Most everyone, unless they've made their residence some distant land underneath a huge rock, knows the story of Count Dracula. Well, apparently the makers of Dracula 2000 didn't think so. Also, apparently, they didn't think anyone who's ever been remotely familiar with the story of Jesus and The Last Supper on the Mount of Olives would remember their Sunday School lessons, or that, maybe, they'd never see this movie! Believe me, they shouldn't.

A large three- or four-masted ship on the open sea. Asail upon calm waters, a stunningly bright, sunny day, beneath a cloudless sky, the Demeter, enroute to London, in the year 1897. Suddenly, the seas become troubled, dark. Rain slashes the ship, waves wash over her sides, tossing her and whipping the sails, upon which words have been written in what appears to be blood. Aboard [a scene that brings to mind Dante's vision of hell], the camera pans the expanse of the ship. A bloodied, startled-looking figure (her captain?), lashed to the ship's wheel, as if to get crew and passengers to shore with his dying breath. Littering the deck, from stern to bow, felled bodies, bloodied, still. Below deck, the same, witnessed and attended by rodents. The only sign of apparent life aboard the directionless vessel.

Cut to land. A horse-drawn carriage passes a figure on foot facing camera, walking briskly, though unhurried, through an alleyway. Fade out; fade in London, in the year 2000, a large, tunneled, glass-enclosed building. Inside, two men; one distinguished, grey-haired, the other young. The young man holds a weapon which resembles a bow, made of metal (no ammunition); the older man sits behind a desk, looking on, listening as the young man describes the weapon, translating the inscribed legend written upon it in Slavic (much like what had been written upon the sails of the ship more than 100 years before). The older man is Matthew Van Helsing (Christopher Plummer), purported to be grandson of Dr. Abraham Van Helsing, vampire hunter, who has inherited his forebearer's antique business. The younger man is Simon Sheppard (Jonny Lee Miller), Van Helsing's buyer/assistant antiques dealer.

The two men discuss the ancient piece of silver weaponry, Simon making a crack as to how it could have been something the "senior Van Helsing" had used in his search for vampires. His boss, the current Van Helsing allowing that his grandfather had actually been just a "country doctor" and that folklore had it that this "poor" old fellow had been running around the world chasing a character out of "Bram Stoker's novels." Into this predominately good-natured mêlée, and into the room, steps a blond, sedately dressed in subtle blue serge suit. The young woman, apparently Van Helsing's administrative assistant, hands him some type report, asking to take her leave for the evening.

As Van Helsing grants her request, the object of young Simon's adroit attention is not lost on the viewing audience. It's obvious there's some past between the two, Simon and the young woman. While preparing to take her leave in another room, Simon walks in, suggesting they depart together, to which she says she doesn't mix pleasure with business. Simon inquires, since when; her answer indicates they have had an intimate relationship, but, no longer. She leaves Simon watching her back.

While this has been happening in the administrative area of the business, in another, seemingly appropriately guarded area of the building, a break-in is taking place. Six males, lead by Marcus (Omar Epps), and after gaining entry by a ploy involving Trick (Sean Patrick Thomas)--one of the six intruders--have disarmed the two guards, binding their arms and legs, taping their mouths shut, though placing them out of the way and unharmed. Here we see the obligatory new trend of use of high-tech methods to circumvent the equally high-tech employment of defense systems and mechanisms that would have, 20 or 30 years in our past, been the province of a James Bond operative. Today, at least one such secret agent operation is required to satisfy the "techies" in the audience.

Having gained their way into the "inner sanctum," the six then proceed to search the lower level of the building for valuables, warranting the high-tech entry, guards, and surveillance system. They are soon joined by Solina (Jennifer Esposito), the blond assistant to Van Helsing. Her greeting to Marcus is not in an unfriendly manner, either. A series of mishaps takes out a couple of the guys, leaving Marcus, Solina, Trick, Charlie--the pilot (Tony Munch), and Dax (Tig Fong)--the apparent official lock-picker of the group, who blast their way out the outside wall, taking the only thing of obvious value that had been under lock and key in the vault... an antique silver coffin.


"All fear he who walks beneath the halo of eternal night"

Right. Perhaps this little warning could have been better serving had it been inscribed someplace (in English, please!) about the vicinity of the silver coffin. Lord knows all the cruciforms, crosses, leeches, and skulls with bad dental work didn't give these unsuspecting, greed-driven thieves a clue.

The unwary six, make way for (where else) America on their own private jet. Their destination? Where else would someone like our sleeping dark prince wish to go in America? New Orleans, of course. And, it would just happen to coincide with Mardi Gras, of course.

Of course, our little band of thieves must get their "booty" opened before they land (why? planning on landing at a commercial airport? hope not with a very visible coffin on board). Of course, Dracula (Gerard Butler) "awakens" and sees to everything.

