The year is 1983. Writer/director John Herzfeld presents Fox with his finished movie. It starred John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John and it was entitled Two of a Kind. Volumes have been published on why and how this may indeed be one of the worst movies ever made. It flopped big-time at the box-office, the critics absolutely devoured it, and now it sits on the comedy shelf, dusty and forgotten. So WHY do what amounts to a REMAKE?
Any plot that includes 'angels coming down from heaven to force two imbeciles to fall in love', I've already seen. It's hardly original, and for some reason, this inane plot device seems to bring out the worst in a director. It's quite obvious that director Danny Boyle had free rein here, because this movie is an indulgent, loud, and almost painful movie to watch. 45 minutes go by before you realize "Hey, this could have been covered in 10 minutes!"
Cameron Diaz is the only one who comes out of this unscathed, and that's mainly because she seems to realize how dumb all of this is. Ewan McGregor just whines and sits there with his mouth open, waiting for plot points to propel him forward. Watching him do comedy is akin to watching baboons screwing in a zoo: stinky and unpleasant, but strangely hypnotic.
A handful of cool character actors (Delroy Lindo, Stanley Tucci, Tony Shalhoub, Ian Holm, Holly Hunter, Dan Hedaya) are forced to mug their way through the proceedings and do lots of embarrassing stuff. (What was the deal with Holly's voice?) Throw in some non-sensical dream-like sequences, an absolutely horrible musical number, pointless and unconvincing scenes of nasty violence, and plot holes bigger than George Wendt's ass. What you're left with is an annoying and dull movie that has nothing to say and says it slowly.
It's pretty apparent that this was meant to be a "hip" movie, which usually means that if you don’t like it, you simply don’t get the joke. Well, maybe "hip" is in the eye of the beholder. To paraphrase the fictional Z. Beeblebrox: "You guys are so unhip it's amazing your pants stay on."
On a positive note, I liked the soundtrack quite a bit, Cameron Diaz is quite pretty, and there are a few funny lines. I'm giving it two stars only for those factors, and for the sheer balls the filmmakers display with this familiar and unoriginal tripe.
I pride myself on giving every movie its fair shot to entertain me, regardless of how many people trash it. That was tough in this case, but I guess the general consensus is right, just like on that Millionaire show. This is an annoying movie with stupid, unrealistic characters and a plot you've seen over a thousand times. If that's your cup of tea, go nuts.
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