Plot Details: This opinion reveals major details about the movie's plot.

Here’s the ‘plot.’ Jay and his brother Silent Bob are two airheads who have this tendency to curse the F word. Their dialogue typically goes like this.

Jay: “Don't you never say an unkind word about the Time. Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole f***ing lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I'm a smooth pimp who loves the p***y! And Tubby here is my black manservant!”

Silent Bob: “......”

Oh yeah, the plot.

Jay and Silent Bob are half-brothers who hustle and deal weed and harass kids walking into a convenient store in New Jersey. After a while they’re arrested, booked, arraigned, and given a restraining order to keep them away from the store. To pass the time, they talk things over with a friend of theirs. Jay and Bob are shocked to find someone has stolen their idea of a comic book with characters based on them and is now making a movie out of it. There are already message boards on the Internet bashing the movie loosely based on their stolen story. The two of them vow to hunt down those who stole their story and their ID’s and gave them no profit from the story. Since the studio is in LA, the two of them decide to make their travels across town. Hence the road trip from New Jersey to Hollywood.

During the trip they meet several characters, especially a group of skinny girls in a 70’s-style van, a US Fish and Wildlife Service ranger, and an orangutan they rescue from a research laboratory. The stupidity climaxes when the two of them reach Miramax Studios, where the ripped-off story is to be filmed.

The problems I have with this movie are as follows: Too many clichés, chicks are too thin, the law is too lenient, some plot holes are too enormous, and all the characters (including the real actors and actresses) are too stupid, and the real . Thank You.

Too many clichés. The plot is predictable; the two heroes are as stupid as they turn out to be; yet they get rich in the end. Did I mention an orangutan they adopt in the little lab they enter? That attracts the attention of some Fish and Wildlife Service officer played by Will Ferrell. He chases them relentlessly across the country throughout the movie, as if he’s an FBI Agent instead of a Fish and Wildlife Service officer.

Plot holes are too enormous. For example, there is one scene where the Park Ranger jumps towards the pair but ends jumping 400 feet down into the plunging waters of Glen Canyon Dam instead. Surely no one would survive such a dive into these massive churning waters that would cut up a blue whale. But wait, a minute later, he emerges, wet but alive! Did God actually curry favor on him for his funny antics? Also, there is another scene where Jay and Bob (Jay does all the talking) where the orangutan they have in custody and pose as gay lovers who adopted a child. I mean, even a mental retard could never be fooled by this idiocy.

Chicks are too thin. There are four of them in the flick; they’re professional jewel thieves. American Pie’s Shannon Elizabeth, who plays the one called Justice (predictable name, isn’t it?), is the only chick worth mentioning; the three others (one of whom I recognize as a no-talent bimbo named Eliza Dushku) are interchangeable with any three porn actresses out there. The ripoff scene with Charlie’s Angels, in which the four of them dress in tight leather suits and engage in Catwoman-style gestures, is at best bland. The back flips towards the jewels past the security lasers are obviously done by stunt performers. At worst, the scene is painful, at worst excruciating, to watch.

All the characters are too stupid. This brings us to the finale with the various real-life actors and actresses at the place. I find it too confusing to give away any details about how all the non-fictional characters. Their ranks include Shannon Doherty, Matt Damon, and Jason Biggs, just to name a few. But the scene of Chris Rock- as Himself-whining and babbling about black this, black that, how blacks never get this or that, was already driving me to motion sickness even before he opened his mouth. By this time, of course, I knew that the movie was utterly fake. The movie could do better without these real-life spoofs.

The actual Studio Scenes are out of place. The most excruciating part, by the way, is the scene in a Hollywood studio, where one will see spoofs of Scream, Good Will Hunting, and some other stupid spoofs. Such a scene is too improbable to be realistic. And you know how Jay and Silent Bob get in? Simple- when they get caught by a security guard just past the gates (the place is the actual Miramax studios, by the way) they ask that guard if he’s gay. Turns out that he is, and he lets them go within the premises after receiving...

The best performers, no surprise, are Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes. Smith, it turns out, directed this flick. Shannon Elizabeth is not bad either as the jewel thief. Will Ferrell is downright funny as the US Park Ranger. But they don’t fully save the movie from its many flaws as it is hoped. Eliza Dushku, by the way, acts like she's in a ghetto porn flick (and looks like a porn actress too).

Overall, Jay and Silent Bob is laughable more for its wide plot holes and inconsistencies than for any comic antics. If you want to turn off your brain and make a game out of pointing out the plot holes, clichés, and other idiotic stuff, enjoy. Otherwise, keep it on the shelf.

Jay and Silent Bob- played respectively by Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith (also the director)

Other cast members include:
Will Ferrell- some anonymous Fish and Wildlife Service officer
Molly Shannon- Justine
Three porn actresses, one of whom is Eliza Dushku- Justice’s three accomplices
Matt Damon- Himself
Shannon Doherty- Herself
Jason Biggs- Himself
Chris Rock- Himself


Recommended: No