Not since last year’s Blair Witch 2 has a film been so falsely advertised as America’s Sweethearts, an egotistical and irksome inside-joke that even to pass as a romantic comedy. Former Disney head Joe Roth selected this as the first picture for his newly founded Revolution Studios, and the first directorial effort from Roth in eleven years. The hope is that since this is essentially the only high profile romantic comedy of the summer, women will flock to it, dragging along their hesitant significant others. The problem is that a movie with this much hype must deliver. This film often has trouble delivering laughs let alone enjoyment.

The idea is that with America’s sweetheart Julia Roberts in the film next to a charming leading chap, John Cusack, the film will be a blockbuster. Hey, it worked for Notting Hill right? The problem is that Ms. Roberts has crafted her whole career around the fact that she is able to captivate an audience with her beauty and charm, both qualities absent here. I would even go as far as to say this is one of Roberts’ weakest efforts. First off, she isn’t even the leading female in the film. She is in the about 45% of the film while the woman playing her sister, Catherine Zeta Jones, commands all of the screen time. Poor Julia also has to deal with being a character who is certainly glamourless. As a plain Jane, our sweetheart just isn’t that appealing.

Under Roth’s careless direction America’s Sweethearts goes all over the place, in a manic attempt to make us laugh. Many scenes that should be golden aren’t executed properly. When funny moments do arrive, and there are a few good ones, it’s funny because of the performers as they try hard to make something out of nothing.

That nothing was written by Peter Tolan and Billy Crystal. Crystal also takes on an unfunny supporting role as a head press agent. After Tolan and Crystal combined to write Analyze This we expect more than just stale jokes and hackneyed romantic trifle.

America’s Sweethearts appears to have been made to be a Hollywood satire more than a love story. You have the most successful Hollywood couple Gwen Harrison (Zeta-Jones) and Eddie Thomas (John Cusack) whose new film is about to be released, only the studio has not gotten it yet. It’s cuckoo director (Christopher Walken) has hijacked the film. He refuses to let the studio head (Stanley Tucci) see the final product before the press junket.

If this is not enough, the studio is also going crazy because interest in the stars is waning. Gwen left Eddie about a year ago to be with a sexy Spaniard named Hector (a hilarious Hank Azaria). As one former fan puts it, she can’t stand to watch Gwen when she is not with Eddie.

Bring in Crystal’s character Lee who has a big task on his hands. Try to make it look like Gwen and Eddie are getting back together.

How will he do this alone though? He enlists the help of Gwen’s plain sister and assistant Kiki (Roberts). Kiki is nothing more than Gwen’s slave. Although she is not the pretty one she is no longer the hideous after losing 60 pounds. There’s a flashback scene with Roberts donning a fat suit. This should be funny right? The adorable princess of the silver screen looking more like Ricki Lake. Guess what, the scene is just another failed opportunity. It’s so not funny that no one in the
audience laughs.

Everyone is off to Nevada, where the films press junket will take place. Let’s just say that things are not pretty since the two stars are not getting along. Gwen is still a stuck up witch and Eddie has become some sort of broken-down version of his former self. Losing Gwen has torn him
apart.

But in the span of about 24 hours Eddie quickly decides that he despises Gwen and loves Kiki. Gee, if loved worked that fast in real life it would be so much easier.

America’s Sweethearts certainly had potential. Under the proper guidance it could have been as biting as Bowfinger and as romantic as Roberts’ 1999 effort Notting Hill. Instead what we must sit through is over 90 minutes of constant whining and back stabbing. There’s not one character that the audience can relate to.

The only bright spots in the film are some of the male performances. Cusack is such a good actor that at this point even a screwed up character like Eddie Thomas is likeable. He is also a good comedian. My favorite line of the film came from Cusack. When Lee asks Eddie why he doesn’t have an entourage he replies, “I’m a paranoid schizophrenic. I’m my own entourage.”

Then there is Azaria. Each time he comes on screen the audience braces itself for more laughs. The problem is that he has a limited role. Also this performance is territory he has covered before. It’s basically his character from The Birdcage only straight and angry as hell.

Julia is only passable, worse than even her below average performance in The Mexican I just hope this is not a sign that she is getting sloppy in choosing her roles again. The last thing Roberts needs is to fall into the obscurity she was in before My Best Friend’s Wedding again brought her back into our hearts. Did anyone see her in Mary Reilly or Something To Talk About? Does anyone even know she had a supporting role in Michael Collins?

Another problem is that the film’s subject matter is too eerie after the recent splitting of some top Hollywood couples. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the recent split of not only Tom and Nicole but also Ms. Roberts and Benjamin Bratt. Let’s not forget that Hank Azaria recently split from Helen Hunt. Maybe this movie could have been titled The Broken Hearts Club.

If you know little about the Hollywood scene, the film may seem even less funny. I doubt that many moviegoers would understand the humor in a press junket scene or a studio’s attempt to save a film under dire circumstances.


Recommended:
No

Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older