My friend Andy, who has long earned himself permanent trust as the person who influenced me to watch Lawn Dogs, Amores Perros, Tape, and Rushmore, selected the New Zealand film the Price of Milk as his favorite movie of 2001, and attempted on request to describe the movie to me. Months later, having not seen the movie mentioned anywhere else, I told him I still had no reason to believe he hadn't made the movie up. "Yes, I get that a lot", he replied. "I'm creative, but I'm not THAT creative".
For some of you, that will be enough to determine whether you want to see this movie.
For the rest of you, I'll say that the acting is good, and that the directing is entirely adequate to the plot's challenges; but since I didn't know what to make of Andy's plot summary, maybe a plot summary isn't the way to go here? I will say that it is an essentially serious, though very odd, film. It begins with the marriage proposal of Rob, who sells his cow herd's milk for a living, to his very pretty bathing partner Lucinda. She accepts, and then other events intervene, and soon it becomes clear that it would be a spoiler if I told you whether they get married in the end or not.
I'm very fond of the film. It is strikingly original, told with conviction, and pretty to look at, but it's more than that. The movie is a fable, with all that implies; and the actions of Rob and Lucinda, and the reactions of the film's world, teach many valuable things about how to live (in ways far more vivid than me just telling you). The three most important lessons are probably
(1) In the following dialogue --
Rob to Lucinda (on movie screen): "Wow... I shouted at you. I got angry... that felt really good!... Yes, really. I hadn't realized how much I loved you before".
Me to my wife Cindy (on couch): "Don't try this at home" --
I am right. Very right.
(2) Never bet or promise anything you can't afford to lose.
(3) Just because someone is probably a figment of your imagination is no reason to treat them inconsiderately.
Smaller, but still useful, lessons include (in roughly the order in which they occur):
(4) People get really annoyed when you run over them with your car. Don't do that.
(5) If you find yourself involved in your version of this Rob-Lucinda dialogue --
Girlfriend: "Stop stealing my covers"
Sleepy boyfriend: "I'm not stealing your covers"
Girlfriend: "Well, somebody is" --
be nice. You're probably both right.
(6) Cows don't become better conversationalists once you get to know them better and they start trusting you.
(7) No matter the circumstances in which your boyfriend ditches you, no matter the solidity of his excuse, you can always find a girlfriend to tell you she never liked him and he was always wrong for you.
(8) Lesson (7) may not be the blessing it seems.
(9) Guns are not toys.
(10) It is probably a good sign if a movie is written and directed by someone who also wrote and directed a (fiction) movie called Topless Women Talk About Their Lives, which is a cool title.
(11) Everything looks better colorized.
Although for all the heck i know, New Zealand just came out of the box looking colorized. If writer/ director Harry Sinclair is to be trusted, it's certainly an unusual place in plenty of other ways. Then again, given the amount of mortal danger the Price of Milk's characters wander unexpectedly into, it might be safest to assume your own home is unusual too. Watch, and be careful.
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