If there were ever a comic book-based film worthy of a bad review (besides Marvel's Captain America.. but we're talking more than a 20 dollar budget here), it's Batman & Robin. I remember the movie getting a lot of hype, trying to stir up some kind of attraction, despite it's bad acting, poor voice-overs, psychedelic lighting, and inane scripting, not to mention terrible direction by Joel Schumacher (the man also responsible for the previous below average Batman film), but everyone involved ended up looking all the worse for it, particularly the actors and actresses (would you want this movie listed in your filmography? Didn't think so). Advertising for this piece of trash was like advertising the fact that you have hemorrhoids to your entire neighborhood, only the release of Batman & Robin was on a much wider scale (though in essence it doesn't differ all that much from a bad case of hemorrhoids). A more in-depth look at this hem.. er.. film is as follows:

Plot: Hey look everyone, there's actually a plot somewhere in this veritable stinkbag, albeit a laughable one. Nonetheless, Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a mad scientist of sorts who blames Gotham City for what happened to his wife, who is now cryogenically frozen until he can discover a cure for her illness. His main goal is to freeze everyone in his path; make the world one giant block of ice in her name. Cute. Well, he has competition, and not just from crusty ol' superhero Batman (George Clooney) and his sidekick Robin (Chris O'Donnell), but from another mad scientist type-turned villainess, by the name of Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman). Ivy is a botanist that mutates herself via an unfortunate accident with the plants she studies (though that still doesn't explain the pound of make-up applied to her face).

Eventually, when the two evil-doers' paths cross, they join forces, though Mr. Freeze is actually under a chemical trance, for the most part. When he figures out what is going on (gee, her ambitions are SO similar to yours, big guy), however, he becomes the main villain of the film once again, and Poison Ivy is only added to his long list of people to happily murder. This is to say nothing of what could be considered a third villain in the film, a muscle-bound lunatic by the name of Bane, who is under Ivy's control. His body regularly pumps itself full of chemicals to enhance his strength and physical form and throughout the film he manages to give the caped crusader and boy wonder somewhat of a headache.

There is obviously a lot to say about the film's villains (looking back on the plot that only mentions Batman and Robin once, but that is only because it seems to be the style for the Batman films these days that they hog the million dollar pink, green and blue overused spotlight. Why they even called the movie Batman & Robin is beyond me, it should have been called Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy. Nevertheless, it's not a bad idea to know about the scarce plot points before watching the film, because once you actually start, you're not going to want to sit through the entire thing long enough to find out. Talk about camp. It's like Meatballs in spandex. Anyway, I've reached that point where I don't say anything more about the plot just in case you haven't seen the movie. The only small detail I believe I left out is Batgirl. Let's just say that at a certain point in the film, even Alicia Silverstone can't make things worse.

Acting: Right. Acting. Well we'll be using the term loosely today. The acting in Batman & Robin could have used a little work. You know, like the Grand Canyon needs a little filling. Honestly, I can't imagine why they keep bringing Schumacher back to the director's chair. We all know that is not always the performers' faults that a movie sucks this bad, not 100%. Well, thanks to Mr. Schumacher, we have someone else to pin part of the blame on. Each actor and actress in Batman & Robin actually can act, just not in Batman & Robin. Uma Thurman is by far the worst, though I've never considered her an even remotely talented actress from the get-go. Her attempts to be sexy are actually hysterical, and if she looked at herself in that costume, I bet she'd get a few laughs too.

On the other hand, Arnold Schwarzenegger has never been an Oscar-winner, but he's usually likable, even as Batman & Robin's main bad boy. Some parts of the film are even somewhat dramatic, because even though his character is cold on the outside, he still cares for his wife and her condition, and unlike Ivy, has something to live for other than worldwide domination (she just wants to overrun the world with her plants, how original is that?). This makes his role a bit more challenging than hers, I feel comfortable in saying.

As for the heroes, Clooney and O'Donnell make a good pair, though the script has their characters constantly at war with one another. I'd say their acting is as good in this film as most of the others they've been in (which isn't saying a lot for either of them). Alicia Silverstone is slightly off-base as Alfred's Niece, and later, Batgirl, but who's to say what's off-base in this movie? She recites the lines, so she's hired. Good enough.

Special Effects: The actual meat of the film, it's Batman & Robin's visual effects that will draw the biggest crowd around the old VCR.. or whatever. There are lots of dramatic cityscape shots, bright neon lighting, slithering vines (courtesy of Poison Ivy), and of course, Mr. Freeze's delightful little human ice cream makers (ice and snow effects). The fight scenes are fairly well done, and Arnold's costume itself is fantastic looking, easily the overall best costume on the set, with lots of shiny little gadgets adorning it's bulky frame. Though the lighting tends to annoy me more and more with each new Batman film, some viewers might like it, particularly if you like hot pink and neon green. Me, I felt like I was watching a watermelon disco.

Kids under the age of 10 may see Batman & Robin as a real treat. Otherwise, most adults and even teenagers will want to turn it off a quarter of the way through. I believe Bob Kane would be insulted.. or did he pass away after the release of this film? Hmm. I wouldn't be surprised.

Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: VHS
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 9 - 12