I'm pleased to see that this movie opened (and closed) in January. It’s really a joy when you know that the worst movie of the year is already behind you. It gives a solid benchmark for sheer waste. Everything that follows this year will earn the question "Was it as terrible as Eye of the Beholder?"
Hmmm....where to begin? Well, how about the fact that this movie has no plot, no drama, no excitement, it makes no sense, it has no sense of timing or pacing, the performances are bad, the script is a joke, my popcorn got stuck in my teeth, and this guy sitting behind me had bad gas. All in all, I got what I deserved with this movie.
Me: "Yo guys, I wanna see something! What's out that we haven't seen?"
They: "Um....'Eye of the Beholder' or 'Down to You' or 'A Hit in the Head with a Brick'."
Me: "Let's ignore the fact that I cannot find ONE good review of this movie ANYWHERE. Let's just go."
So we went.
The first like 8 minutes was OK. There was some attempt at the setting up of a plot-like thing, maybe. Ewan (I charge extra to smile) McGregor is some mysterious guy who is hired to track down some rich prick's son. The son gets stabbed rather boringly, and mystery dork follows the murderer around for 8 months while we watch. That's pretty much it. The idea that the beautiful and vapid Ashley Judd could leave a string of corpses all over the country is more amusing than interesting. Any male in the room is fair game. If he flashes a gold necklace, he’s dead. You see how it goes.
So she kills. He watches. She runs. He follows.
Oh and then she kills, he watches, she runs and he follows.
He follows her everywhere. I swear this movie looked like it had funding from the "Visit America's Backwaters!" campaign. They start in Pittsburgh, then Florida, Colorado, Maine, then somewhere warm, then Detroit, and then Alaska. This movie is a travelogue only with lingerie and poorly staged murders.
The plot barely ambles on long enough to give us just wonderful glimpses of the acting talents long dormant in the likes of Jason ("Just booked on Hollywood Squares") Priestly and k.d. Lang. There really is no connections between scenes, characters wander around and stumble into coincidences, and it's just stupid, too.
Our hero (?) sees visions of his overtly annoying daughter. She's not really there, just there enough to make every audience member want to throw up blood. Also, our ‘auteur’ director apparently has a lot to say on the importance of SNOWGLOBES ! (Those silly little souvenir things?) So he throws a bunch of snowglobe-segues and snowglobe fadeouts. I just explained it in a more clever way than he showed it.
Anyway, I've dedicated WAY too much time to this unwatchable mess. Trust me. If you decide to see it, just change your mind and send me half of the ticket price. You'll be saving money.
Dear Reader: The motion picture Eye of the Beholder is doody. I can in no way recommend one celluloid frame in this boring and obnoxious display of amateurish pretense.
The Eye (Ewan McGregor) is an intelligence agent whose current assignment is to track Joanna Eris (Ashley Judd), a woman suspected of blackmailing a s...More at Buy.com Marketplaces
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