[WARNING: Spoilers!!]

Dear Mr. Burton,

I have been and remain a big fan of your ever since I saw Beetlejuice during its original theatrical run. Some of your movies would be in my top ten favorites of all time, including Edward Scissorhands and Batman. A poster for your masterpiece Ed Wood overlooks me as I write this. That being said, even the best directors swing and miss sometimes.

I was extremely disappointed in the recent Planet of the Apes remake. Yes, I said "remake" because I am not buying into this "re-imaginging" hype. I just saw a commercial for the upcoming "The Musketeer" and the studio is using the term "re-imaginging" to promote that film as well. A solid remake updating the original film would have done us just fine, and made a lot of fans very happy.

Please correct me if I am wrong {WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD}, but I believe the planet Marky Mark crash-landed on was originally uninhabited, according the the recording seen in the ruins of the Space Station. The talking apes evolved from the smart, experimental monkeys on board. The humans evolved from the astronauts on board, correct? I can see a new breed of smart monkeys evolving from Space Station monkeys, but how does that explain the different varieties of primates on the planet, gorillas, orangutans and so on. And if the humans evolved from the astronauts, which I assume are smart people, why weren't the humans (which outnumber the apes 4 to 1) able to develop beyond the stone age? Oh, and where did the horses come from?

I must say I was impressed with Rick Baker's make-up design, but it was still difficult to understand many of the ape-actors. Was ADR not a possibility?

Tim Roth's Thade was horribly overacted, in my humble opinion. He's the bad guy, okay, we get it. Charlton Heston was so charismatic in the original, Marky Mark was incredibly bland.

If this was a re-imagining, why on Earth did you allow lines like "Get your stinking paws off me, you damn, dirty human" and "Damn them all to hell" to remain in the script. These were incredibly powerful lines in the original Planet of the Apes, only to become laughable here. The Rodney King reference "Can't we all just get along" is tired line by now, and its inclusion in the movie came across as amatuerish.

But don't worry, Mr. Burton, I forgive you. You've got a strong track record and I look forward to your next release, as I always do.

Best Regards,

Brazil J. Grisaffi


Recommended:
No

Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older