The Mummy Returns is a well-crafted movie in the sense that it is guaranteed to make money. The studio has made a sequel of a successful movie, brought back all the major characters (including the title character, who will no doubt keep resurrecting from the dead so long as the studio can cash a paycheck for it)), added a child character for the kids, and poured on the special effects like so much hot fudge onto its vanilla script.
It all adds up to a summer movie that will open with a bang despite the fact that it’s a dud.

The opening scene introduces us to the Scorpion King, a legendary warrior-king of Egypt who made a pact with Anubis, god of the underworld. The Scorpion King is played by Dwayne Johnson, aka “The Rock” of the WWF. Fans of the Rock will be disappointed, as he has more lines in a weekly edition of WWF Raw than he does in this whole movie (If you’re not a fan of the Rock, don’t worry – there are plenty of other things in this movie to be disappointed about). Our introduction to the Scorpion King, like the rest of the movie, relies heavily on special effects to carry it.

We are then brought up to date with the heroes and villains from the first time around. Rick O’Connell and Evie are now married, with a young son, Alex. Not having learned their lesson the first time, they’re still plundering Egyptian tombs, allowing young Alex to run around scarab-infested, boob-trapped ruins like they’re a sandbox in the backyard. Our friend, Imhotep, the Mummy, is getting dug up by the usual band of cult worshippers, who are being watched by the Medjai, Ardeth Bay.

The plot unfolds as follows: Imhotep is searching for the Scorpion King’s lair, for if he kills the Scorpion King, he will gain control of the army of Anubis and conquer the world. Yawn. I will give the movie credit for at least not taking itself too seriously – several times that characters have a similar reaction to dire threats made about an apocalypse – “Oh, that tired schtick? Tell me one I haven’t heard already.”

But that ultimately is the problem with this movie – we’ve seen it before, and it was done with a lot more style and grace (that would be Raiders of the Lost Ark, for you youngsters out there). Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weiss are adequate, but compare unfavorably with Harrison Ford and Karen Allen. The antics of Freddie Boath, as the young Alex, are entertaining, but nothing special. The Rock may have potential, but I’m not sure he had a comprehensible line in the movie.

Stephen Sommers both wrote and directed The Mummy Returns, and thus, he cannot avoid taking the lion’s share of the blame for this B-movie with a 100 million dollar budget. His script is so predictable that when a major character is killed, there’s not a shadow of a doubt that she’ll be resurrected before the scene ends. In addition to the razor-thin plot, Sommer’s direction is non-existent. The fight scenes are boring, especially the ones between the female characters. I was praying that Grace Jones from Conan the Destroyer would appear and kick both their butts across the desert. What? You didn’t like Grace in Conan? How about Wilt the Stilts? I was hoping they’d resurrect Chamberlain and bring him in, for crying out loud. At least you get a little blood with Wilt. With The Mummy Returns PG-13 rating, you don't see a drop.

The effects do little to salvage the movie, although that’s clearly the intent and desperate hope. Some of the effects are fairly good, although nothing that “wows” you. Some are just simply bad, in particular the early scenes of the Scorpion King’s conquering army – it just looks amateurish. Like in many other movies, Sommers has made the mistake of using the special effects as the centerpiece of his movie, rather than to enhance a good story.

Bottom line - It’s movies like these that really bring out the arrogance in me. After watching The Mummy Returns, I’m sure I missed my calling in life – I could be making a lot more money cranking out schlock in Hollywood.


Recommended:
No

Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 9 - 12