Drac's not the only one "seeing" things, either. A dark-haired girl of twenty-something is also seeing things. In fact, she's seeing things that Dracula is doing. And, this is not the first time she's seen his face in her "dreams." It's just the first time she's seen him in his true colors, doing the things that come natural to him. Her name? Mary. Mary Heller, nee Van Helsing (Justine Waddell). Estranged daughter to the most recent antiques dealing Van Helsing of London. But, where is she? And, why is she able to witness Dracula's dark deeds?

Gathering his newly "recruited" force, the dark prince takes the Big Easy by storm. His goal? Looks like Van Helsing's been taking things that didn't belong to him, and now Drac wants his just dues; payment in full. Drac's long-time nemesis' daughter, Mary, has his blood coursing through her veins. Now, he means to claim what's his and Van Helsing, realizing he might be losing a daughter, enlists the help of his assistant, Simon.

Having followed his boss to America, although he'd been assigned the job of seeing after the business in Van Helsing's absence, Simon finds answers to the many questions he'd attempted to ask earlier. However, when he does, he finds it all too amazing to believe. Until he's thrust head-long into the thick of vampires. When Solina and her cohorts join in, Simon all but decides his boss has gone the way of his "grandfather." Then, he learns the truth of his employer's identity, including the existence of daughter, Mary, and a tale about the prince of darkness that's even harder to swallow. But, that's not the half of Dracula's story.

By the time Solina makes new "friends" in the form of Lucy Westerman (Colleen Fitzpatrick), Mary's old roommate and co-worker, and news reporter, Valerie Sharp (Jeri Ryan), Simon and Mary learn that Dracula is much older than legend had them to believe. And, after Dracula's tale of his less than ordinary beginnings one question seemed paramount in it all: Could there be a connection between Judas Iscariot and Vladimir Dracula? If not, what is the significance of the coins' clinking against the ground? If so, would the fulfilling of Judas' centuries-delayed plans rid the earth of the curse of Dracula? [Oops! Sorry. That's three (3) questions, isn't it. Oh, well, my bad. So, what, I can't count, and they can't write a script for a believable Dracula flick, either... so there! Anyway, on with my conclusions]


My Conclusions

My review's title, Fate Worse Than Death, contrary to what most of you think, does not refer to the "kiss" of the "vampire" or eternal life. No, this vampire flick has "no teeth," you might say. There just isn't (excuse the pun) "any bite" to it. A sad attempt at putting a new spin on an old tale (or rather, a couple of old tales) that just didn't wash.

Ten producers on one film project has got to be some sort of record. Daniel K. Arredondo, one of three co-producers, was assistant director on Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3 and Teaching Mrs. Tingle. All nine of the remaining producers on the fated Dracula 2000 were producers on no less than two of the same films of the horror/slasher genre. However, the most notable of the ten is none other than Wes Craven.

When Wes gets a particular theme into his head, he just runs with it, the devil take the consequences. The religious storyline is one that Craven's tried before. Latter sequels of Nightmare on Elm Street were heavily infused with the correlation of light and dark forces fusing to create the evil that was Freddie Krueger. Even went so far as to insinuate the antichrist likeness, with Freddie being born of a virgin nun who was raped by a demented mental patient in an insane asylum. So, the turn of events casting Vlad as a major force in the story of mankind, first, then as an equally important catalyst for the desolation of mankind, secondly, was no great surprise for me, once I was aware of the source of the film's supporters, particularly Mr. Craven.

One other bit of trivia. The script didn't call for a whole lot of acting talent. Let's face it, except for the Matrix, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon-like stunts, not much imagination or creativity to play a role was necessary. A scream here or there; drop in a line or two of dialogue; then, a startled look when the Big Biter put the big bite on his next victim. Good thing, too... considering the dubious acting talent on hand.

It was interesting to note that except for Christopher Plummer, the leads in Dracula 2000 had few, if any, creditable roles on the cast of any big screen hits, and even fewer parts in movies or series made-for-TV. Furthermore, their future pickings look just as lean. Though, in the supporting cast, Omar Epps and Sean Patrick Thomas have recent hits under their belts. Both are among the few of their fellow cast members with future offerings, along with Plummer, Butler and Exposito, having commitments for up-coming attractions within the next two years. [Wonder who chose this cast? Why?]

Digital effects were passable, but nothing spectacular--nothing we haven't already seen in countless other flicks the past three to four years in the cinema. However, I did find the stock footage [a kaleidoscopic collage of images, gleaned by way of an outdoor video screen/board, to catch Drac up on all that had happened in our world during his century plus hiatus, courtesy of Van Helsing] an extraordinary touch. The direction and handling of that entire sequence lent the most notably inspired authenticity to the project. And, there was the musical score.

