Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie's plot.

First Blood.

Rocky.

Tango & Cash.

Cliffhanger.

If you wanted to list some of Sylvester Stallone’s more entertaining films, these four would probably make the list. Out of all of them, I preferred Cliffhanger because I felt the acting was above par and the story was well done.

Lock Up.

Over the Top.

Demolition Man.

Judge Dredd.

If you wanted to list some of Sylvester Stallone’s least entertaining films, these four would probably make the list. Out of all of them, I thought Over the Top was the worst. It had a stupid story, a highly unoriginal plot, and the acting was so lame it made me cringe.

I recently had the opportunity to rent Get Carter. I expected that, as Sly aged, his films would become more entertaining and he would concentrate on creating less tripe and more substance. After all, the man is a talented actor. And, from the interviews that I’ve seen of him or read, he comes across as a genuinely nice man who seems to appreciate substantive work.

Yet I sat there, remote in hand, with my finger hovering over the Stop button – each time contemplating when I should put this film out of my misery.

I can only hope that Stallone was going through a bad time in his life when he agreed to star in Get Carter. I tried desperately to find something redeeming in this film, but it turned out to be the worst kind of schlock – very much along the same lines as Demolition Man, or as I think of it, perhaps it draws more similar parallels to Lock Up.

The story behind Get Carter is that Jack Carter (Stallone), a Las Vegas mob enforcer, is going home to his brother’s funeral. His brother, who comes across as some straight-laced likeable guy, was found dead in an automobile accident. Apparently, he had been drinking heavily and lost control of his car.

Those who know his brother, however, saw him as a man who rarely – if ever – drank, and would certainly be responsible enough not to drive drunk.

Carter decides that he needs to investigate matters further. He discovers a tangled web of deceit and double-speak as he delves deeper into the truth – a truth that leads back to his own family and a very dirty secret.

So the rest of the film involves revenge – in typical stupid style that has been shown in a variety of Stallone movies, and a half a dozen Schwarzenegger movies as well.

Stallone seemed as if he was desperate to reprise the Rambo role for one last hurrah. No, he didn’t camouflage himself and carry around M-16s and grenade launchers. He mumbled his way through the script, just like when he portrayed John Rambo. Perhaps the attempt was to make Carter come across as a super-tough macho enforcer. However, the end result was that I had to waddle my way through his mumbling to figure out what he was saying.

Like Marion Cobretti (his character in Cobra), Stallone tried to deliver witty one-liners. Remember, “You’re the disease – I’m the cure” from that film? Well, Stallone had the same garbage spewing from his mouth in Get Carter, like “I’m Jack Carter, and you don’t want to know me.” He seems rather fond of that line – he says it a few times throughout the film.

Interestingly enough, this film is a remake of the 1971 film Get Carter starring Michael Caine as Jack Carter. However, that story took place in Newcastle, England. This updated version takes place in Seattle, Washington.

Caine has a smaller role in the 2000 version of the film as a character named Cliff Brumby. But even an accomplished actor of Caine’s stature can’t save Get Carter. Brumby’s character is worthless as a whole and except for a one-minute exchange in the film with Carter, and casting Caine for this role seemed to be a total waste of such great talent. As far as I’m concerned, his character should have been left on the cutting room floor – and knowing what I know of Michael Caine, he’d probably want it that way.

Perhaps the best part of the whole film was Doreen (Rachael Leigh Cook), Carter’s neice. While her role wasn’t spectacular in any sense, her character was the most believable and you feel some sympathy for her in general due to her situation.

Get Carter is directed by Stephen T. Kay and the cinematography was done by Mauro Fiore, both of whom have resumes that wouldn’t impress a first-year film student. The camera work was awful. Aside from most of the movie being filmed in the dark or in the rain (okay, it took place in Seattle, but even Seattle sees a few minutes of sun a year), for some reason they decided that a few jerky fast-forwarding effects every minute or so would add to the enjoyment of the film. Instead, it annoyed the heck out of me. Memory flashbacks were done in dull black-and-white film sequences that could have passed for a weak attempt at subliminal message experimentation. My dog could have performed a better job of directing a film and working the camera than this crew could on their best day.

The stunt work also wasn’t anything special. What was offered looked as if it came straight from the pages of The Aspiring Stuntman’s Guide to Typical Car Chase Scenes. The only thing missing was a car hitting a shopping cart as an old lady jumps out of the way.

This film is rated R by the MPAA for good reason. It is filled with plenty of gratuitous violence and exceedingly foul language, along with some rather unnecessary drug use and sexual content. It runs 102 minutes too long.

If you’re sitting home bored on a Saturday night and decide to scour the video store for a few hours of entertainment, I’d suggest that you think about for a moment why sixteen copies of Get Carter are on the shelf still out of the seventeen copies they own. There’s good reason, because this is clearly one of the worst films Stallone has ever made.


Recommended: No

Viewing Format: VHS
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age