing but pure camp. The sad thing is that it's not supposed to be. I don't remember ever seeing an actor deliver his lines in a more wooden fashion. I know that Freeze is supposed to have no emotions but Arnold does nothing but come across as a bullied high school student who has come back for revenge.

But I have saved the best (or should I say worst) for last. If Arnolds acting job was bad, then Thurman's portrayal of Poison Ivy is mind numbingly wretched. Throughout the entire film she talks in nothing but clipped off sentences that made me want to take a long walk off a short pier. She takes the "sexy tramp" thing way to far and it just never works. Part southern vixen, part psycho b*tch, she is simply intolerable.

Almost as bad was Alicia Silverstone. Who the hell cast her for this part?? I could think of a thousand different actresses who would have been better for the role of Batgirl. Her one fight scene is laughable as a stunt double is clearly used. The only fighting she did here was trying to get into her Batsuit. Awful....just awful.

And lets not forget Chris O'Donnell. Yes he is cast in a universally hated role, but he is a thoroughly unimpressive actor. All he does in this film is whine and complain. That's it. Wah wah wah wah wah. "Batman won't treat me like an equal" "Poison Ivy likes me not you" Throughout the entire film he does nothing but weigh it down.

I just have to talk a little about the dialogue. If you have seen this film you know what I'm about to say. If not get ready to groan. THE DIALOGUE SUCKS THE BIG ONE!!! Nothing I can say will express just how bad it is in this film. So here are few examples...when Batgirl first arrives on scene and introduces herself to Batman & Robin, Batman responds, "Batgirl? Thats not very PC. How about Batperson." Or during the scene where Ivy first infects Batman & Robin with her love dust, they are at an auction and begin bidding against each other for her, Batman whips out his bat credit card and states, "I never leave home without it." Another good (or bad) one is when Freeze is talking about his plans for Gotham City, he states, "I will freeze Gotham in the icy grip of death." But my favorite is when Batgirl and Ivy are duking it out, Ivy tells Batgirl that, "We girls have to stick together." Batgirl replies during a series of kicks, "Come on sister, that feminist stuff went out a long time ago. You give girls a bad name." Oh the humanity.

Well I think this is one of the longest review I have ever written and I haven't even touched on Joel Schumacher's pathetic job at directing this bomb or on the horrendous set designs that are used throughout the film. But so be it, I think you know where I stand.

Yes indeed this is without a doubt the single worst comic book oriented motion picture ever produced. It's even worse than Superman IV. And thats saying something. I am amazed that Schumacher wasn't strung up by his own entrails for directing a film this bad. Avoid this one folks.

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This is another entry in the Stinky Movie Write-Off. See link http://www.epinions.com/content_3662127236 for more info.





Recommended: No

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children up Ages 8