The soundtrack was interesting. Predominantly hard rock, some cuts have strains of jazz (remember, we are talking about a New Orleans/Mardi Gras setting, after all) and/or blues-dixieland style effects. Artists: Static-X, Godhead, Linkin Park, The Oslo, Royal Concertgebouw, Steve Boeddeker, Endo, Powerman 5000, Monster Magnet, Half Cocked, System of a Down, Slayer, Disturbed, P.E., Flybanger, Elektra, Taproot and Saliva. Soundtrack is available on Columbia and Sony Music Soundtrax.

I recommend Dracula 2000 only for the lightest of movie-viewing, or if you're in need of an assignment/project for a filmology class [how NOT to make a classic]. Due to the subject matter, the usual gore present in most vampire movies, the suggestions (as well as actual acts) of seduction, sexual content and language, I do not recommend for young audiences.



WRITER'S NOTE: I grew up on vampire flicks. The old classics were on our set whenever they were televised, and as often as my siblings and/or I knew they were showing. Strangely enough, I far more prefer the Nosferatu to any other breed of creature, and always have. Perhaps, seeing as though I'm of the feminine mystique, it's psychological (or, more truthfully, physical)?

Throughout my years on this earth, I've read (and enjoyed) a great many different tales of the Count and his "offspring". This one, while taking a new approach toward the source of the conception of this "old friend" of mine, was a decidedly long stretch. I'm used to his unique power, his eternal existence, his aversion to all that is holy. I can accept the thought of him as the antithesis to good, the seducer of mankind, the kin of evil and the devil's own. But, accept this? Maybe it'll take time to grow on you? Then, again, maybe it won't.



CAST

Christopher Plummer as Abraham Van Helsing/Matthew Van Helsing; Sherlock Holmes in Murder by Decree (1979); Bob Blair in Dreamscape (1984); coming attractions: Full Disclosure (2001) & Ararat (2002)

Gerard Butler as Dracula; Shooters (2000); coming attractions: Attila [TV mini-series] (2001) & Reign of Fire (2001)

Justine Waddell as Mary Heller (Van Helsing); Countess Nordston in Anna Karenina (1997); Julia Bertram in Mansfield Park (1999)

Jonny Lee Miller as Simon Sheppard; Dade Murphy (Crash Override) in Hackers (1995) [where he had top billing over Angelina Jolie]; Edmund Bertram in Mansfield Park (1999)

Jennifer Esposito as Solina; Nancy in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998); coming attractions: Beyond City Limits (2001) & Don't Say a Word (2002)

Colleen Fitzpatrick [aka Vitamin C--recording artist] as Lucy Westerman; a festival singer in Higher Learning (1995); Vitamin C (herself) in Da Hip Hop Witch (2000), Get Over It (2001), and Scary Movie 2 (2001)

Omar Epps as Marcus; Phil Stevens in Scream 2 (1997); Jeff Cole/J. Reid in In Too Deep (1999); coming attractions: Perfume (2001) & Big Trouble (2001)

Jeri Ryan as Valerie Sharp; Lydia in Men Cry Bullets (1997); Monique in The Last Man (2000);

Sean Patrick Thomas as Trick; Ronald Clifford in Cruel Intentions (1999); Derek Reynolds in Save the Last Dance (2001); coming attractions: Halloween: The Homecoming (2001)


As always, thanks to all for reading.



***Please check out the other selections mentioned below if you'd like.***

Viewing Note: If you prefer to remain in your current root directory (http://www.epinions.com or whatever root directory you arrived here on) just copy and paste from the first single forward slash (" / ") of the link of review you select from the list below. Example, you arrived on your own content partner root and wish to go to review on Urban Legend: The Final Cut from list below. Copy: content_29448507012/tk_~CB005.1.5 from the url listed below and paste in your browser url address box at top of your browser, to achieve the following "http://www.your content partner root directory.com/content_29448507012/tk_~CB005.1.5" and press "go to" or depress your "enter" button on keyboard. You're there!


Other Movie Reviews With Like Themes:

*...It's About A...
http://l-image.epinions.com/content_29448507012/tk_~CB005.1.5
My "the sequel sucks write-off" entry on the sequel to Urban Legend.
Review on "Urban Legend: The Final Cut"

*Dizzying Heights
http://l-image.epinions.com/mvie-review-5355-207F0154-3A2C5A19-prod2/tk_~CB003.1.22
A Hichcock classic.
Review on "Vertigo"

*Things That Go BUMP! in the Night
http://l-image.epinions.com/mvie-review-1A2F-73AFA55-39FF8A43-prod1/tk_~CB003.1.46
My personal classic list of the 10 best horror movies.
Review on "The 10 Best Horror Movies"

*If It Ain't Broke...
http://l-image.epinions.com/mvie-review-580C-86F17D5-38DE38CB-prod3/tk_~CB003.1.58
A not so classic remake of a classic horror.
Review on "The Haunting"




Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: DVD
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age