This review will be about a movie that I have just finished watching on DVD. I’ll definitely warn you ahead of time – this review will tell practically everything about the movie, because I don’t know how else to review it.
This movie is about bad things, very bad things. The most appropriate title for this movie was CERTAILY very bad things - it really is! I’ll begin by going through the movie (which is for the most part a flash-back) – it begins near the end, then the movie jumps back to the “beginning”, and at the very end of the movie the movie catches back up to the beginning so it can end <grin>.
The first bad thing in the movie is some swearing – not so bad. Then five good friends head to Vegas for a bachelor party. They gamble, drink alcohol, and snort some cocaine. They get a stripper, then one of them has sex with the stripper – some very more bad things. Then, ooooops, the stripper/prostitute accidentally gets killed during sexual intercourse. As luck would have it a hotel security guard comes by and sees the body as he is leaving. Christian Slater (one of the friends of the groom) decides on the spur of the moment to stick a corkscrew into his heart a few times, lock him in the bathroom, and let him bleed to death.
As if that isn’t bad enough they then, cooly and calmly, go to the local Wal-Mart and buy a Sawzall, mops, plastic bags, duct tape, buckets and several suitcases and go back to the hotel and presumed to hack up the bodies, put them in the suitcase, and clean up the rooms. Then, off to the desert to bury the hacked up bodies.
Soon after, one of the guys, the only one with a wife and family, completely loses it during a pre-wedding party. His brother wants to smash his truck into his minivan out of anger, and the moron jumps out in between the two trucks just before impact. The guy is squished, mangled, and soon after dies in the hospital. But, with his last breath he apparently confesses the happenings of the previous night to his wife. But… he didn’t tell her anything, but the next day his wife finds a vague confession letter in his study – so the secret is apparently out.
But, instead of telling his wife the truth, the groom tells her that the reason he was distraught is because he had slept with a prostitute. So, now, she gets to know that the last thing her husband did was sleep with a prostitute. Wow, what a very, very bad thing. At this point I was BEGGING for the movie to end – but it just wouldn’t end. I had to keep watching because I HAVE to know how it ends.
Whoops… Christian Slater murder’s the widow. Then, shoots the widow’s brother-in-law in the head and calls it a murder/suicide. The groom loses it and tells his bride about the murders. She does not care – she insists that nothing is going to stop her wedding day. Too funny! I am amazed that this movie actually got funny toward the end. And, here we are back to the wedding, back to the beginning, heading toward the end.
Christian Slater loses it in the back room of the church – attacks and strangles the groom. Cameron Diaz saves the day and bludgeons Christian Slater in the head many times – he is apparently dead. There are now only 2 of the guys left – 6 people dead so far. But, minutes later she is walking down the isle, all are smiles. Christian Slater comes crawling out of the bathroom, not dead yet – but soon dies after the last groomsman retrieves the rings from his pocket.
Ok, the movie is not over yet at this point – but I do not want to spoil the WHOLE movie for you. Trust me that even more bad things happen – very bad things - but not as bad as they COULD have been. The End.
FINISHING THOUGHTS
Cameron Diaz's presence is completely wasted in this movie. She plays the part of the typical goody-too-shoes, rich, prissy, stressed-out, bitchy pre-wedding bride. Like I said, her appearance was completely wasted in this movie – definitely nothing like her part in There’s Something About Mary.
And, concluding – this movie is about very bad things. What’s even worse is that sometimes it made me laugh since it was so very, very, VERY bad!
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