What can you say about a movie this hokey? It's almost one of those that are so bad they become cult hits, like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, which is bad on purpose, or Plan 9 From Outer Space, which is the all time hall of fame winner for worst movie. But in this case, it's not award winning bad, it's just plain old bad.

It's kind of a shame because, like most of these turkey's, it had some potential. The problem here is common enough, no direction. Not bad direction, NO direction, as in it doesn't know where it wants to go. With Randy Quaid as a Military Style fanatical Bug Exterminator named General George S. Merlin and George Takei as an Entomologist, this could have been a hilariously funny horror parody. There are signs that someone wanted to go that way. Besides Quaids' over-the-top over acting, we have a hillbilly band called 'Trailer Park Trash' starring Johnny Legend and Melba Toast. And that's not the characters names, which are never given, that's the Actor's names, though I doubt that's the names either ones Mother gave them. While Melba has only done one other acting part ("My Next Funeral"), Legend has been around a while doing mostly Schlock Horror or Schlock-umentaries.

Well Johnny Legend fits in here just fine as we try to go from humor to gross-out horror. In one scene, a mutant cockroach enters a 'Trailer Park Trash' saxophone, and the next minute, the band in dead and thousands of cockroaches are coming out of their mouths. It's gross, but it's not scary since the heads that the bugs emanate from barely resemble anything human.

George Takei, famous as Mr. Sulu from Star Trek, plays Dr. Hiro Fujimoto, a scientist who examines one of the bugs and warns how dangerous they are, just before they kill him. Unfortunately, Takei doesn't share any scenes or conversations with fellow Start Trek Alumni, James Doohan (Scotty) who plays the local Sheriff, Carlson, who is one of the few believers in the coming tragedy. He mainly believes Dr. Laura Casey. She is played by Brenda Epperson Doumani, whose half dozen movie roles are not worth mentioning, but who might be known to some as the second Ashley Abbott on "The Young and the Restless". Carlson seems to have a mild crush on the Doctor and believes every ridiculous thing she says.

But the main part of the story revolves around a couple who just moved into town to open a bed-&-Breakfast. Bernie Kopell, the doctor from "The Love Boat", plays Gil Griffin and Anne Lockhart, who I remember as Sheba from "Battlestar Galactica" plays his wife Cammie. He also has a daughter, Shannon, played by the beautiful young Katherine Heigl from "My Father the Hero".

Now let's complicate a plot that is already way too complicated for this type of film! Shannon is involved in a love triangle of sorts with Veronica Hart (I love these names!) played by another beauty, Meredith Salenger. I think Salenger did a good job in "Lake Placid" and a great job in "Dream a Little Dream". But she's terrible here as a whiney, self-centered snob who is distraught over loosing her beauty. No, she's not worried about dying, but she wants to make sure she's still beautiful when she's dead!

So between the mutant bug infestation which no one believes, and the struggling new business owners, and the lover triangle, and the absurd exterminator, we jump around from sub plot to sub plot faster than the bugs can multiply. No reasonable explanation is given for why Trailer Trash dies on contact with the bugs while Veronica slowly decays. No reason is put forth to explain why millions of mutant, but normal sized bugs apparently have a 10 foot tall Mother. There is no plot to speak of, no morals or messages unless it's 'when it gets tough, hire the nutcase", or "brute force in the hands of idiots can overcome mutants"

Though I like many of these actors, only Quaid does a decent job. Actually, I have to admit that Downtown Julie Brown of MTV fame has a few funny lines in a bit part as reporter Katie Cunning (I love these names!). The others should hope this film disappears so they can deny ever having been a part of it. It's no coincidence that these are the only 2 that played it as a comedy. The rest tried to be serious or scary, but it didn't work. The effects were way too cheesy for any real scare factor, and the plot was too inconsistent and preposterous to take anything seriously.

I've seen this shown a few times lately on cable, but even for free, avoid it!

Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: VHS