I thoroughly enjoy movies – all kinds of movies. I have often stayed through the final credits when the rest of the audience disappeared during the first reel. In 40 years of movie watching I have only started watching two movies that I did not see to completion.

Starship Troopers was one of them!


Cast

Johnny Rico – Casper Van Dien plays the lead [I just can’t bring myself to call him HERO]. Johnny is a stellar high school athlete with muscles and – well that about sums it up.

Carmen Ibanez – Denise Richards plays Johnny’s first love. Carmen has lots of ambition, brains, and even more teeth. A regular female Lyle Wagoner.

Dizzy Flores – Dina Meyer plays the woman who craves Johnny’s heart [and other body parts]. Dizzy will go to any lengths to prove that she is the woman for him.

Carl Jenkins – Neil Patrick Harris plays Johnny’s school-days friend and scholastic wiz kid. Carl finds his true calling in the ministry of propaganda.


Plot

Reel #1 –

Spoiled rich kid, Johnny, joins the armed forces to follow his girlfriend, Carmen, and irritate his parents in the process.

Carmen has fantastic test scores, a great attitude, and a screen-spanning smile. She gets selected for the elite Pilot program.

Johnny has – well he really has nothing – which makes him an ideal candidate for the cannon fodder known as the Mobile Infantry.

Dizzy has lusted after [ahem, I mean loved] Johnny since school. Following him into the Mobile Infantry just seems logical.


Reel #2 –

Intergalactic Insects attack earth and vaporize Buenos Aires. [Which, coincidentally, is the home of all our American looking/sounding/thinking actors.]

Mobilize the forces and go “Beat The Bugs”! Use nuclear arms sparingly. Rely on bayonets, bullets, and an occasional hand grenade to showcase the flowing bodily fluids [red for human – green for insect].

Oh yea, enroute to the war zone, lets throw in a little quadruple “S” [sex, smiles, special effects, and sub-plots].


Reel #3 –

This is as far as I got with this pretty film.

The cast was pretty looking.
The dialog was pretty juvenile.
The special effects were pretty adequate.
The plot was pretty much non-existent.

I could simply not subject myself to another frame of this gaseous film.

[Like some gasses, Starship Troopers is colorless, odorless, and tasteless!]


Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: VHS
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age