One of Hollywood's oldest story ideas is the man who must get married now, or he'll lose a big inheritance. It was the basis for Buster Keaton's 1925 silent classic "Seven Chances". Never mind that any first year law student knows that such provisions in a will could not be legally enforceable.

"The Bachelor" is a conventional, mainstream, predictable comedy. Any film that gives work to so many elderly male supporting actors (Edward Asner, Hal Holbrook, James Cromwell and even Peter Ustinov show up) can't be all bad, but "The Bachelor" comes close.

The formula is established early. Jimmy (Chris O'Donnell) has inherited 100 million dollars and looks like Adonis, but he can't get any of his numerous and increasingly ridiculous former girlfriends (which includes diva Mariah Carey and a bitchy Brooke Shields) to marry him. Time is running out, as his late, sarcastic father (Ustinov) stipulated that he will be cut off from the will if he isn't wed by his thirtieth birthday.

Of course, we know the real reason why Jimmy keeps humiliatingly striking out. It's because he really wants to marry his One True Love (Renee Zellweger), who also wants to marry him, but only if he makes the perfect proposal. Jimmy has trouble proposing (so we are told) because he thinks he's a wild mustang, figuratively if not literally.

To make Jimmy's plight more sympathetic, more is at stake than just the money. The family firm will be sold off to an Evil Conglomerate which will fire all 200+ employees. No wonder that Jimmy's friend and co-worker Marco (Artie Lange) puts a personal ad in the paper. The resulting publicity leads to hundreds of women, all unattractive and decked out like brides, awaiting Jimmy at the church. When he refuses to marry all of them, they chase after him. This provides the best if most implausible cinematography of the film.

What I want to know is, who has kidnapped Renee Zellweger and hired this stand-in to replace her? Admittedly, this actress pouts like Renee, but doesn't look much like her. Or maybe it's just a bad perm. Marley Shelton is Renee's sister, and perhaps the reason why the two seem joined at the waist is that the director is hoping some of Shelton's glamour will rub off on Zellweger. (43/100)



Recommended: No