Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie's plot.

I rented the DVD of Get Carter with such high hopes.
I mean, how can you go wrong when you remake a British classic, that starred a British icon (Michael Caine), and get an American icon (Sylvester Stallone) to star in it?

Well, don't ask me how, but they actually DID manage to screw up what seems like an easy formula.

It compounds the agony, that Michael Caine is actually playing a role in this piece of tripe.
Add in John C.McGinley,and Mickey rourke, and you have several million dollars of acting talent in a film that cost millions more to produce and make, and for what?

It is just BAD!

Stallone is Carter, a Vegas hit man, or enforcer, or debt collector, or something tough and brooding. It's never made quite clear just what his job title is, but it DOES involve being tough and broody! Stallone nails down that aspect of his character just fine. He also takes the art of mumbling to new depths (Thank God for captioning!)

So, anyway, Carter's younger brother (who Carter apparently hasn't seen or talked to for years) turns up slightly dead, and Carter goes AWOL from his Vegas gig to attend the funeral and glare at old acquaintances such as Mickey Rourke, who typically chews the edges off of the scenery, whenever he appears in the film. But at least he tries, and in this movie (with the exception of Mr McGinley) he's about the only one trying to infuse his character with any amount of vitality or any kind of spirit.
Everyone else seems to be glued to their copy of the lousy script, or to busy focusing on the pathos of their part.

So, Sly/Carter ditches on his desert coworkers, but they aren't believers in the old maxim that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder', and after a couple of explicit threats to Carter's general well-being should he not return to his day-job, forthwith, his ex-partner tracks him down to 'terminate' his employment.Needless to say, Carter takes his retirement very seriously, and hands out a little attitude adjustment to his old cohort in, well whatever they did together....

Meanwhile, Stallone has caught the scent of something decidedly unkosher about the manner in which little bro died, and proceeds to pound faces and gather enemies in a way that might lead you to think that Carter doesn't really want to have a single friend on this planet.

Turns out that a slimy little rich guy has naughty pictures of Carters niece and someone intends to peddle them in the kiddie porn subculture.

Without giving away the bad guys identities, I will just say, that Carter becomes all droopy, and sentimental when it comes to the family he abandoned, and proceeds to kick some bad guy butt, and have a car chase or two, on his way to solving this rather flaccid mystery.

The picture quality is nice and sharp with a gritty feel, but they went to the MTV-style special effects way too many times.
The sound is clear and crisp and there are a few options for captions and stereo modes.

Unfortunately, that is all moot, because this is one Stallone movie that would be blessed if it could rise even to the level of being called garbage.

It's a lousy film, with a lousy script, and some truly dreadful efforts at acting.

I now know why this film didn't get the usual studio hype upon it's release - they were probably embarrassed!




Recommended: No

Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older