MAJOR PLOT DETAILS REVEALED THRU-OUT REVIEW

I'm reading this first part off a TelePrompter:

I suffer bravely for my constituents, my good readers who trust me for solid and informed advice on movies and, perhaps especially, Academy Award nominees. It is for you that I have made the supreme sacrifice of seeing this utter clap trap. I take time away from my own desires and my own life (bite upper lip he...oh, I wasn't supposed to say that. Oops)just like a soccer mom who must spend minutes a day owning a sweatshop so she can buy caviar for her unexploioted children. I have made the supreme sacrifice...

Seeing as I am a liberal, I am something of an expert in liberal claptrap which is the major ingredient of Chocolat. The Republicans (led by Alfred Molina) are a rigid and uptight bunch that want women to stay married even when they're abused (yes, Republicans, I know this isn't true. The movie, however, does not).

The Republicans manipulate the rhetoric of religion (this in the guise of Alfred Molina "revising" the young parson's sermons -- subquestion. Is there ANY movie out there where religion and faith are portrayed as invigorating, positive, and life-affirming forces?) And, most evil and dastardly of all, Republicans loathe anything that upsets the status quo, be it a chocolatier and her sumptuous culinary delights or a roving band of water gypsies. Republicans, according to the Democrats, want us to believe that these gypsy (black, Jew, Indian -- just throw in a minority here)boaters will BE THE UNDOING OF US ALL!!!

Who are the victims of the Republicans? The martyrs are, of course, those sweet (but a little saucy) innocent Democrats who just want to live out the rest of their days without being shoved into an uncaring nursing home, a young single mom (if the kid had been a soccer player, I was going to bolt the theater)who just wants to find, somewhere somehow, the best life for her and her daughter vis a vis the magic of an untenable, mythic (though I think, essentially good-hearted) health and social security program, I mean chocolate and last but not least, the aforementioned band of gypsies (alas, Hendryx was not among them, though Johny Depp does pick a decent guitar -- and, yes, he can actually play)

By now -- or maybe even sooner -- you're saying to yourself, but Mike (that's my name), are you sure you're not just reading into this? I mean, it has pretty decent direction and the cliches do move along at a nice clip, right?

But consider this about Miramax's strategy for getting this film nominated for an Academy. The movie initially opened in limited release not just in the usual hot spots, but also around the Beltway. Nominators who live in the Beltway were pitched this film's liberal agenda as a primary enticement for nominating it (for my source goto the most recent issue of EW, Ty Burr's article on why some were nominated and some weren't.) This film's agenda was programmed and controlled down to every single last nut and bolt -- or should I say coca and chili pepper.

Now I said before and I'll say it again I am a dyed in the wool liberal. When I goto a movie -- or read a book, or watch a tv program, or walk across the street I don't want an agenda forced down my throat. The least of the reasons is the fact that the art that is produced is always far less than 3 dimensional. Lasse Hallstrom, Judi Dench, Juliette Binoche, Carrie Ann Moss, and the little girl (can't remember the name, but she was the sweetheart in Ponette) all have more talent in their little fingers than most name actresses, actors, and directors have in their entire bodies. In some spots there was hope that their combined forces would bust this hackneyed material wide open

But they all eventually drown in one predictable schematic scene after the other. When will the Mayor breakdown and speak about his rubber ducky (Paddy Chayefsky's term for the emotional weak spot that makes a character an azzwipe). Lo and behold, the very same scene where we learn of chocolate-loving Grandma's diabetes and a big celebration the chocolatiers are planning. Not to give anything away, but I did win five bucks on the impromptu dead pool my friend and I had (I was closer in terms of total minutes afterwards)

Avoid this like butterfly ballots


Recommended:
No